King of Hearts

"Auntie! Auntie! Wake up. We're going on a boat ride!" She shrieked.

"Okay, baby. I'm up."

She dragged me into the kitchen, where my mom and dad were sipping coffee and Sam was frying bacon.

"Good Mor-ning!" My mom said in a sing-song voice. My dad simply smirked and went back to his newspaper.

"I thought it would be nice to take a cruise. My pontoon boat is in the water and it's going to be a gorgeous day," Sam said after he kissed my cheek chastely.

"Sounds fun," I said as I poured a cup of percolated Auntie's wake-up elixir.

"Did you have a nice evening?" My mother said, fishing for details.

"It was underwhelming, but okay," I said as Sam spit his coffee up.

My dad burst out into laughter as my mom stared at me in shock.

Emma broke it up, having no idea what we were talking about, "Daddy, can I have chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Sorry, honey. We don't have any chocolate chips or pancake mix. We're having bacon and scrambled eggs. Would you like some cheese in your eggs?"

"With ketchup?"

"Of course, with ketchup."

She nodded vigorously.

***

We were an hour into a leisurely cruise on the water. My mom, who is in fantastic shape for a woman in her fifties, was spread out on the bench seat sunbathing in a cute bikini. My dad was almost too obviously enjoying his view of her. Sam was driving and letting Emma help steer, while I sat in the back of the boat, sipping on my mimosa, content with my life all of a sudden.

It was almost a dream come true. Sam loved me, wanted to date me, and wanted me more involved in Emma's life. Add to that how wonderful he was in bed, and life couldn't get any better.

Then our phones rang almost at the same time. My store opener, Brittney, was calling me.

"Hey, Britt. Everything okay?"

She said, "Not really. I can't come in today. I'm sorry for the short notice, but I just woke up. I'm in the hospital."

"Oh my God!" I said. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I was assaulted on my date last night."

"What? Holy shit!"

Everyone looked at me. Sam looked pissed.

"He forced himself inside of me and I couldn't stop him," she said.

"Jesus. Did you call the police?"

"Yeah. They arrested him last night after taking my statement here."

"Wow, I'm so sorry. Don't worry about work. I'll take care of it. You just take care of yourself."

"Thanks, Erica," she said and hung up, crying.

"What's going on?" My mom asked.

"A problem at work," I said. "Sam, can you take us back? I have to get to the shop and open it. My usual opener is in the hospital and I'm the only other one with keys and security codes."

"Yeah, I have to get back as well. Eric needs to be bailed out of jail on some B.S. charge. I'm sorry to do this, Mom and Dad, will you stay with Emma please? Feel free to take the boat back out."

"Of course we'll take care of her," my dad said.

Sam asked, "Do you want to just carpool. I can drop you off and head over to get Eric while you do what you have to do."

"Yeah. Sounds good."

I called one of my other clerks in to work while we were on the way back. Sam wouldn't say what Eric was arrested for. He didn't want to talk about it. Whatever it was made him angry.

"Sam, you won't have to drop me off. I'll leave the keys and security codes for one of my night girls to close up."

"Okay," he said gruffly.

***

We were waiting for Eric in the lobby and Sam was still angry. When Eric walked through the doors, he looked like shit. His face was scratched and his clothes were wrinkled.

"Jesus, you look like hell," Sam said.

"Yeah? I feel like hell. That fucking bitch attacked me for no reason. She was into it every step of the way and then went crazy," Eric said with a sneer.

He looked at me and said, "What's she doing here?"

"She's with me. We were at my cottage with her parents. When you called, we were on the water."

"Sorry. Thanks for helping me out."

"No problem. Let's get you home."

On the way to his house, Eric was very quiet. I said to Sam, "Would you mind stopping before we head back and getting some flowers for Brittney?"

"No, of course, not."

"Fuck that bitch!" Eric shouted.

"What's your problem?" I asked.

"She's the lying bitch that put me in jail. I didn't rape her. She wanted it."

Sam asked, "What happened?" while I wanted to beat the hell out of Eric.

"She took me to her apartment, she took me to her bedroom. Hell, I had my fingers in her pussy at the club and on the way home. She probably came three times before we got home. Then when I'm fucking her she flips out and starts hitting me. She scratched my god damn face. She never said stop. She never said no."

