A Town Without Honor Ch. 01

He shrugged. "She was behaving badly as far back as three months ago, flirting with Fred more than she should, especially in public and at a couple of parties. He was all over her, and she wasn't shutting him down. When you went on that west coast trip, word got around that she'd spent much of that time with him, at your house. It was rumor, but pretty damning, and I should have said something then.

"There was a lot of gossip going around. How you and his wife were kept in the dark is still difficult to understand. I expected to see it end long before this."

He took a deep breath. "God damn, I was such an idiot. I let some well-meaning jerkoffs talk me out of saying something. On your trip to China, they were blatant. He missed almost every day at work, and they went out to dinner together, twice. Fuckin' holding hands, even. Jean asked me what was going on, and I told her my suspicions and what I'd heard. She tore me a new asshole. You know she's not from here, doesn't have the same distorted loyalties as the rest of this bunch."

He looked up at me, and I saw tears in his eyes. "I'm so ashamed, Honor. I am. Ashamed for the whole fucking town. You did right by me, better than right. Gave me a job when I needed one. Promoted me twice, despite the fact I have no education to speak of."

I nodded at him. "You earned them both, Uncle Jimmy. You're smarter than most of those college trained kids, and dependable. I have no fault with your work. I never have."

He shook his head. "I can read between the lines, Honor. No fault with my work. Plenty of fault with my job as a man. I let you down, and I'm sorry." He held his head in his hands, "Damn it, man! You're putting my kid through college. Hell, you put two of the little bastards through every year. Your own damn secretary, and she didn't clue you in. How the hell am I supposed to tell my son that his schooling is through, because I and every other dipshit in this town have no honor?"

"Don't tell Stephen anything. He didn't do anything wrong. His scholarship is still good, fully funded from day one. He can complete his degree. I'm sure he'll be a fine engineer."

Uncle Jimmy wiped his eyes. "I... well... that's all I wanted to say. You do what you have to. Fuck the rest of them. I'm sorry I didn't do what's right, and I'll always regret it. You deserve so much better."

"Thank you," I told him. I meant it.

He got up, then stood for a second. "Honor, I've known you a long time. I've never in my life heard you utter a lie, not even a little white one. I heard what you said to Emma. Don't start lying now, even if it's to yourself. You know that woman loves you. Always has and always will. Whatever caused her to pull this shit, it wasn't for lack of love. You know that."

I glared at him angrily. "Is that all?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry to intrude on your dinner. I hope someday you can forgive me. I pray that before then, you can find a way to forgive her, for your own sake."

For some reason, the fries were no longer all that tempting.

* * *

It was difficult to get out of the truck and walk up to the front door. In some ways, Mom had hurt me even worse than Beth. We had always been so close. We could talk about anything. And yet, she had betrayed me, covering for my cheating wife. What happened to blood being thicker than water? I didn't know how to forgive that. Not sure I could, or that I wanted to.

I rang the doorbell and waited. After a minute or so, Mom answered the door.

"Why'd you ring the bell?"

"I wanted to come in and talk," I explained, waiting for her invitation in.

She stared at me sadly. "You're always welcome in this home. It's your home as well. You know that."

"Not any longer. Not after this."

She looked angry. "Are you coming in, or are you going to stand there all day?"

I turned and left. "We'll do this some other time."

Mom ran after me, grabbing my arm. "No. We'll do this now!"

I pulled my arm away. "Mrs. Nolan, you no longer have the right to tell me what I am or am not going to do. I need you to understand that. When you can be civil, we can talk."

"Why are you acting like this, Honor? This isn't you. You're better than this."

"I'm not acting. I'm sick to death over her, you, and everyone else in this God-forsaken town. I just want to finish things up and move on, away from this piss-hole and the scum inhabiting it."

I walked to my truck, and she ran in front of me, blocking my way. "Your children. Don't you want to see your children?"

