All Comments on 'BJ Bet'

Another great story and really liked your take on it. I read the original awhile ago and think this was better, keep them coming

Nice job. I thoroughly enjoyed your version.

Nice take. Not very realistic, but I’m one of the few who doesn’t need realistic in their stories.

Good read!

...dialogue. Some of the best, most natural sounding dialogue I've read here. And I don't view Henry as necessarily "aggressive" but merely taking action immediately. If the douchebags wanted to risk it, they could have "gone all in" and pressed charges, but Henry bluffed them out of it. They didn't know what pressing charges would ultimately cost them. Well played.

Over the top on every level. At least the author achieved the 'aggressive' goal!

The fact the husband went ballistic was not unbelievable. His wife having a gambling addiction seemed plausible. You are doing well when I make only this small complaint. You use the word "to" when you need the word "too" far too often. "at the risk of sounding way to eager" is wrong. Careful editing would correct that, providing the editor knew when to use each word.

A solid 5 star story. keep writing.

Loved the story! You did a great job developing the dynamics and the it the progression was believable. I liked how he never showed the videos to the husbands as that would have been an asshole thing to do. Brilliant to have at least one wife admit and move forward in her life. Overall, simply well done... 5*

That was Awesome! I like to read about BTB stories of cheaters. Rarely do I agree with the reconciliation, but this was the perfect ending and beginning.

"I didn't think she would actually do it," - If she wouldn't actually do it, why did your husbands have to hold him back? They should have told their husbands to let him go.

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Hell, I'd keep Mary and Allison on the line rather than expose them! They seem like fun!

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He's obviously not going to take her back, but IF he were going to, she would have to give up ALL gambling, going to Gamblers' Anonymous if need be, and dropping ALL of those "friends" permanently.

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If you feel strongly that you MUST honor a bet that you lose, then you don't bet what you can't afford to lose. What if he bet their house? Would she agree to sell it so that he could give his half to the winner?

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I know that the Police don't necessarily accompany ambulances, but if the EMT's suspect that the injuries aren't completely accidental, don't they call the Police?

Pretty nice story, dude. BG33 has always been good about people writing alternative versions to his stories, so you'll prolly be okay. Now, take the plunge and write your own original plot. I look forward to it. Randi.

I was just looking at BigGuy's story. I have to say that this has a TON of copying, right down to the ending. The only differences were his getting free and interrupting (NOT stopping!) the BJ, and the hook-up with Mary and Alison. Oh, and his offering to pay off the bet that BigGuy had.

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For what it's worth, BigGuy is generous with letting people use his stories, though, IMHO, this one copies too much.

I enjoyed this story.

I loved you first story and was afraid you were a one off. You proved with this one to me that you’re for real. Well written and your stories are believable without plot holes that you could float an ocean liner through. Reconciliation was deservedl in this situation once she acknowledged her addiction and behavior. A new favorite author for me, please write more! 5*

Great remake.

Both the stories you wrote an alternate for gave me the same itch they gave you.

I love your perspective and really appreciate both of your works.

When faced with ridiculously over the top shitty behavior, I really don't believe most men would start naval gazing impotently.

Your men respond in something of a more realistic manner.

In real life, the success ratio could definitely vary but I don't see most men sucking up the disrespect and humiliation.

Good work!

Still trying to decide if Harry is a Twerp or a Putz. All that pain and misery at cost of all those desiderata when there are and were alternative responses. I guess settle for "Putz," fewer letters.

But the story IS well told!

And this is just as good. Ethically, he made a mistake by having sex with the other wives, but revenge is a powerful motivation. I appreciate the rage he felt when he punched Mark and tipped over the cabinet and I'm surprised he didn't trash some cars outside. Gambling addiction is powerful and underappreciated by those who have not seen it or other forms of addiction in action. Good job!

I hope Bigguy33 agrees that this is a 5* effort.

I don't know whether to thank you from the bottom of my heart for fixing Biguy33's usual pile of very well written stinking shit or be pissed about the reconciliation. I think the original bothered me enough I'm going to thank you for writing this. Up to the point he walked out of the house he trashed, this may be the best LW alternate ending ever. Five stars. Now if you could do the same for "Of All People"...