"That's not the way she tells it, asshole."

"Fuck you too. Of course, you'd take her side."

"Both of you calm down, please!" Sam shouted. "It sounds like he said, she said, Erica. Maybe it's..."

"You believe this piece of shit?" I shouted.

Before he could respond he stopped the car at a condo complex.

"Fuck you and fuck your girl. She'll pay for falsely accusing me of raping her. Thanks for the ride."

He slammed the door and stormed off into his building.

"Jesus, what an asshole," I said.

"Why don't we wait for all of the details before we pick sides?"

"You believe him? My employee is in the hospital. He tore her vagina. You believe she didn't tell him to stop?"

"No, but I've known him for fifteen years. He doesn't need to..."

"Shut up. Don't even say it. Don't even say he doesn't need to rape a woman to get laid. I can't believe you're on his side."

"I'm not..."

I didn't hear the rest. I got out of the still parked car and ran off. I couldn't believe he was taking his side. I had to get away from him. I had to think. How could he believe Eric over my hurt employee? I knew first hand Eric didn't give a shit about a woman when he was fucking her.

I cut through the back of a strip mall and found a Wal-Mart. I ordered an Uber and headed for the hospital.

I cried for the entire ride. My driver didn't know what to do, so he said nothing and I was glad.

I stopped in the flower shop, picked up a bouquet and vase, and headed to her room. I wondered the whole way if I had lost or thrown away Sam. While I believed her, I hoped I wasn't digging in too hard.

***

I went home after visiting Brittney. She was going to be fine physically, thankfully. I did worry about her emotional state, however. She was a strong girl, but that kind of trauma could mess anyone's mind up. She agreed to see the counselor the hospital recommended and I was glad.

I ignored Sam's texts and calls. I knew he got back to the cabin because I had to ignore my mom and dad's texts and calls. I needed a breather.

I opened a bottle of wine even though it was only early afternoon and I sat in my favorite chair and had myself a pity party.

I had a nagging feeling that I was overreacting and every minute that passed by pushed me farther away from Sam. I lived up to my usual personality and over-thought the entire situation. Was my 'always believe the victim' stance clouding my judgment?

I replayed everything Sam said, over and over in my mind. I knew he was mad at Eric. Was he mad at him because we were inconvenienced and had our weekend interrupted? Was he mad because Eric put himself in that situation? Was he mad because he thought he was guilty?

I drank the last bit from my glass and went to open a second bottle. Drowning my problems in alcohol was not the right thing to do and I realized I needed to eat something.

I ordered some Chinese food and went back to my comfy chair. I started reading the texts and transcripts of the voicemails left and deleted it all up until the last message left five minutes before.

Sam went low and had Emma leave me a message.

"Auntie Erica, where'd you go? I miss you come back soon. Love you, bye."

The doorbell rang and I went to get my dinner. I was mildly surprised when I saw my dad standing on the porch.

"Come on in, Dad."

"Thanks, honey. Here, looks like I got here at the same time as dinner. You aren't going back are you?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Dad. I feel like I made a mistake, but I won't stand for him taking Eric's side."

"He's not taking anyone's side, you know. Not everyone is built that way. Where you are taking your friend's side to support her, he's stepping back to be objective and to wait for it to play out."

I gave him a plate of Orange Chicken and we sat to eat.

"Erica, as soon as he found out that your friend was the victim, he was put in a horrible position. His best friend and business partner told him his side of what happened. He wanted to be supportive of his friend but not as far as automatically believing he was telling the truth. Then he found out it was your friend that was the victim and put him in a worse position. He did what he thought was right and didn't make a judgment on either of them."

"Dad, I get all of that. It's not right to disregard the victim's story."

"Did he do that though? Really think about it. Did he at anytime say he didn't believe her?"

"I don't think he did," I said.

"Okay. So can you see the merit in his position? You don't have to agree with him, nor do you have to abandon your position to do that. We don't all have to think alike."

I listened to my dad's counsel and realized he was right. I didn't have to like that Sam wasn't taking Brittney's side, but why should it cause a problem between us.

"Thanks, Dad. I'm sorry I've caused such a fuss."

"Don't worry about it. You know, as much as I love Chinese, I was looking forward to the filets Sam was marinating."

I laughed and said, "Okay. Let's go back."