"Of course I do. I will. If you or anyone else tries to hold them hostage, I'll burn this fucking house down, and everybody in it. This whole fucking town if I have to."

She stared at me in shock. "Why are you so angry?"

"Why am I angry?" I was ready to burst. "You have the fucking gall to ask me that? My wife is a cheating slut, my best friend is fucking her, my mother is covering her tracks, as is my charming sister. The whole God-damned company knew and is siding with her. Why the fuck could I possibly be angry!"

"Stop, baby. You don't want your kids to see you like this. There's more to it than that; you know it. Come in, please. We need to talk. You have to give her a chance."

"I don't have to do shit." I turned and headed back to the house. "I'll listen. Then you will. I'll visit with the kids. That's all."

She was walking beside me. "Try to be calm, please. No shouting. Beth is a mess. The kids are upset. Let's not make this any worse than it is."

I laughed. "Of course not. Hard to make it worse, isn't it?"

Ten feet inside the door, little Marie came running up to me. I scooped her up, and hugged her. Billy was toddling over, walking and crawling. He still didn't have the walking thing down very good. I scooped him up in my other arm, holding my kids. At least I hoped they were mine.

"Daddy!" Marie squealed. "Mommy's sad. You have to fix it."

That had been my job for as long as she could remember. Anything went bad, Daddy fixed it. I wasn't sure I could fix this one, or if I even wanted to. I'd just disappear if it wasn't for the two children I was holding.

"I'll see what I can do, Precious."

She gave me a kiss. "When can we go home?"

"Soon. Daddy has things he has to do, but you, Billy and Mommy can go home soon."

"You, too, Daddy. You, too. No more travel," she insisted.

I didn't give her an answer. I couldn't. She wouldn't understand. I know I sure as hell didn't. I put them down, and saw Beth standing nervously nearby. When the kids were on the floor, she walked over to me, but I held my hand out, stopping her. "You wanted to talk. I'll listen. That's all."

She nodded, and my mother interrupted. "Over dinner. I made my roast."

I had anticipated that. A bribe. Her roast was my favorite. "I already ate."

Peggy stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Well that's perfect! Didn't anyone think to tell him about dinner?"

Mom turned red. "Why don't we go in the living room? Peg, can you feed the kids?"

My sister sighed, the eternal martyr. "Sure. Why not? It's not like I'm family."

I sat down in the armchair, while Beth and my mother sat on the couch. I pulled the folded papers out of my back pocket, and straightened them, placing them beside me. "I'm listening."

Beth looked at me, then at Mom. Mom nodded to her. Already prepping her, I'm sure.

"I have no excuse, Honor. None. I've been an idiot. You have to know I love you more than anything in the world, and it's killing me what I've done to us. Fred means nothing to me, and Dale even less."

I sat stoically, not responding, waiting to hear what excuse she'd use, despite claiming to have none.

"Three times. I was with him three times. The last one was a mistake. It was never meant to happen, I was ending it. I still can't explain why I let it happen that last time. After our discussion, I couldn't keep doing it. The first time was when you went to California. The second time was this last trip. I didn't want you to go. I was afraid of what might happen if you did. I begged you to send him instead. Remember?"

"Is that it?" I asked.

She kept looking around nervously, as if someone would take over for her. "I... I wasn't thinking straight. I don't love him; I don't even like him very much. He wanted me, and kept hounding me, pursuing me. He told me that you were screwing around, but I didn't believe him. I never did, I swear. I knew you wouldn't. He was always complimenting me, touching me, always pushing the boundaries. I don't know why I finally gave in. It was like it wasn't even me doing it. It was stupid. I was lonely for you, missing you, and he stepped in."

I waited patiently.

"What are you going to do?" she whined plaintively. "I'll never do anything like that again. I swear, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. We can get past this. I know you love me. I love you more than anything. We'll be fine, won't we?"

I shrugged. "I'll be fine, eventually. I don't know about you. I have one question. Are the kids mine?"

