All Comments on 'YYZ'

Fun story. Strange ending.

Another excellent story. I don't know how you keep publishing so often. I guess that's why I call you the working man. And they're quality stories, not some fly-by-night flimflam. You clearly have both hemispheres of your brain working. I'm thinking that this story is worth at least $21.12. Which, obviously, is the big money.

You're clearly another Mark Twain, who famously wrote Eye of the Tiger (for the Godfather soundtrack).

Have a swollen day.

Bebop44

I Rushed to read this as soon as I saw the title.

I enjoyed it. There were a lot of good laughs in it as well as some sad so I guess a good balance. I appreciate the drama of the kidnapping, but I think I more appreciated that it wasn’t a long drawn out affair, and was quickly solved positively for Patrick. i’m lousy at literature, so I’m sure there was a good reason and the answer was left somewhere but I’m still lost as to what the ending with the red envelope for the birthday was trying to say?

The downfall of Simone didn't help the story IMO. Otherwise a good tale.

I'm tired, and a tired mind becomes a shape shifter. Everybody needs a mood lifter - this story did it for me. Nicely done little tale. The two Staceys' little girl dialogue is much too real - you must have experienced it. Agree that Simone's troubles didn't add much to the story but, hey, it's your story. Thank you and giving you a permanent wave.

Your characters are well fleshed out, and your stories are paced perfectly, like a lazy warm day in a southern small town. It makes me a bit homesick sometimes. I looked forward to a Great story here, and I wasn’t disappointed. Keep up the good work, By-Tor!!

A simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking interweaving of comedy and tragedy. One more sparkling tile fitted into the grand mosaic that is the JimBob44 world. Thank you.

I enjoyed the tale and end up enjoying most of yours. Thanks for sharing your imagination and hard work. Look forward to the next.

5* And thanks.

We have the same taste in petite women. My ex was 5' tall and in good shape. Still is after four kids. Just too bad that her teen crush got a divorce and was available in our middle age. Well, could also be that 5.5" is not 8". And yes, she did torture me with that info.

Great tail

YYZ is also the call letters for the Toronto-Pearson airport so before reading the preable I thought you might be writing a story about Canada. Four stars.

Bits and pieces of unrelated stories forced together into a mostly incoherent mess.

Any time there’s a new JimBob44 story posted I know I’m in for a treat. This one is no exception, full of interesting characters, surprising turns (including a family law court that actually has fair rulings) and a happy outcome.

It is probably wise not to point out mistakes in a JimBob44 story, because more likely than not, they were put there intentionally for his own mysterious reasons. Probably just to poke fun at all the narssistic perfectionists out there.

Looking forward to the next one.

I didn't get the envelope bit at the end, at least why it would make his blood run cold. Otherwise one of your better posts of late. Only thing missing was there were no Cajun characters this time - LOL! 4.1*

Great story, very entertaining, interesting characters. I'd like to see a follow-up/sequel....how did she deliver the birthday card?

And why isnt our hero getting lot of action with at least one of these gals?

I think that the newborn child should be named Stacy also!

5

Don't forget that Kylie was a soap opera actress before her singing career.

Lousy story weird ending and a lot missing in the middle (jaybee186)

Wow. Another good one. Perfect ending. Thank you.

Very complicated for a simple story and very hard to follow

as always entertaining thanks for sharing

Lost interest early in the story. Two stars.

Good job

Not your best as it went off in too many tangents without clarification

What's with all the fake statements in your attributions just prior to the story. It reads like something an AI editor would put together.

Process information at half speed

I figured I'd just roll the bones on this story...

JimBob, was going to call you out on that opening paragraph but you cleared it up. I was sitting there wondering "What the Hell". Funny thing is if you Google "Finnish Death Metal singer Kylie Minogue", a YouTube video comes up. That one had me scratching my head. Way to screw with everyone's head first thing.

Don't see why Simone is in the story. Just seems a bit random.

Unless you are making travel plans to Toronto, The ONLY and I mean ONLY reference to YYZ that I will allow is the greatest power trio on this God forsaken planet. Unless you are praising the greatness of the professor, may he forever rest in peace, the melodious solos of Lifeson, or the sickest bass you ever heard in your life, I will lose all respect for you.

Now, I only got a paragraph into your story, read the nonsense and had to unleash my fury. If Rush isn't mentioned in this story, you better find DeGarde in the real world because I'm coming and we are gonna have words.

🙃🤪

Okay, good boy. You are forgiven. Smooch.

The downfall of Simone was upsetting. But I was really hoping she'd run into Twyla in prison and beat her ass or something for trying to take little 'stace face'

Always an enjoyable romp. And you didn't fool any of us Rush fans.... no unstable conditions here.

Great story. This is about real people living real lives.

