All Comments on 'Yellow Submarine'

Good story, well told if not a trifle formula. (I always wonder even marvel how authors can tell the same story without following the same old wheel ruts.) Very sad ending, we build our own prisons failing to realize we have the keys.

Hi, HDK, very good take on the theme and love how she ended it. It left me sad for the wasted years but was glad to see she took the doc’s advice. Thanks for participating in the challenge. 5*.

No. Didn't work for me.

Definitely not your best.

That's certainly one way to prove her love and set him free. LOL

pretty good and left me wanting more.

subtle in how I perceived the wife as naive and arrogant enough to go along with the cruise plans only to be revealed as something much worse during the counseling. she turned out to be two-faced and/or evil.

Not sure that's what Beckwith meant by set him free... but that ending really begs a follow up or epilogue to wrap up the relationship and her sessions with Beckwith.

HDK, it was great to see another Beatles theme story, it has been awhile.

Another good one HDK. I always enjoy your stories.

…you're a liar, a slut AND a rather poor driver." Well that’s just the icing on the cake - the last straw! I’m still chuckling over that one. Classic HDK drama with a serving of snark on the side. A treat. Thanks very much

: 5 for you! Good work!

Wow, that was a surprising and original ending for a very good story. Well done.

Always good to see an HDK story. 5 stars from me. I love good snark.

Hooked

Sad.

Thanks for sharing...

Still missing that humor of yours! however, it was a very good example of a unselfish redemption.

Haha you got em with the ole switcheroo

Went nowhere and page 2 was completely redundant. Someone that plans to cheat for 25 years is a never changes spots case. Other than uncessarily drag the story out, page 2 served but shown what the readers knew already.

Beyond stupid, just really, really awful in every aspect.

Dan is such a wimpy little bitch ugh... her accident had nothing to do with him. He should've minded the business that pays him and let her parent's nurse her back to health.. didn't it occur to him at how easily she can lie to him? Didn't he wonder just how many different cocks she's had in their 20yr marriage?. The way she kept lying about being a faithful wife made me wonder if she can look him in the eyes and lie without flinching, how long has she been able to lie with a straight face?. Was Dan actually thinking of taking her back? He shouldn't of wanted any parts of her near him.. she's a walking STD panel for goodness sake. She's sleeping with strange men without a condom. Catching something from her should've terrified him. Instead he let his dick do all of his thinking for him.. one little blow job and he was actually considering taking the cum dumpster back... those 20yrs didn't mean shit to her.. she's been cheating throughout that relationship, he needs to be doing a DNA test on his daughter.. I would've questioned everything this cum guzzler has told me over the year's.. I would verify and assume everything she's told me was nothing but lies.. her therapist 2as right. She didn't live Dan. She wanted to be able to go out get treated Ike the worthless cum dump that she is and have Dan, a nice guy to eat her sore pussy after getting fucked by multiple men on the side.. she absolutely didn't love him. Has never loved him and is only with him for comfort and convenience and possibly a meal ticket. She never should've gotten married. She need to stay single and just be a slut. That way she won't risk passing diseases off to unsuspecting victims. Setting him free didn't prove her love for him🙄🙄. She just knew there was no way she would've been able to explain getting her back blown out. I thought Dan was a little bitch🤷🏾‍♀️. I wouldn't want anyone back I saw fucking multiple strangers on a cruise. I would be disgusted. But then again I'm not a man. So that's probably why I'm more disgusted than Dan. I had an ex who couldn't keep it in his pants if his life depended on it. After the 3nd time catching him. I no longer have a shit who he was fucking. As long as he wasn't trying yo fuck me. He started noticing I was no longer getting upset when he didn't come home, I didn't lose my shit when he brought a girl to our apartment. I was totally indifferent to him. The funny thing is, my indifference told him I was cheating (his word). Cheater's always assume just because their ecum, everyone else is too. He used to follow me to my mom's house to make sure I wasn't meeting a man. He'd pop up at my mom's house pretending he came to get me. It was obvious what he was doing. Add to the fact that the thought of him touching me literally would trigger my gag reflex, the thought made me want to projectile vomit... he disgusted me. I didn't feel anything for him at all. I'm not wasting my time, feelings and emotions on someone who doesn't deserve it. I sure as fuck wasnt letting him anywhere between my legs.. I was good good. He didn't like using condoms and the fear that he might bring me home something was strong... I wouldn't even fuck him with a condom. I literally had no feelings for him whatsoever. I dumped that loser. To say he was piss would be an understatement. I was confused. He obviously didn't want to be with me, so why the anger?. According to him, I was supposed to wait for him to get it all out of his systerm (his words).. not enough love in the world would've made me do that.. I'm not desperate, I know my worth.. I've figured it out over the year's. I was the nice sweet girlfriend that kept a clean house, cooked his food. I was his backup. I'm NOBODY'S damn backup plan. He really thought I would never leave him because I loved him so much🤭😂.. can you say delusional🙄.. I was just trying to secure another damn apartment fool. He was pissed I didn't just stay home while he got his dick wet. Well, karma hit him right in the ass.. he's currently doing 30yrs in prison due to one of his little sluts🤭.. I saw one of the sluts once a few year's ago. She had a baby that looked just like my ex. Karma has hit her too. She's a single mother and was catching the bus to the welfare office🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.. I just love that bitch karma.