She stared at me in shock. "How could you ask that? Of course they are!"

"I'm going to want DNA proof. Take care of that this week." I turned to my mother. "What do you have to say about your role in this?"

She looked stunned. "What role? I just want to make sure you both get through this, and can find your way to forgive each other."

I laughed. "Forgive each other? What is she supposed to forgive me for?"

"For burning your house down, to start with. For leaving her alone so much. For not confronting her when you found out."

"How long did you know, Mrs. Nolan? How long were you covering for her?"

Mom turned red. "I wasn't covering for her. I was trying to fix things."

"How long?" I snapped.

"Why does it matter? It's over and done with. She won't be doing that again."

"God Damn it! How fucking long, Judas!" I yelled.

"If you won't hold a civil tongue, you can leave my house!"

I stood and threw the papers at Beth. "Sign these. Don't make any changes. I'll call you and tell you where you can drop them off."

I faced my mother. "I detest what you've done to us. Worse than what she did. You betrayed your only son, for some cheating slut. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. Dad asked me to take care of you, so for his sake, you will continue to receive three grand a month, as long as you live. Other than that, I don't want any contact with you."

I turned and walked away. Mom yelled, "Don't you dare walk away! We're not done here!"

"I'm done with all of you. With all of this. Sign the fucking papers. Don't call; don't write. I don't want to talk to any of you."

Beth was sobbing, Mom was screaming. The kids were crying. Peggy followed me out the door. "Don't leave, Honor. Not like this. You said you were going to listen."

I didn't slow down. "I did listen. Beth told me what I knew, and gave me no reason to ever believe or trust her again. Mom wouldn't even tell me the truth. How long have you guys known?"

She didn't hesitate. "From the start. Before she even did it the first time. We told her that her behavior was unacceptable. She said it was nothing, just some flirting, teasing. She wanted to get your attention, make you jealous. We tried to stop her. We cursed her and yelled at her after she did it. She was repentant as hell, devastated, and then two months later she went and did it again, after she swore it was over."

I got in my truck, and Peggy climbed in the passenger seat. "Get out Peg. I don't want you here. You sided with her. You can stick with her. All the little deceitful betrayers can stick together."

"Of course we stuck with her. We knew going to you would be useless. The only way to fix it was fix her. Besides, everyone would take her side. Nobody likes you Honor. We love you, but Jesus, nobody can stand you most of the time. I don't see how she does it."

I turned to her. "Out. I don't need you. I don't need any of you."

She shook her head. "No. They had their say, now it's my turn."

I started the truck, and pulled out.

"Where are you going?" Peggy snapped.

"To my hotel. Away from all of you, and all of this. I suggest you get out soon, it's a long walk back."

"You always have to be such a hard-ass, Honor. You can never bend. Can't you see that's your undoing? You think you're so honorable, so good, so fair. Nobody wants to be around someone like that. Sure, they trust you, and they respect you, but most of all they fear you."

"That's ridiculous. Nobody fears me. Obviously."

"You remember cousin Robby? You fired him for smoking pot on the loading dock."

"Of course I did. Using illegal drugs at work? It's a no-brainer."

"To you it is. He's family. You could have warned him. Given him a break. You fired him."

"I didn't fire his wife. I gave him six weeks' severance. I even offered to get him into drug rehab."

"He was smoking a damn joint! That's all."

"That's enough. He knew better. He could have waited to do it at home. Not at work. I can't accept that."

"What about Trey and Lisa?"

"What about them? I didn't fire them. I probably should have."

"No. You outed them. You gave them 30 days without pay, and told them to go home and fix things with their spouses. You told them if you ever saw them even flirting in the office, you'd fire them both."

"I had to. We could get sued for allowing a workplace romance, especially between a supervisor and someone that worked for her."

"No. You could have spoken to them civilly. Warned them about their behavior. You could have told them to keep it out of the office, and let them fix their own problems in private. Instead you announced it to the world."