I like the concept of your stories and your ability to weave them, but I have a very hard time with your dialogue. I get that it's how people talk in real life, but it takes me out of the story trying to decipher what people are saying sometimes.

I like your stories. Definitely a place I've never been.

YYZ is a Rush song too. They're Canadian, which I guess explains it.

Keeps an English winter blues at bay, very enjoyable.

1 star - I could not get past the first page - what a boring, nasty story. There were no likeable characters.

The plot was good, but the writing was very poor.

Not quite sure what the thread about Simone was? Once she had the accident, and was no longer dating our hero, nothing involving her at any impact on the story.

No Rush story here.

I’m a big fan of your work. I like that your characters aren’t all ex-SEAL, computer hacker, martial arts experts with 12” equipment, or 42-24-38 redheads with green eyes. Yes, sometimes they’re depressing, but sometimes that’s the way life is. Keep up the great work!

Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

The shear arrogance of this "open ending" went a bit too far for my tastes. Also I find the long lists of references to other stories this author puts at the end of each of his stories rather annoying, and quite a bit arrogant, too. So, in spite of the fun I had reading this one, I'll vote it down to 2 stars = dislike, for the attitude. There you have it. I'm sure the author feels now totally destroyed. ;)

An excellent story written about ordinary people.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Too many wubble-u's with the speech impediment for me. Not that it isn't reality in some cases, but it was annoying to read thru. I hope that doesn't make me a linguist racist. I applaud all who stand uo to and fight their own challenges in life.

Started confused and wandered aimlessly before ending in a mess.

Loved every word. Great story. Five stars. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

I really like that the characters in your stories live, speak, wear their imperfections like (almost) real people. Well, OK, they're a little over-the-top, but I like that too, lol...

One of your best. It was heartfelt and enjoyable. You refrained from introducing too many characters this time, which helped the readers.

Clearly ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

Very enjoyable, you have a skill set, no rambling text.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

A wonderful five star slice of life tale. Thank you.

He married a woman named Twyla who was a known bitch and an obvious slut. What did he expect?

The way it was written was kinda choppy had a bit of a hard time trying to make sense in every switch betwèn scenes. This maybe an attempt by @JimBob44 to be original in writing style? Well if so, it was almost an annoying distraction in my opinion.

C) YYZ – Toronto Pearson International Airport

The code for the station in Malton, Ontario, was YZ, which is where Pearson sits today—hence YYZ.

One of the problems with trying to create a universe with limited characters that wander through multiple stories is what happened in this story. Had this been a stand alone story, the Simone subplot would have ended with Simone's accident and the related snarky exchange with the other dog walker. Her role in this story was over, but because you're reusing characters, you felt compelled to add more of her completely unrelated and unnecessary story into this one.

-

It's not just the extraneous bits either. It's also what you leave out because you fleshed out the characters in another story. To those who haven't read that story, possibly because it's in a category (like Anal) that they don't generally read, they are left wondering where they wouldn't be if you had created a new character and developed them in this story. As written, her alcoholism is little more than a sudden and convenient plot device to clear the runway for Missy.

-

In summary, this approach is detrimental, not beneficial, to this story.

-

So, my advice to you is: Focus on the story you are currently telling.

The last line must be a foreshadowing

Good story. A bit confusing at times, but good story with a good outcome. I’m glad you clarified the song YYZ by Rush! One of my favorite songs. 5 for the story

A really messy story filled with useless parts pushing the reader to skim very often. The idea under this tale could have been good, but it's been expressed in a very bad way. At the very least this tale require a good and solid editing, but the major problem is the flat and messy plot, making it appears as flat nonsense. Just a negative opinion.

I am guessing the birthday card was from Twyla. Not sure if it was from prison or if she got out somehow.

You put so much thought and work into your stories that it’s worth 4 /5 even before I read it. The characters brought strong emotions out as I thoroughly read each sentence. I wish I could write like you. Thanks for sharing.

I enjoy this author’s stories. I lived for almost a decade in southern Louisiana and a lot rings true. But I seemed to miss a couple of things in this story. It seemed like we should’ve known more about Simone before she went off the rails; I think I would’ve cared more about her, felt more relieved that she disappeared from Patrick’s and Stacey’s lives, felt less that she was an unnecessary tangent. And I have no idea why Patrick’s blood ran cold at the birthday card. His ex is in jail, isn’t she? Maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention.

Surprisingly enjoyed the stilted narrative format, suppose I appreciate the originality of it - and of course, a really good story!

A bit too rambling and repetitive. Could have used a good editing, probably could have tightened it up by a page and a half to make for a tighter more enjoyable story.

That was amazing! Another GREAT story! And the Red Envelop!!!! SEQUEL time! ex wife escapes or gets out and 'hunts' him .... This story had a couple of really good twists.