***

When we pulled into Sam's driveway, Emma ran out of the house shouting, "Auntie Erica! Auntie Erica!"

She stopped short of the driveway and waited until the car stopped before running to my door. I hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"Come on, Daddy said if you don't hurry, the steaks will get cold."

"Okay, okay. Let's have some steak."

I brought along two bottles of a very good Cabernet to hopefully make up for my part in our fight. If I knew Sam—and I was sure I knew him, he'd already have forgiven my attitude and storming off on him.

I walked around the back of the house to see if he was still cooking on the grill and saw him looking sad.

He noticed me and ran over immediately.

"I'm so sorry, Erica. I really..."

I cut him off with a kiss.

"No apologies, please. I'm the one who overreacted. Let's just promise to not discuss it okay? I'll continue to believe her until she's proven to be not telling the truth. I know you're going to wait and let it play out and I understand."

He kissed me deeply and when he broke it said, "I love you."

"I love you too, now go check the steaks. I like mine medium-rare."

***

After dinner, my parents went home and left Emma with us. They intended to take her home with them but I wanted her to stay.

Sam started a bonfire by the beach, and Emma was excited to make s'mores. I showed her how to do it and we made the appropriate mess, giggling the entire time.

She was amazed by the clear, starry sky. We didn't see starry skies in the city as we did in the country. She fell asleep in my arms while we were sky-watching, nuzzled into my neck.

Sam kissed my forehead and said, "She loves you so much. She doesn't remember very much about Erin. She was so young when she died that I'm afraid she'll forget everything about her."

"We'll just have to make sure she remembers her," I said. "We have to keep telling her the stories and showing her the pictures, keeping the memories alive for her."

He took my hand and said, "Always."

He looked off to the lake and said, "You know, I still feel her. I feel her presence. I can't explain it, but I know she's there. It's as if I can feel her love."

A tear slid down my cheek. I didn't respond, I had no idea what to say. I didn't feel anything. People have stories of twins feeling their sibling across the country or knowing the moment they died, but we didn't have that kind of connection. All I felt was the sorrow of losing her still, several years later.

Emma stirred and said, "Mommy?" in her sleep. Sam put a finger to my lip to stop me from speaking. I had tears flowing down my cheeks thinking she called me mommy, however, Sam corrected that thought.

"She does that pretty regularly. She calls out for Erin, in her sleep. I always hope that means she dreams about her."

I nodded, understanding.

"I'd like to apply for the job," I said quietly. "I know I can never replace her, but I'd die to be with you and Emma."

He stroked Emma's hair and said, "If it can't be you, no one ever will."

***

We slept together in bed but with Emma in the next room, we didn't make love. I felt so safe and content in his arms, I never wanted him to let go.

In the morning, I woke up with Emma snuggled into me and Sam gone. Emma stirred and woke and I said, "Good Morning, cuddles."

"Good Morning, Auntie. Where's daddy?"

"I don't know. I just woke up and here you are."

"I couldn't sleep so I came to sleep with you."

I kissed her forehead and said, "Want some coffee?"

She giggled and said, "I don't drink coffee, silly goose. I drink milk."

"I do drink coffee and I'd like to get some. Wanna come with and get some milk?

She nodded and we ventured out of bed. If I thought I was happy sleeping in Sam's arms, waking up with that little girl in my arms was a tie.

***

After that weekend, we dated each other and loved each other. I was spending several nights a week at Sam's house and Emma noticed pretty quickly.

A few weeks after we became a couple, Emma asked, "How long will it take for you to be my new mommy?"

I hugged her and said, "That's up to your daddy. I'm not going anywhere and I hope that someday in the future I'll be your new mommy. Unless you always want me to be Auntie Erica?"

"I think I want you to be Mommy Erica."

I started crying and said, "I love you, cuddles. You know that?"

"I love you too."

***

As Thanksgiving approached, we were happy with where we were and where we were going in our relationship. We had a bit of new relationship sheen on us, but we were very compatible.

Another thing was Eric's trial approached. We held up our promise and didn't talk about it, but I could tell Sam was under a lot of stress. His biggest problem was with work.

Their other partner agreed with Sam that Eric should take a leave of absence while on trial. Eric threw a fit and threatened to quit. Sam convinced him that it would be better for the business and Eric ultimately relented.

