Let Myself Believe

"Reynold Reynolds," a man's voice called back. "I'm a private investigator. DeGarde, Louisiana. Looking for Andrew Michael Carter?"

"What you want with him? He ain't riding no more God damned bulls," Victoria screamed, her anger bubbling up.

"No ma'am, this isn't, I'm from his family," Reynold called back. "Ma'am, could I, this would be a lot easier if I didn't have to yell through a door."

"Wait here," Victoria snapped.

"Who you yelling at?" Andrew asked when Victoria stomped into the bedroom. "I'm in here so I know it's not me."

"There's some guy, says he's from your family," Victoria snapped. "What you want me to do with him?"

"Shit, was hoping they wouldn't find me here," Andrew sighed. "Oh well. Go ahead, let him in. Knowing my family, they ain't going give up."

Victoria opened the door and motioned with her head. Reynold Reynolds urged his immense bulk into the trailer. Both he and Victoria winced as they heard the floorboards give an audible groan underneath his feet.

"Yeah, was down to two thirty," Reynold offered. "That keto diet? Really works, but..."

"What happened?" Andrew asked, hobbling into the living room. "Ria, you make us some coffee?"

"Fourth of July, had a couple hot dogs, couple beers," Reynold admitted. "Then, just kind of kept cheating, kept cheating, I'll get back on it next week, and..."

"Next week never got here," Andrew agreed. "I'm Andrew Carter. You are...?"

"Reynold Reynolds. Saw you on television," Reynold said, easing his bulk onto the small loveseat. "Of course, had seen you like couple months earlier."

"Okay," Andrew shrugged, flopping into the recliner.

"Your uh, your family hired me to find you; your dad had cancer," Reynold said, nodding his thanks as Victoria brought him a mug of coffee.

"Okay," Andrew said. "Thanks, Ria."

"I mean, man! You pretty much just fell off the face of the earth," Reynold continued.

"No. Not really," Andrew said.

"So, when I saw that bit on you riding them two bulls at that rodeo here, went and asked your brother if that was you," Reynold said. "Think it was Monster and El Diablo, something like that."

"What kind of cancer?" Andrew asked.

"Monstro and El Diablo. And he's not doing it ever again, you hear?" Victoria snapped from the kitchen table.

"Hmm? Oh, he had pancreatic cancer," Reynold said. "William? Your brother? Said that couldn't be you; you were terrified of horses so weren't no way you'd ever try bull riding."

Andrew laughed a bitter laugh. Victoria glared at him from the kitchen table.

"It was William that was scared of horses," Andrew scoffed. "Mr. Reynolds, I hope you charge the shit out of him for being such a lying ass sack of shit. He. He's the one scared of horses, not me."

"My daddy's a cowboy," Rianna announced.

"Well now, that right?" Reynold smiled at the young girl.

"Mm hmm," Rianna agreed and returned her attention to her coloring book.

"But when that accident happened, in Las Vegas?" Reynold continued. "My God, have you seen it? It really looked like you were about to be hamburger. Anyway, your sister said it was you."

"Wait a minute, you said Big Bill had cancer. Had. As in past tense?" Andrew asked, stomach knotting up.

"I uh, yes sir, he uh, his funeral was last Thursday," Reynold admitted. "I'm sorry for your loss. Ma'am, could I trouble you for another cup?"

"No trouble," Victoria said, getting to her feet.

"So Big Bill's gone, hmm?" Andrew quietly asked, holding out his own mug to his wife.

"I uh, yes sir, sorry," Reynold admitted. "If William hadn't..."

"...Lied his stupid ass off, I'd been able tell my father good bye," Andrew said bitterly.

"Yes sir, looks that way," Reynold agreed. "Again, I'm sorry for your loss. He uh, he was a good man."

"Oh bull shit," Andrew snorted. "I once heard a rig manager say 'if you can't say anything nice about someone, you're talking about Big Bill Carter.' Big Bill was an ass hole, through and through."

"Andrew!" Victoria firmly chided her husband.

"Well, okay, if Big Bill's gone, why'd you bother coming see me now?" Andrew asked.

"Your uh, your mother insisted," Reynold said. "Said they need you come on back home, help run Tri-Carter."

"Tri-Carter?" Victoria asked.

"Oil rigs communications, computers, honey," Andrew explained.

"That dangerous?" Victoria asked, small face hardening.

"I'd be sitting at a desk, pushing paper from the left side to the right side," Andrew told her. "But uh, why isn't William running it?"

"He, uh, he is," Reynold said. "And according to your mother, he's running it into the ground."

"Because he doesn't have a clue what it is we do," Andrew thought aloud. "And he's too damned arrogant to ever ask anyone for help."

"Where's Tri-Carter?" Victoria asked. "That in Kansas?"