"I did not. I never said a word to anyone."

"You didn't say anything. Making the two of them take a month off without pay said everything."

"They shouldn't be screwing around in the first place, especially not at work. I even made up the money to them in their Christmas bonus. I guess you're always going to side with cheaters now. First them, and now the slut."

"You're right of course. You're always right, Honor. They broke the rules. They had to pay. You couldn't treat them like family, try to help them. No, you caused one divorce, and one seriously fucked up marriage."

"I didn't cause anything. I didn't fuck around. They did. They got caught. There are consequences."

"Of course there are. With you there always are. Are you surprised nobody told you about your wife? Nobody would ever side with you. They're afraid. We all have our sins, everyone except immaculate Honor. We all love Beth. She's more family than you are. She listens, she's helpful, she's always involved. She cares. You have your damn business and nothing else."

"I guess that won't be a problem anymore then, will it?"

She looked at me. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You must have heard. I don't have the business anymore. It's hers now. Hers and Fred's, and all the rest of you. I quit. She owns it. Fred gets to run it. Let them figure out how to keep it going, keeps the business flowing, keep the dollars coming in. Let them support this fucking turncoat family and everyone else in this lousy town. I'm done. All the better if nobody likes me. I don't like them."

Her voice trembled as she turned in her seat, facing me. "What did you do, Honor?"

"I told you. I quit. I'm done. I don't need this shit. I didn't love the job; I did it for you all. For her. For the family, for this whole fucking town. I gave them jobs, great jobs, paying better than anyone in the industry. The best benefits. Who else provides one hundred percent family health coverage at no cost? I put their kids through college. I gave them loans when they needed it. I bring ten million a year into this town, and they betray me. All of them. Well fuck them, and fuck you. I'm done."

"You can't do that. What are you going to do now? Who's going to keep the business going? Fred can't. You can't just walk away."

"I can and I did. According to everyone, I let the job interfere with my marriage. Like I wanted that. Well, never again. No job. No family. It's so much easier this way."

"This is stupid. You love that business, and you love Beth. You can't walk away from them."

"I never loved the business. I love inventing things, creating things. All the other shit I did because someone had to, and nobody else seemed to do it well enough. I did love Beth. Past tense. Now I hate her. Hate what she did, and what she did to us. I can walk away. I am."

"I know you're angry, Honor. I understand; I do. You need to take some time, think things over. Take a break, I don't know, take a trip or something. Get your head on straight. You can't just destroy your company out of anger. You can't walk away from the love of your life and ten years of marriage over a stupid mistake."

"I'm not destroying my company. It's still there. I just won't be wrecking my life because of it. Let somebody else do the heavy lifting for a while. I don't have to be the hard-ass anymore. I don't have to worry about payroll, and where the next job is going to come from. It's not my concern how we're going to maintain our business advantage. I won't stay up nights, sweating bullets over each project finishing on time, and doing the quality work we should. Not my problem now. Let someone else keep it going."

My sister was quiet until I pulled up in front of the hotel. "You're going to fuck all of us, because of what she did, aren't you? Not enough to punish her and Fred. You're going to destroy everybody."

"I'm not doing anything. Besides, any one of you could have stopped this, two months ago. Hell, even a week ago. But nobody likes me. Nobody cares enough to take my side. Not one single fucking person. Why should I care about any of you?"

"We're family, Honor. Your family."

"Not anymore." I opened the door. "I'm going to my room now. I don't care what you do."

"You're not going to take me home?"

"Of course not. I told you that, and you know I'm a man of my word. Get a cab, walk, call someone. I don't care. You mean less than nothing to me. You betrayed me like the rest of them. You destroyed my marriage as much as the cheating slut."

"We tried to save it!" she insisted loudly.

"Well, I hope you do a better job of running the company, than you did saving my marriage."

I left her standing by the truck. I didn't feel good about it, but it didn't bother me all that much either.

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