Brittney tried to quit my store because she was worried about seeing Eric. They met when he saw her working in my store. I convinced her not to quit and to work at my other location. She accepted and with a little shifting around, I made it work.

As the trial date approached, Brittney called me in tears.

"He got a plea deal. He's going to serve a year in prison on some lesser sexual assault charge."

"At least he's not going free," I said. I was glad he wasn't getting off but I knew Brittney wanted blood.

"I guess. I wish he would've really suffered though."

"Britt, believe me, him doing any prison time will hurt him plenty. His ego is beyond measure."

Sam came home and gave me the gave me the same news. He was clearly upset and retreated to his office to be alone.

I walked in, carrying a glass of his favorite whisky and a cigar.

"Come on. Let's go to the back," I said.

He had a four seasons room in the back of the house. It was a nice set up and it was where we spent a lot of time together. He didn't smoke often, but he had a humidor of cigars and used that room to relax with one occasionally.

He sat down and said, "I always knew he was an asshole, but I never expected this."

This was his pain, I didn't want to be perceived as showing no sympathy so I let him talk it out. He knew I hated Eric.

"Erica, I'm so glad he never did anything like this to you. It's all I've been thinking about since I bailed him out. I can't stop thinking about Brittney and her suffering with what he did and what I would've had to do if he did it to you. I think I would've killed him."

"Stop thinking like that. It's over, his life is ruined. He'll always have this hanging over his head. I won't be surprised if he leaves the area when he gets out."

"He's already decided that. He sold his condo and will be following his parents to Arizona when he gets out. He'll have plenty of money, so he isn't exactly busted and ruined."

"Too bad," I said quietly. He heard me but ignored it, thankfully.

I wanted the asshole burned, but had to keep that inside. While Sam never took his side, he was still sensitive to losing his friend. I could understand that and I respected his space on it.

***

The day before Thanksgiving, Sam came into the store, "Hey, love," I said.

He looked crabby but smiled when I came up to him.

"Hey, baby. I just wanted to pick up some wine for tomorrow."

"What? You don't trust your wine store owning girlfriend's ability to pick out wine?"

"No, I guess—I don't know. My mind is fried today."

"What happened?" I asked.

"We bought Eric out and it cost us a lot, so I'll have to put some money into the business to ensure we have enough liquidity over the slower winter months. Well, that and my best friend is going to jail. It's really bothering me."

"I'm sorry, is there anything I can do? Do you need some money?"

He laughed and said, "No, I just need to get over it."

"Okay. Well, leave the wine to me okay? That's one less thing you have to deal with and I'll come over tonight and provide some stress relief."

"Mm, now that sounds great. I'll see you later."

***

The holidays passed by in a blur and before I knew it, we were coming up on Valentine's Day.

I had no idea what to expect or even if Sam wanted to do anything and I wasn't about to push it. It was, of course, a sad day for me as well.

After that first anniversary of Erin's passing, no one celebrated it. We all went to visit Erin's grave, but never got together again to celebrate.

By that time, my house was just for storing my furniture as I was spending most of the week with Sam and Emma. She loved having me there with her to help her get ready for school and have dinner with her. She was attached to me and I loved every minute of it.

Sam and I were having lunch one day at the bistro across from our building when he asked, "Do you have an opinion on Valentine's Day? It's our first as a couple and I'm not sure how you want to handle it."

"It's a rough day for both of us, but it's also the anniversary of the day we met. Let's celebrate each other and try to create new good memories for the day and put the horrible memories in the past, where they belong?"

I couldn't gauge his reaction. I knew that he was bringing it up because he didn't want to upset me by assuming I didn't want to celebrate it.

"Well, he said, "Let's create new memories then. I'd like to still visit Erin's grave."

"Of course, me too."

***

Valentine's Day came and we had reservations at a nice restaurant in the city and hotel reservations for overnight. My parents didn't say anything, but I know they were glad we wouldn't be on the road. The residual pain was still there, even though the accident was a fluke.

Before dinner, my parents met us at Sam's house to pick up Emma. I was, as usual, late getting ready and Sam was keeping everyone company as I finished dressing.

When I walked down the stairs, I almost fell down the last two steps. Sam and Emma were each on one knee.

I started crying even before he spoke seeing the sight and then the tears in my parents' eyes as they stood back watching.