On one hand, I like the story. On the other hand, I absolutely hate drunk drivers. If you made Simone off herself with nobody dead it would have been an easy 5. As it is, 4.5 stars. Thank you for an enjoyable read.

/

One thing that really made no sense, is why is Missy saying "w" instead of "r" - and most weirdly, inconsistently (at the very least I noticed she said "bear" not "beaw").

What a rambling mess

Story was ok. But no need to have her lisp.

Really good idea for a story, to bad it felt like a bunch of different scenes with most of the story left out. What was there was good but really didn't flow smoothly and seemed incomplete.

Great, as usual!

N.B.: there isn´t even a Buenos Aires train station. There are six, for different lines!

1 star.

You started off well but then you immediately went off the rails.

By the end you've gone so far off the rails you basically had new characters in place of your old ones. You changed them so much they were not the same.

Good story but why did you have to make Simone into a stereotype why not have Patrick end up with her instead of the boo-hoo poor single mother like on every LMN movie.

Great story JB

Everybody need a mood lifter

~Spiny

Yes, I did pick up on the fact that the package in the mail box was not put there by the postman, but by someone who personally put it in the box. And the card implied it was an ex-wife that was supposed to be doing at least 20 years.

Net 3 stars. A lot to like here, so four stars for that. A bit I didn't care for that over cooked or added nothing to an otherwise fine tale. So minus 1 for those bits.

Simone was interesting, but leaving your daughter for a couple of days with an exotic "entertainer" would be a good way to lose a custody battle if the soon to be ex-wife catches wind of it. Not judging the profession, just saying.

Loved it. Your character depth is amazing. I found myself feeling very bad for Simone she was such a fun and likable character whom became a victim of her alcoholism, another statistic if you will. 5 stars for a fantastic story

Great story! I like your style. It forced me to fill in the blanks. The naysayers here have no imagination. 5 stars.

Wow sorry I tried to finish it but the writing was AWFUL

Grim terse gritty story.

So many useless characters, just plain awful people.

Enjoyed it, even tho it was a bit depressing.

Scores 4/5

Why did you have to make Missy sound like Barry Kripke?

Giving characters disorders adds to the realism in Jim Bob's stories and the realism is part of what makes him one of the best authors on this site in my opinion. So in my opinion making Missy sound wike Bawwy Kwipkey adds to the depth of the story and makes it more enjoyable.

Thank you, it was an entertaining story IMHO.

I'm going to be wondering how the birthday card from the ex-wife got there from prison. But she seems too self-centered to have any regrets.

How does Twyla know his new address? Thst's why he's scared.

Another excellent story!

In my imagination, you have a giant murder board on your wall, with post it notes of character and story names, and different-colored lengths of twine connecting them together.

Hum.

@Ghostdoggin - sorry, not with you. I'm a big fan of SciFi and fantasy, but one thing that absolutely pisses me off are weird impossible to pronounce (and remember, in a complex story) names. They just make the narrative **hard to read**. Same with Tolstoy writing half of War and Peace in bloody *French*. Thanks, dude (all the LE/SOL writers adding replicas in Spanish or other foreign languages go there too; as well as Fleur having unreadable French accent in Harry Potter books). Same with Missy's lisp. It simply made the story harder to read for no commeasurable benefit. She could have been TOLD about having lisp, without forcing the readers to stumble through it for most of the dialog non stop.

A story worthy of skimming

"Injunction" seems like such a grown-up word for Stace-Face to say.

Uh, really disjointed story. I couldn't related to any theme. I assume that he divorced his wife because she lost a step and didn't pay enough attention to him? Then had a brief fling with a stripper???? Sorry, this story sucked.

Great story.

Feeling bad about Simone. She deserved better.

Patrick is going to have some best happy birthday(s) till he is forty. Then Stacy (? Two of them) can go to college!!

5

I have to admit, this story was hard to read. I know you were trying to convey different language skills, but some of it seemed so childish and made the story worse. Good effort though.

What happened? The hero didn't get the big titted teenager with daddy issues, as it's usual from this author. I don't think there's a need to change a successful formula, Jim Bob!

You amaze me keeping so many people organized.

This was bit much to read but a very interesting style for this particular story. Too bad the dancer didn't work out she loved and appreciated the MC but our man found a young pretty woman he apparently loved and his daughter loved her to. Very unique style but an enjoyable story.

Aw, hail yeah. By comparison, even tame Texas stories make 'The Naked City' look like '50s family entertainment. Git 'em JB.

The Rush referance " shape shifter mood lifter" from the song Vital Signs, and On the same album Moving Pictures comes the instrumental "YYZ". YYZ are the airport call letters for Toronto's Pearson International Airport. I am a big fan of your writings. Keep them coming. Thanks sir!