"Louisiana, Sweetheart," Andrew said. "DeGarde, Louisiana."

"Well, when the Saints are playing the Broncos, don't expect me to cheer for them Saints, hear?" Victoria said.

"Hang on, wait a minute, wait one stinking minute here," Andrew laughed. "You mean, you tricked me into marrying a Broncos fan?"

"Wait a minute, you mean, I married a Saints fan?" Victoria smiled. "But I should have known. Only a Saints fan would be crazy enough to get on a bull."

Victoria kissed Rianna on the top of her head. She squeezed the little girl tightly.

"Mommy's so sorry, Rianna. She didn't know Daddy was a Saints fan," Victoria said.

"That's okay Mommy," Rianna assured her mother. "That's okay."

"Both of you, be quiet," Andrew laughed. "Mr. Reynolds, it's going be at least five, six weeks before I can drive."

"Oh, I, uh, I can drive y'all home," Reynold assured Andrew.

"Mr. Reynolds, this is home," Andrew said firmly. "To you, this might look like a shitty little trailer in the middle of nowhere. To me? This is a palace compared to what's waiting for me in Louisiana."

"Ought To see where I live," Reynold agreed, looking at the small but clean trailer.

Thanking Victoria for her coffee, Reynold Reynolds shook Andrew's hand and left the trailer. Andrew hobbled to the door and watched the large man get into a large Cadillac. Before the man even started the car, he was speaking into his cell phone. With a sigh, Andrew closed the door.

"Ria, might as well get ready," Andrew told Victoria. "Once he tells Big..."

Andrew felt the first sting of tears. Reynold Reynolds wouldn't be telling Big Bill anything. His father, a man Andrew had feared and hated most of his life was gone. Andrew would never know what last words his father might have had for him; William robbed him of that.

"We going to Dee, Dee, where'd you say it was?" Victoria asked, putting her arms around his neck.

"DeGarde," Andrew sniffled.

"Okay. How long should I pack for?" Victoria asked.

"Couple of weeks, I guess," Andrew said.

The walking cast was cumbersome, but Andrew made it work. Victoria was happy to let Andrew drive; she hated driving. Rianna had a million questions; why were they going to Louisiana? Who lived in Louisiana? Were there really alligators in Louisiana? Were these alligators going to eat her up?

A small, clean motel in Falwell City, Oklahoma gave them a comfortable bed. Rianna loved the motel's swimming pool and asked why they couldn't stay a few more days. The promise of another swimming pool once they reached Louisiana did not mollify the girl.

"Your mother does have a swimming pool, right?" Victoria asked when Rianna had fallen asleep, rocked by the motion of the truck.

"Mm hmm, oh God yes," Andrew said. "Big Bill went to a party at Gordon King's house; Gordon King had a swimming pool with three fountains in it? So we have one with five fountains. Ugliest God damned thing you ever saw."

A Waffle House in Lafayette, Louisiana served them a late lunch/early dinner. The waitress bordered on being rude as she stared at the numerous piercings Victoria's face sported.

"My mother won't just look," Andrew warned Victoria. "Believe me, she will have some comments to make about them rings."

"Think my momma don't?" Victoria shrugged. "I'll just tell your momma what I told mine; don't like them? Don't look."

Pulling off of I-10 into DeGarde, Louisiana, Victoria swiveled her head, looking at everything. Andrew pointed out some sites of interest to her.

"The Dead End? That a Goth club?" Victoria asked, noticing the several luxury automobiles parked in front of the squat cinderblock building.

"It's a gentlemen's club," Andrew shrugged.

"Like Cunning Stunts?" Victoria asked.

"Now, how you know about..." Andrew asked.

"Worked there for a bit," Victoria shrugged. "You ever go there?"

Cunning Stunts? Or The Dead End?" Andrew asked.

"Either one," Victoria asked.

"Mm hmm. The Dead End's actually got pretty good plate lunches," Andrew confirmed.

"Okay," Victoria said and looked with interest as Andrew turned onto Welles Street.

"Aw, Jesus, great," Andrew sighed, seeing that there were two luxury automobiles parked on the drive.

Minnie always made Joseph, their servant park her Mercedes-Benz in the garage. Big Bill always kept his extended cab pickup trucks in the garage. Two cars in the drive meant that either Natalie or William or both were present at the Carter home. It was unlikely that these cars might belong to friends of Minnie's; Big Bill had run off any potential friends years ago.

"Well, might as well get all the shit over with at once," Andrew said, opening his door.

His stomach knotted up as he helped Victoria out of the truck, then unhooked Rianna from her car seat. All of his fears, all of his doubts were once again crowding out all other thoughts in his head.