I didn't like that he remarried her. That was the same ending as the original story and I didn't like it there either. Cathy made a bad decision and you have to live with your decisions. She never (or the story never) convinces me she's really sorry about her decision and going forward, how could he trust her not to make another bad decision? I will say this - BigGuy33 writes a good story. He too frequently RAAC's his main character. This story was an example. But you could have chosen a couple of his stories that were much, much worse examples of RAAC to rewrite.

I am seeing some really stupid comments from the critics. The obiously do not understand gambling addiction and reforming from it. If some one lets a loved one go because of the addiction and acknowledges it and after the addicted reforms reconciliation happens. Do the critics not recall the writters words of the husband about addiction? Silly ass critics.

its been to long since i read 33' version so wont compare th 2. as a stand alone i enjoyed the read though. could have used a proof read, was some obvious errors that a proof read would have caught. dont be lazy

Like the original better, think in it the husband was the victim all through the story. In this one he was originally the victim but after became more of an asshole than Mark having sex with the two wives. It doesn’t make it clear whether or no he confessed what he did to his wife that he had sex with the two other wives or not. Would she have wanted him back after that. She never gave a blowjob as in the original just suck his dick fo a few seconds not the same at all in my opinion. His over reaction sexually was not warranted.

I have this 4 stars because the author is clearly talented, but honestly I feel i should have given it 3 because this is an erotic story site and this is not an erotic story. There were sexual situations, but no good sex scenes. They were like the primetime network tv versions of sex scenes. This story just isn't hot, which is what people come to Litorotica for. That said, the story was plotted well, except for the tacked on reconciliation at the end. I would love to see what this author could do if they actually tried to write something hot.

Somehow the story sounds familiar to me. I think I've read something like this before. Either way, your story is interesting and peppered with really good dialogue. And, the end fits! They deserve a second chance. Let more hear from you!

You wrote it well enough that I have to give you credit.

I have a problem... he didn't whoop the other three's ass

Thanks to (?) those who took the time to comment. I confess to not knowing all the time when to use ‘to’ or ‘too’. I will look it up to learn the proper times two use to or too (See what I did there?). I do feel pretty good that that is your biggest complaint. (Although I found an extra ‘I’ and a missing apostrophe just now).

Those that think this may not be realistic. I have an honest, serious suggestion, go to a bar where cops hang out and offer to buy them a pitcher if they will tell you some stories. Better yet, try to get with a retired police officer and offer to buy him a few beers. I guarantee that afterward you will believe that this is not only realistic (unless he worked in Mayberry), but not nearly one of the best stories you will hear. The retired guy will have been on the job longer and will have more stories to tell. If you do this, consider ahead of time if you want to hear about murders, domestic violence, car accidents, dead bodies (suicide, or natural death discovered days later), assaults, etc. I promise it will be one of the most entertaining nights of your year, and you will realize that this story could very well happen. Police have taken a beating in our society lately, the majority of people have no idea what they deal with.

About police response. Police may respond for several reasons: always for a request, wether from the homeowner or the ambulance personnel, or if they are in the area and available and think they may be able to help (CPR etc), or If there is a reason to believe the amb personnel is at risk. In the situation of this story, cops would not respond unless requested. If the amb pers. gets there and everyone is saying it was an accident, cops don’t show up. If it is a possible domestic violence situation (the victim is related to one of the women or is in a dating relationship with someone there, then they (amb pers) may request police presence. In this case, Larry could have signed complaints for criminal mischief, or Mark for assault. I decided that they didn’t want too (?).

As far as wether this is a rewrite or expansion, ummm...whatever.

Again, thanks for commenting!!!

I enjoyed the story

I'm not really a vengeful guy and I think that comes across in my writing. Walk away with dignity is more my style. They say write what you know, well, that's what I know.

Kitty, I apologize for not having responded. I've been having ongoing technical and email issues, though I haven't been as dedicated to resolving them as I should be. I am happy and humbled whenever someone wants to build on my stories, and I am always happy to grant permission. Thank you for taking a turn at my storyline. I look forward to your next effort. 😁

A good story. And oddly enough, the ending did fit nicely into it.

You did a great job with someone and their addiction, I actually wouldnt have minded a bit more length to the story, and THAT is something I can rarely say is the case.

And yes I too have a hutch with a top and bottom and I hope to never have to drop the top on anyone.

A lot of the alternative stories don’t turn out that great but this was really well done.

I preferred this version to the original by far. Mostly the additional balls of the M.C. played better for me, along with very well written dialogue.