Not for me. The writer first claimed the wife loved her husband but it turnd out she has been a cheating bitch all their married life she never loved her husband why pretend? And now she can fuck as many people as she wants as a fucked up single skank bitch. Along with her other single bitch friends who i guess have been fucking around on thier husbands as well.

Oh HDK, you little devil; cute story, but I'm confused about one thing. I know that you're hung up on Beatles' lyrics but why was this "Yellow Submarine". 5*

A sick puppy. I would bet other sickos will say she did him a favor.

Did not like this one at all.

I kinda hated it. Good story and all but what horrible people. Thanks.

Well written but despicable cast of characters (the wives) made the story itself unlikable. IMO

A good concept, but, it went south after the husbands found out. Even though the end was so bad, I still gave it a 3 for the concept.

I enjoyed the overall storyline but the back half became too narrative driven, so I began to lose interest. 4.3*

Not your best

Did not see that ending coming.

All Angie needed to do was explain her proclivities with needing dominant men in her sexual lifestyle, thus granting her husband the decency and respect she should have had for him.

Making him watch her showed how little love she actually had for him.

Ahh! The Martian Slut Ray strikes again. 4 stars

5 Big Blazing Stars, for a great story about a team of cheating sluts, all the way from college. Finally misted 25 years later and all divorced! Buster2U

Very well done. Clever end cheater gains conscience and turns him free. 5!

5* effort. “…and a rather poor driver.” So now I’m trying to clean all the coffee I spit out on my keyboard! Thanks for that!

CWG

Doesn't work for me. She could have set him free without the hurtful theatrics four stars, pushing three.

JPB

Truly sad.

Ed

I'm sorry,, but not one of your better ones.

What shit. thats a 1 only because i can't vote -10

Oh..

After 25 years of marriage in a short span of time after the cruise she finally her true self she was in college -- a 304. It's going to be the cats in the future. At least for a few more years now she along with her divorced friends will some fun again just like they had in college.

Just the fact he would think about taking her back is discussing!

Fantastic story HDK. I loved how you finally got Dan's head out of his ass.

HDK has finally "cum out of the CUCK closet"! Once and for all, your readers now have indisputable evidence of your "cheating WHORE wife Apologist / Cuck agenda!

Damn that one hurts but a great read...well done HDK 5*

That was just ridiculous. HDK is not the same writer

"It seems they made a pact way back then that they'd get together in 25 years for a week of casual sex with men who were not their husbands, or boyfriends." - I know this is fiction, suspension of disbelief and all that, but 25 years later NONE of them decided that this wasn't a good idea?

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"He deserved to be rewarded." - Why? He didn't do anything, LOL.

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She cheated. He obviously knows about it, what's the use in denying it now?

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"he should have some consideration for her twenty years of being a faithful loving wife before she slipped just one time" - Except that "slip" was PLANNED 25 years ago.

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Interesting that for all of her protestations, this wasn't even her first "slip."

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Kind of a cruel way to "set him free." Better would have simply stopped her attempts to seduce him, and just let the divorce take its course.

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Whatever SLIM justification she might have had for her 25-year "fling," went out the window with the revelation of her prior affairs.

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Five big stars.

I’m trying to imagine the circumstances under which I would provide care for my soon to be ex-wife, after she had fucked 5 other men on a cruise just months before….. Nope!! I can’t think of any… BRB

It’s a HDK, and a very good story, but I didn’t like the ending. That damned bitch didn’t deserve her happy ending.

This one was pretty twisty. It left me wondering what path everyone's taking down the current road.

All the wives were obviously a bit deranged but Angie was remarkably so.

I have to wonder about her method of setting her husband free.

Planting another knife in his back does bring her love for him into serious question.

Well written, the ending had a great twist. But Angie was one fucked up cheating slut.

Thanks for writing.

:)

Mr Cooksey wrote:

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"…you're a liar, a slut AND a rather poor driver." Well that’s just the icing on the cake - the last straw! I’m still chuckling over that one."

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Yeah, I loved that last bit, too.

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A story headed for reconciliation, and then Mr Knight does a quick 180. That, at least, is somewhat different.