Victoria loved him. In all the time they'd known one another, Andrew had never worried or wondered about Victoria's fidelity. Even when he was in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming, Andrew had not given one thought to her faithfulness.

Julie had said she loved him. Terrie had also declared an undying love for Andrew. So had Angela and Anna Lynne, all had said they loved Andrew, would love him forever. Candy and Andrew had even made plans to wed. And William had taken each girl's affections from Andrew as easily as snapping his fingers.

"Look, I, uh, my brother? William?" Andrew said as he hoisted Rianna out of the truck.

"Where's the swimming pool?" Rianna demanded.

"Later, Sweetheart," Victoria said, taking the girl from Andrew. "It's not time to go swimming right now."

"He uh, he's this real handsome dude," Andrew said, putting his weight on his cane.

"So? I been around real handsome dudes before," Victoria shrugged. "Ain't never fallen in love with none of them like I done with you."

"Keep telling yourself that," Andrew said as they walked up the walkway.

"What's that mean?" Victoria asked.

"Ria, know how you afraid let yourself believe?" Andrew asked.

"Uh huh," Victoria agreed.

"Well, when it comes to William, I, I've let myself believe, and it really, really, it just blows up in my face. Every time," Andrew admitted.

"Oh," Victoria said.

They continued to the door. When they stepped onto the first step, Victoria looked at Andrew.

"Well, know how you always trying tell me it ain't going blow up in my face?" Victoria asked.

"Uh huh, Andrew said, stepping onto the next step.

"And there ain't shit you can say tells me it ain't going blow up just like every other time?" Victoria asked, stepping onto the third step.

"Uh huh," Andrew said, pausing in front of the dark wooden door.

"And you know there ain't shit I can tell you it ain't going blow up in your face," Victoria said. "We just going have to do this, get it over with and hope for the best. Sweetheart, that's all we can do."

Andrew bent and gave Victoria a quick kiss. Then he pushed the button. They heard the echoing chimes sound out.

"Yes?" William's voice cut through Andrew, cutting from a small speaker nest to the doorbell.

"It's Andrew," Andrew snapped, already on the defensive. "And my wife and daughter, Victoria and Rianna."

"Oh? Finally decided to show up? After Dad's already dead and gone?" William mocked through the speaker.

"Would have been here sooner if you hadn't been a lying sack of shit," Andrew barked, enraged.

"William, who's at the door?" Andrew heard his mother's voice.

"Mom, it's me. Andrew," Andrew called out. "And I've got..."

"Andrew? Oh, Andrew!" Minnie's voice floated.

A moment later, the door swung open. Minnie, looking every bit of her fifty six years rushed to hug Andrew. She stopped short when she saw the little pin cushion freak standing next to her errant son. Her eyes then focused on the little girl in the grotesque mutant's arms

"I uh, who, Andrew, who are these people?" Minnie demanded.

"Mom, this is Victoria, my wife," Andrew said. "And this is Rianna, our daughter."

"I, wife? You? Oh my God, son, screw her if you have to, did you get a tetanus shot? But you didn't really marry her, did you?" Minnie spluttered, outraged.

"Know what? Tri-Carter? Can go to hell," Andrew snapped. "Bye Mother. Enjoy bankruptcy."

"Andrew Michael Carter, you come back here," Minnie demanded.

"Let him go, Mom," William smirked. "Once a loser, always a loser."

"Yeah? Want come here and tell me that to my face?" Andrew challenged.

"What. Ever," William laughed and moved past Minnie. "Could kick your ass any day, anytime, anywhere. And with that broken foot? You don't stand..."

Victoria cradled Rianna, turning the girl's head away from the two combatants. She smiled a satisfied smile.

Yes, William was handsome, in a sleazy way. She'd seen that smirk on countless men that had paid her money when she danced at Cunning Stunts nightclub. Entitled, arrogant punks that never had to do an honest day's work in their lives. If their mommies ever took the American Express card away, they wouldn't know how to survive.

Andrew, her man, her husband knew what hard work was. And if need be, to make sure his wife and her daughter had food and shelter and whatever they needed, he would risk life and limb to provide for them.

William might think he was the better man. Andrew might believe that William was the better man. Victoria knew who the better man was; she had that man's name on her arm, and on the ring finger of her left hand.

William's mouth was still running when Andrew delivered a solid punch to William's smirking face. William's feet actually left the ground as he toppled backward. He was out cold when his head bounced on the walkway.

"You were saying?" Andrew smirked.

"But I want see the swimming pool," Rianna whined.

"Good bye, Mother," Andrew called out. "When you apologize to my wife for your inexcusable behavior..."

"Andrew? That's Andrew?" Natalie screamed out, barging past Minnie. "Andrew!"