Particularly intriguing was his maneuvering the two married women friends into sex for the promise to consider keeping Cathy, which at the time he had no intention to do.

The down side of this tale for me was the reconciliation. Had the BJ occurred without the hubby being held down, at THE DIRECTION of Cathy, maybe a case for that could be made. As in, she was drinking, got carried away & did it, and only later hubby finds out. BUT, that would not be consistent with the original story and I think the author was obligated to stay close to the plot line. My brain can't process taking her back, after what has to be one of the most ultimate betrayals: physically forcing her husband to watch her such another man off, to pay a "poker bet" at game between so called friends? Having had the chance to consider the gravity of the moment? I could never take her back... NEVER.

But that's just me & does not stop me from appreciating a well written story that I enjoyed, up until the end, that is. Still: 5*s for a worthy effort.

Other than screwing a couple of wives and destroying more marriages it was nothing.

In some ways better than the original but in others about the same. The confrontation at the BJ is definitely much better. The dialogue, beating and bluffing at beginning is definitely better. Some néw twists with the other wives doing him. Still kept his nice guy persona since didn’t out the wives. I view it as a compliment to Bigguy33 that you took his original and gave it your twist / vision! Worth the reading time. Yes I did give it a 5, it was a debate in my head between 4 or 5.

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading.

I'm usually not a fan of reconciliation endings, but Cathy was truly remorseful for what she'd done and Henry got his revenge against all the assholes. I much preferred your version to Bigguy33's original.

"I never understood those people whose spouse cheats, but they intend to follow the sanctity of marriage rules"

You would've got 5* just for that sentence alone, but the rest deserved it too. Well done!

Well written, thanks.

I really like what you added to the story without losing the original author's intent. Great job with smacking Mark down and exposing the other poker players for what they were. The divorce forced Cath to really look at herself and she what she had become. Getting the help she needed, and allow her to reconcile with Henry. You did good, now with FTDS gone, there are hundreds of other stories to properly finish.

the original. She didn't get that what she was doing was hurtful, the rest of them still seemed to expect the pay off and it was never addressed in either story about the ease with which she signaled the other men to hold her husband back. The flow was too relaxed to believe it was the first time or even a one time. Didn't rate this one, didn't want to lower your score but couldn't give it a very high star value.

You are a wonderful writer . Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Please keep the stories coming! This was a well done take on the original. Thank you for sharing with us.

Enjoyable story! But Slick Willie told us that BJs are not sex. I guess there are people running loose that believe him.

5

Well plotted and written. Thanks for sharing.

if wife has an addiction, there's a built in excuse. Husband has addiction, there no reason for him to try and blame anything else on his cheating ways....hummmmm

I never read the original but this was OK, sadly there were far too many holes for me, making the whole thing far too pat and unbelievable.

The plot was good and Henry's reaction understandable but then it appeared to drift into btb happyland. Mark the asshole got what he deserved but I can't believe seven other people would just stand and watch while one man attacked another and start to destroy their property. Next he says he'll claim to have walked into an orgy and they all cower away like he's holding a gun. As far as I see it's his word against eight others, who's likely to be believed? Besides where are the bruises to his ribs from the blows he claims to have taken?

Then we have the other two women happy not to just help out but act like complete sluts just to save somebody else marriage, even going a step further and fucking the guy because his own wife is as stupid as they are. Now with his plan in motion he calls a meeting where he systematically destroys everybody else and again they all just sit there and take it.

So on to the end and he goes against everything he's done so far and remarries her and everyone lives happily. What were all the others doing, why did nobody think of getting some sort of revenge, be it physical or financial, this guy ripped their lives apart, Mark is scarred for life and not one of them did a thing. Yes they deserved it but not very realistic, especially with the American compensation climate and their love of guns I find this the biggest hole of all.

A lot of negative points but I did actually enjoy the story, well written and fun, just a shame everything fell so perfectly into place making it easy for Henry to do everything he planned.

I like your version (4 stars), but I like BigGuy33 's original better (5 stars). In your version, the violence at the game was over the top (in the original, the lack of violence was poignant), and his manipulation of Alison and Mary cost him his moral high ground and changed the nature of Henry's character in a negative way.

I do like your writing, so.please continue to write.

Keep writing. I like your dialogue.

Liked it and hope to red more from you in future. Nice reconciliation at the end.

i'm not sure i can remember the last RAAC i gave a 5* to. nice job.