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All LW stories require some suspension of disbelief, but it's pretty much over-the-top to think that five sorority sisters, who've all had separate lives, would really get together for a five-day fuckfest cruise. There's also the problem that the husbands were totally clueless beforehand; did none of them know what kind of lives their wives had led back in college, and have suspicions when the girls got back together for a romantic cruise without their husbands?

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And how convenient to have a private eye on vacation on the same cruise?

That definitely wasn’t love but it was definitely a fantastic tale 👍

Damns HDK, that was a wicked change of direction. Kudos! Thanks for writing!

Wow. Totally disliked the FMC. Lack of any repercussions, lack of any hope at the end. Completely unenjoyable. 2*. Won't give it a 1 because it's competently written.

Terrible..a complete waste of time. Your ending sucks

Interesting ending, a twisted love, but true love nonetheless.

Ouch.

you dissed randi by mailing this one in

Did not work. I would think catching her would set him free regardless, so her doing it really meant nothing.

Well written, but…..

A good story but it relied on waaaaay to many coincidences.

Would have been nice to know how the other wives turned out, not just Angie, there were 5 marriages there

She learned a truth about herself, unexpected...

Good story but 4 stars because it stretched credibility at the end.

I'm not happy with this ending. I feel like it was a quick ending. If you wanted it to end like this then you could have had her injuries show up with the hard sex and maybe she breaks her leg. At least Dan gets the happy ending that way.

Ending was bad. She didn't have to hurt him that badly a 2nd time.

Seemed to be a rushed and odd ending. Why would the husband ever take her back and why would you suddenly make him weak and wishy washy? To top that off, suddenly we find out wife was a full blown and had been for years. You made her a worse character but then also made hubby a foolish and clueless cuck too. Nope.

Well written story, although the category of loving wives is a stretch!

I never had HDK pegged as a wannabe cuck and given how spineless a character the MC is I'm baffled as to why he threw his toys out of the pram when he caught his wife doing what he had all but given her the green light to do. What difference did one more boyfriend make after the number she'd already had and he had pretty much sanctioned?

3 stars, and even that because the daughter wasn't a cheating cheerleader like most LW cuck loving garbage "stories". But the fact that she (1) got away with repeated cheating with literally zero downside to her; (2) the wimpy willingness to reconcile on part of the husband - and (3) even more wimpy deciding to take care of the garbage dump "wife", made the story barely readable, never mind enjoyable. The heel turn in the end made sure it wasn't 1-star RAAC, but was hardly believable given her prior behavior and personality, so it didn't save the story.

He should have requested a hall pass as a condition of their getting back together. With her permission. And her witnessing it at some point. And since she had at least 5 men, well do the math

Not up to your usual standards.

I didn't even rate this one...sorry, I'm actually sorry I read it. Reminds me of my ditch licking wife and her girlfriends... that bitch had a bad connection in her brain...

Sorry but I think all of these stories fell short.. Most felt promising but the ending just fell off but I guess thats probably intended

Interesting story!

5

The plot was ok, but the discovery of the real purpose of the cruise was too big of a stretch. Everything after his wife’s car accident went downhill. His decision to act as caretaker for his wife was too foolish for any moderately intelligent person. Unless the wife had been tested for stds and possibly worse, he was risking his own life for someone who loved him only as security blanket. This one is too implausible and gets a 3.

I thank those who took the time to read this story, as well as those who read it at some point in the future. I do this for fun and I very much enjoy the comments. I am fascinated by things readers find plausible and things that they do not. Plausible: Lover gets his nuts crushed. Husband owns house and manages to keep any of its value from wife in divorce. Husband finds younger woman with bigger tits after divorce, has kids and is very happy. Cheating wife suffers and is miserable the rest of her life. Husband sues her company and gets millions. Wife tells husband she is going on a date. Married man dates wife and gets angry when the husband tells his wife. Wife just wants a bigger cock. Husband hides money offshore because she deserves none of it. The plausible list goes on. An irrational, mentally disturbed wife is not plausible. Again, thanks for reading and commenting. It's the reason I post this stuff.

Very interesting story, I like the way you wrote about the discovery and the confrontation. I didn’t like the fast ending. 4*

Well developed story, very sad for the husband character, but that’s life real or as in this case fiction.

Okay, not exactly the end I was expecting but that makes it even better. 5 stars.

fine form sir. wicked humor. made me laugh.

Who are you and what have you done with harddaysknight?

This was pretty bad.

I get the impression that randi invited HDK to participate in this ‘Take it on the run’ thingy but the poor guy forgot all about it or maybe had a bad case of writer’s block so he either dug something up from the rubbish pile or dashed this off in the five minutes before the deadline.

To say this is below par for this author is an understatement.

Really quite good! Interesting premise. Vowing to cheat at a specific date in the future, no matter the state of their marriages. Yeah, there's coincidence, but then, if not for coincidence, Lit. would have folded twenty years ago. Nice twist to the resolution.