"She leapt toward her brother. Andrew crashed against his pickup truck when Natalie's pregnant body plowed into him. Natalie hugged him and kissed him on his lips.

"Oh my God! Oh Andrew!" Natalie said, crying happily.

"Um," Victoria said, voice very tight. "Andrew, Honey? Who is this?"

"Ria, this is my sister," Andrew laughed at his wife's jealousy. Natalie, this is Victoria, my wife. And the little doll with her is our daughter, Rianna."

"Oh my God! I'm your aunt! Hi! I'm Aunt Natalie," Natalie squealed to Rianna. "Victoria, it, it's so great to meet you, hi Rianna, well, that's a very pretty name, but then again, you are a very pretty girl, yes you are."

"Son of a bitch, you sucker punched me," William slurred through bloody lips.

"Sucker punched you? Bitch, you were looking right at me," Andrew laughed, hobbling to the side away from Natalie and Victoria and Rianna.

William charged. Andrew swiveled to the side and let William crash into the pickup truck. Then Andrew brought his right foot down on William's bent knee.

"I want see the swimming pool," Rianna informed Natalie.

"Can I show her?" Natalie asked Victoria. "It's just right out back."

The police siren drowned out William's anguished scream. Andrew raised both hands, showing the police officers that he was unarmed, other than his cane.

"I am calling Donald Pellichet right now," Minnie called out to Andrew.

"Good," Andrew nodded. "Good evening, officers."

"Officers, it's just a misunderstanding," Minnie said, cell phone to her ear. "These are my two sons."

"You sure, Ma'am?" the senior officer asked, looking at the writhing William on the ground.

"Yes sir," Minnie said. "Lieutenant Hebert. You know how it is. One of them runs his mouth, the other one shuts it for him."

"Momma, Rianna wants to see the pool," Natalie said, now holding the girl in her arms.

"And? You know where it is," Minnie said.

"Had a couple of cousins like that," Lieutenant Steven Hebert agreed. "Sir? Can you stand?"

"Son of a bitch!" William screamed, speech garbled. "Officer, I fucking want to press charges!"

"Do you, William?" Minnie snapped. "After all, you started it, William. Andrew was leaving. You're the one that just had to come out here and run your mouth, William."

Minnie pointed to the front of the house, toward the security camera. William attempted to hoist himself to his feet, using Andrew's pickup truck as leverage. The two police officers looked toward the security camera.

William tried to lunge for Andrew. Andrew hobbled quickly out of the way and William again crashed to the ground. Both police officers tore their eyes from the home to where William lay on the ground, grunting and thrashing.

Minnie shook her head, looking at William, "William, maybe you better leave. I think you've done enough for today, don't you?"

"Mom, God, I can't even walk!" William protested, clutching his right knee.

"But have the energy start up all kind of trouble?" Minnie said, turning away from William.

"Young lady," Minnie said to Victoria. "I owe you an apology. Just saying 'I'm sorry' really isn't enough. But I hope you're the bigger woman than I and will accept my most sincere apology."

"Yes ma'am," Victoria agreed, after shooting Andrew a look.

"Come, Natalie has your child out back," Minnie declared. "No, no Donald, false alarm; we don't need you this time. Thank you. Have a good evening."

"Fucker, I'm going kill you, you hear?" William threatened Andrew.

"You can try, pussy," Andrew laughed, hobbling after his mother and his wife.

"Aunt Nat'li says you my Grandma," Rianna announced to Minnie when the trio stepped into the back yard.

"I uh, well, yes, I suppose I am," Minnie said, frowning.

"Look Mommy, look at the pool!" Rianna enthused.

"I see that," Victoria agreed, looking at the monstrosity that Big Bill had commissioned for his back yard.

The Olympic sized pool had a concrete pad in the center, a concrete pad in the shape of a 'C'. Five fountains jetted ten feet into the air, splashing down onto the C.

"Good God; it is as ugly as you'd said," Victoria whispered to her husband.

"Grandma I can go swim?" Rianna begged.

"I up, well, if your Mommy says it's okay," Minnie said, still flustered at the little stranger that was calling her 'Grandma.'

"Go ahead; we're right here to watch you," Victoria smiled.

With that, Rianna pulled off her Mickey Mouse tee shirt and pink shorts. Clad in her panties, the child raced for the pool.

"Whee!" Victoria laughed as Rianna jumped into the water.

"Is that, does that, Andrew, that child has a tattoo?" Minnie sputtered in shock, seeing the rose tattoo on the child's back.

"No, Mom, it's a temporary tattoo," Andrew laughed.

"She seen mine and wanted one," Victoria explained. "So I got her a couple of transfers."

"You? Have tat, Andrew, please tell me you don't have such disgusting things," Minnie demanded. "And please tell me you don't have any, any, whatever those things are called."