If the problem was she gambled away the house and the family fortune you might have a point. The problem was she sucked another guy's cock so you don't have a point.

A great job, putting a satisfying ending on an old classic story that had always left me feeling dissatisfied. Keep 'em coming. 5 🌟.

Excellent! I hope you will keep writing as I like your style. *5* In a good story like this I sometimes find myself wanting a reconciliation.....dumb girl does something dumb for a dumb reason but is otherwise portrayed as a good person.

Please write fast!

1 star for allowing the cheater back.

Good ending, better than BigGuy33s tale.

5/5 for an excellent effort even if it is a RAAC in the end.

Good job, well done story.

Happy new year!

Thanks for sharing your stories. Both were enjoyable to read... & not simply because of the 'just desserts' for the baddies. They both had creative elements and interesting perspectives.

Your protagonists have a strong moral sense of right and wrong. If you'd like to read an all-time classic with a similar resolute hubby, try 'a boilerplate rendering' by the unoriginalist.

Excellent story. Very thoughtful with powerful logic. Five stars. Keep up the good work.

Reread this and confirmed my initial reaction. He's only a wimpy cuckold. She's going to do something like that again. He should just start cleaning cum out of her pussy.

This may be the only RAAC story that I can respect.

I'm not much on reconciliation. Actually I'm very much a BTB guy. But I thoroughly enjoyed your take on this story and didn't have a problem with them getting back together. Thanks for sharing.

BigGuy's story is one of my favorites. I get that you thought Henry needed to pound on Mark. Fucking Alison and Mary didn't contribute in my opinion. The big meeting was your best contribution. And I glad Henry didn't pass out the envelopes.

I agree with Randi, write something original. I'd like to read it.

As this story progressed I found that there wasn't a single person who I could identify with or have the slightest respect for. Why would anyone in his/her right mind write about such a weird group of people. This should be listed under science fiction because hopefully there really isn't a place inhabited with such people on this planet. I always thought that authors would write about their fantasies - places, people and situations that they would want to be part of themselves if their fantasylands came to happen. Can this author actually want to live in this place, with these people and want to be part of what they do? I hope not. 2*

If the original is one of your favorites, post your wife’s cell number on here and your dreams can come true.

At the time I was thinking "Wow talk about an overreaction" but as the story progressed I realized he showed the tip of the iceberg. All of the people involved turned out to be grade A assholes with the exception of Mary and Alison. When all marriages dissolved he made his point and was proven justified.

I'd say Cathy is a bad bet. Get on blossoms.com and find himself a girl who will treat him like a king. Move on.

Great writing. Certainly a better ending than Biguy33. There is something seriously wrong with that guy.

I read this story when it first came out and liked it. After reading Izzy's Choice I returned to the writers story page and re-read B J Bet. I don't recall if I commented then but I see a lot of talent and just wanted to encourage the writer to continue. Thank You. 5 stars.

Turns out he is just a cuck anyway. If he took her back, why the fuss over the BJ in first place?

That was like one of those youtube thumbnails that fools you. All the story says he wasn't a simping cuck and then a quick twist in the end and he is like my woman is a saint cause she told me so.

I don't normally enjoy stories of reconciliation where the cheater doesn't face extensive consequences. However having had experience with addiction and the "stinkin thinkin" that results I can certainly see how Henry and Cathy could and should reunite. Your writing flows well and does not take away from the overall theme. Very well done.

Read it again. You were doing so good though I'm wondering if Biguy33 was regretting letting you write an alternate ending given it was making him look bad...and then you reconciled them. Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Up to that point, it was a GREAT story. Why you want to be that way?

Good job, especially for your 2nd story, honour satisfied, after all it was just a BJ... RAAC can work without the injured party coming off as a wuss.

Mostly your technical writing is fine, but watch your 'there', 'they're' and 'their'; I caught one. I've mentioned Grammarly, not sure if that works with Apple but https://hemingwayapp.com/ should as it's browser based.

Thanks

Good story. I think he went over the top with the two ladies and planning on revenge. Glad he didn't do it as they really didn't deserve that treatment. I can see reconciliation as she was mentally unstable from her addiction. It wasn't sex for recreation or because she liked Mark. It was a bet and she lost. I like the divorce and then the dating part. Time to see if they both haven't changed to the point of no return. I would, however, ask for a STD test and show her my results. Who knows who has what by then.