Been a long time fan, HDK. Keep 'em coming. 5!

Well your story certainly showed that the wife was a complete slut. Although meant as a "twist" at stories end, it didn't make me like the story. Instead of being slightly misguided, she turned into a psychopathic bitch. It just left me feeling cold instead of entertained by the story.

I’ve never even set foot on a sailboat, but I think that when a sailor wants to change direction, he or she changes tack (not tact).

Started out promising, ended up disappointing. Everything from the accident on is a waste and does nothing for the story.

I u

I usually like HDK stories, but this one didn’t do much for me. It read like a book report assignment that you’d been given two weeks to complete, but procrastinated and threw something together in two days.

Ugh, now she sees herself as a martyr of some type. he was stupid to try and help her out, worthless, selfish cunt. He's lucky she chased him off.

The story was okay but I agree with the others the ending was contrived. So Dana realizes she can't keep her legs closed, so kills the marriage by screwing some guy so hubby can find them,,? That was cruelty, not setting him free simply by agreeing to the divorce.

HDK, I'm sorry mate, but this isn't your best work. I have to agree with a couple of the comments before me. This feels a bit rushed and by the numbers. The ending also feels, well, stupid. Angie didn't want to set hubby free. She wanted to show him once and for all that he would never be good enough. Just sign the damn divorce papers and keep some self respect. Also, the timeline feels off. Dan was home from work earlier than usual. Was stuntcock supposed to keep pounding Angie for a couple of hours till he got home on the usual time?

Was a good story but the ending was not one of your better ones.

I liked the ending, it was quite original. Was it a selfish or selfless act? Certainly a lot of material for future therapy sessions!

I didn't like the rhythm of the story though. It felt rushed overall.

to Anonymous

re: Dan is such a wimpy little bitch ugh...-

its no wonder he cheated on you...you never stop running your mouth

I agree with Tumbleweed. No one is going to take care of a cheating slut after what happened. Her admission at the end that it wasn't an isolated event put her in a class of women that are only stupid and narcissistic enough to exist in LW stories on this site. Hell, the fact that he even agreed to take care of her after the wreck makes him only stupid and spineless enough to exist in LW stories on this site.

Why do so many authors make characters that are terminally stupid like that?

I dunno, I also loved the lady dog for a long time, lived through a lot of disrespect and smirking, and eventually after 34 years, I got weary and decided that it was time to start out fresh.

And I have been blessed beyond belief, since shortly after 1 December 2011, believe me! I am living!

Otherwise a wonderful story, thank you.

Good story. I liked the surprise ending. It leaves you to think did she really do it to set him free, or see just could not help herself. If she did it to set him free she could have just told him she understood how he felt and let the divorce go through. She really didn't love him to do that on purpose to him a 2nd time.

A true modern feminist!

She heard the door open and close, then she heard some commotion in the other room.

She thought to herself "i'm such a brave and strong person to set my husband free with the only way he will ever understand, me getting fucked in our bed".

Suddenly the door opened and she felt a liquid fall upon them. The stench of chemicals filled the air. Suddenly she realised what the stench was, GASOLINE! She yelled and tried to get up but it was too little too late as a blinding hot pain rushed over their skins.

The guy fucking her was howling in pain rolling on the floor and she soon joined him. He saw Dan laughing at them, enjoying their flaming torture. He saw him pick up the jerry can and pouring more gasoline all over them and the ground around them.

She realised this is how she dies, these are her final moments. She tried begging through the pain for help. "Please Dan! Help me! I'm sorry! It hurts! Please Dan, i'm begging you help me!"

Dan laughed, left the room, came back with a baseball bat and proceeded to break both their knees and ankles so that they wouldn't be able to flee.

The pain was excruciating and the last things he heard before she passed out in pain was his laughter, him telling her "I fucking hate you, you flaming whore" and then more hate filled laughter.

The explosion that took place 40 minutes later covered the evidence of the live cremation that took place.

With the money from the insurance policies he set out to exact revenge on the rest of the whores that sought it out.

Really novel premise. DOnt think Ive seen a cheating pact story before. After so many years Angie finally figures out she doesnt love her husband, that sucks. He wasted all that time on her

It's not that the story is bad. but the wife's reasoning and her whole psychology doesn't seem to be really well developed.

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If we assume that the wife is psychologically Disturbed and isn't capable of actual romantic love and commitment Then there's no reason for the reader to give a s*** what happens to her.

However if we assume that the wife has taken the words and warning of the therapist to Heart and she now realizes that she has a flawed personality and is incapable of being a committed faithful wife. Well OK… but to decides to intentionally fuck another man in order to let her husband come home and see it…. that is just an exceptional amount of mental cruelty of the highest order.

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And what's worse is that the wife doesn't suffer at all. Kind of needs a sequel.

Why is it impossible to vote zero stars?