A shame you didn't change the RAAC ending, he should have moved on instead.

Reaching the same end point makes this alternate take pointless, I would suggest doing a rewrite to fix that.

I came here for porn but I actually found a great story.

A terrific tale. Not just about a marriage that goes off the rails. And not just about gambling addiction (or any other addictions). But about how snide dynamics of a testosterone-heavy coed group can pressure or coerce spouses or participants to veer from their usual values. A really well-thought out short-story per modern marriage mutability.

I read and enjoyed Bigguy33's original story, but found this version better. The character development was better, and the reconciliation (with the added therapy for addiction) was more believable.

Addiction is a powerful and relentless adversary. Cathy will be at risk to relapse and/or develop another addiction for the rest of her life. If she is serious about her recovery, I have no problem with the reconciliation under two conditions: 1) She passes a polygraph that confirms she had no episodes of adultery. 2) She signs a prenup that gives him everything in the event of additional infidelity or recurrence of addiction.

Decent story

Be nice if someone wrote a story where the man has some form of self respect.

Almost a good story, then it was ruined.

Another very good one and I wish there was a way to give it 4.5* but with 3 of your stories completed in the last 3 hours, I hope your get busy and add a bunch of new stories. I keep reflecting on your February Sucks version - I haven't completed a story yet but 45 minutes ago I completed the outline of another February Sucks version. No similarities but it was your story that started the wheels turning so thanks!

4 stars for the RAAC... I can't think of kissing my WIFE after watching her suck off another guy!!! He is a CUCK...

Interesting twist on the original story. Loved it.

taking her back? Larry, Brian, and Paul only getting divorced? this was the wors story i have read and that is saying something.

I was all set to praise Kilty11 for her more proactive MC; but she is infected by the RAAC virus. Smarter, more in depth story, but....

The original premise is stupid. A gambling addiction leads to sitting in the dark, eviction, and homelessness. A wife who would cover a $50/100/500 bet with a blowjob isn't an addict. She's a slut. EOM

Rereading your story as Lit has really sucked lately. I'm generally a BTB but I could see this reconciliation. Notice I don't call it a RAAC. Both are better off with each other. Hope you have some new stories in the pipeline. LW is in dire need of some good stories.

What a letdown

Hey that’s wonderful Cathy is pregnant with a boy but pray tell who’s the father. Oh come on someone had to say it lol.

Yours is much better than the other story.

BG33,

If only your main characters walked away with dignity.

I could only give it 4 *s after the reconciliation. Sometimes reconciliations might be warranted, but with this one, for me, it ruined the story.

I am ok with them getting back together as in dating but the re marriage came too fast. Also she said she hadn't spoke to the guys since two weeks after? What was that about. Was it the big confrontation or something else?

Written mechanically well. If you did this without an editor, you probably don't need one.

Story was well done for a long whole, but the ending spoiled it. Not a credible reconciliation, makes it a RAAC.

For example, she was not even remorseful until AFTER the divorce.

That's the kind of shit you remember, and are never ever friends with those people after, let alone dating or remarrying.

Think of it -- he blamed Allison for not speaking up. But his Ex actually started doing a BJ on the other guy. A reconciliation later is out of character for him.

"Good" reconciliations I love. This wasn't one.

Good job. I like BigGuy's original, and never considered it incomplete or that it needed to be improved or rewritten. So, I was put off your story at first.

Now I can accept it and enjoy it. I'm glad Henry put the envelopes back in his bag; handing them out would have ruined his character and the story.

Gave this a 5! I think it is your best story thus far. I hope you can top it.

Much preferred this to the original, although the original was caused a huge emotional response at the husband's helplessness.

Redo of BigGuy's story. I really don't like the RAAC ending.

This ending sucked. Absolutely no reason to take the bitch back, and certainly re- marry her. She had the other men there hold him, so he couldn’t interfere with the blowjob. That alone would have gotten them thrown in jail. What is it with you people, who absolutely have no spine? 1 star, cause it sucked!

I really liked this version of the story and thought it was a perfect ending. Her reason for cheating was based on her gambling addiction and nothing to do with sex or emotional attachment. Well done.

Once I suspended the disbelief that any normal wife would bet a bj, the rest of the story was enjoyable. Good writing, grammar.

Uh no. He took a proven bad investment back.