All Comments on 'Wedding Psychosis'

AWESOME!!!

Traditore = traitor

Fascino = charm

Attraente = attractive

- and "Blind-them & Rob-them" are trademarks for a trustable legal firm!

5*

I like the premise, and the negotiations sequence was fun.

This is a short story, though, so the point of view bounces were giving me whiplash. I highly recommend, if you want to include so many perspectives, writing something fuller, longer, and slower paced (in places) so that we can benefit from them. Many of the perspective changes here don’t add anything to our understanding of the plot or characters. Getting inside a character’s head is all about enriching the audience’s access to the details of their experiences and emotional responses. You can’t enrich at a run, though, so the number of characters we experience firsthand should be appropriate for the length of the story (here, two would have sufficed).

This story could have been called "Cheating Actually." Fascinating plot. It was difficult to follow as there are so many characters - but the character development was concise, which kept the story moving well.

Thanks for the entertaining ride!

But there are problems with the plot and the writing is a bit clunky. Nevertheless, it was a fun read, and I gave it high marks.

"What do you call a hundred lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?"

"Not enough sand."

A really great story with a glorious bit of revenge on the cheaters. The story was a bit short for that many characters and PoV switches, but it came together nicely at the end.

I liked the story, but it was somewhat hard to follow, jumping from viewpoint to viewpoint. Overall pretty good!

Nice.....this story made my day.

Good story. Could this actually happen in real life. lol

As one said I did get character whiplash the way it moved so fast after a point, on first read. But it is a damn good story. I didn't actually pay attention to the names used but after seeing SKHP's comment, I almost fell in the floor laughing.

@ SKHP did you have line for Heather Cummins :)

That story opening of Heathers, lord, that is so true. As Pink Floyd sang 'Put another Brick in the Wall'.

Have good day and happy writings.

Amazing how something so sentimental can lead to such destruction. She forgot how seflessly her husband supported her for so long. Another aspect that is, of course prevalent in the workplace is the predatory mentality people have, bothh men and women. I guess when you spend so much time with your colleagues (more than with your spouse and family), it is easy to take the next step, especially if someone keeps making overtures. And it is only a matter of time before the spouse figures out something or the other. Work can sometimes be such a necessary evil. I thought this was a very well thought out plot and thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you.

Easy to see this happening these days. When Americans have a Commander in Cheat as president, the rest of the nation follows into moral decay.

I usually don't enjoy stories with POV changes, but this was well executed. The first half of the story developed at a perfect pace. My only criticism was that it seemed unrealistic with how neatly everything was wrapped up. The good guys win huge and the villains get burned to the ground. Real life seldom works out that way.

That was a wild ride - it was entertaining despite being completely implausible. Thank you for posting.

Well done better than any presented today. Thank you

Should have been a little longer, but it was very good. Thanks for the effort

It took a little while to get the players straight, but once that was done, it was a lot of fun. Really good story, and you managed to bring it all together to a good ending. Can't top a bunch of lawyers for good times. Appreciate the story.

I have to congratulate moreandmore for coming up with a fairly original twist to the revenge on cheaters concept. It's doubtful that kind of filing sleight of hand would ever work, never mind why the lawyers would even sign the paperwork, but it was handled well enough and was just plausible enough to work in a LW story.

So I give this a thumbs up for showing me something I hadn't seen before.

Great fun, People seem to get upset here with unbelievable plots, etc. It is fiction and this is so delightfully outrageous it is worth the ride.

A fun story, even if a bit over the top. I think "TheUnoriginalist" offered some good advice, but this was still fun to read. You burned them so thoroughly that I even started to feel a bit sorry for Jillian towards the end, but I quickly got over it. She earned her comeuppance; maybe she'll be a good person from here on out.

Well done. Thanks for posting.

Excuse me but I rhought that were was certain lack of ethics in their payback plan!

Jillian really knows what she wants and reaches her goal.

perhaps it's just another one of my slow mornings. :p Enjoyed the story though! And ever a fan. Thanks for sharing!

Talis

Clever revenge. Very well fleshed out characters for how short the story was.

NSeq.

I too started to comment it was a little hard to sort the characters out. Then I realized I really do need my Pre-Digital Brain back!

https://www.brainhq.com/media/news/digital-technology-re-wiring-your-brain

This was quite a story and normally with so many characters, such stories become difficult to follow. In this case, m&m did a good job in writing to make the personnel easy to follow. It was a creative way to both catch the "bad guys" and have the "good guys" come out on top. Good creativity and writing - keep up the good work.

Tiny Tim

Obviously some Martian Slut Ray prompting an otherwise loyal loving wife to turn into a complete slut without conscience or morals, for a wedding ceremony. Marry in haste, divorce in leisure. Always surprises me how authors use the premise that you can marry a bunny rabbit and wake up one morning years later married to a wart hog. There's usually a few clues and symptoms that the other spouse has to ignore for the cheaters to get away with it.

Really liked how you turned their sick joke against them, even if its probably not possible. Not very much about this story was believable, but it was a fun read.

Reminds me of the story of the blind bunny rabbit and the blind snake, who met and became friends, since they could not see what the other was. One day the bunny rabbit asked the snake to feel him and see if he could tell what kind of animal he was. The snake felt all over the bunny rabbit and said, "Well, you've got soft fur, and two large ears, and a little twitchy nose, and a soft fluffy cotton tail. I think you're a Bunny Rabbit." The rabbit said that sounded correct to him. The snake then asked for the same favor from the rabbit. "Well, you have slick scaly skin, little biddy eyes, a forked tongue, and you have no balls. I think you're a lawyer."

Great premise. Even lawyers like lawyer jokes (unless it is too close to their own homes.) The PoV shifts coulda (IMHO) been managed better by adding a narrator to set up each shift by reminding We-The-Readers of each character’s role in the tale (one-three sentences) while letting WTRs know the rest of that section would be a new PoV. Still awkward, but no need for those of us among the Eeyore crowd to go back for a reminder!

Yeah, it was too pat at the ending, except that Enrico got the kindness of no longer knowing how far he had fallen! Maybe for the better, so he does’t get a shot at revenge.

4.3 = 4*

A brilliant BTB story! Worked out like a jigsaw puzzle! Don't look down on a paralegal even if you are a lawyer! It could be a very expensive lesson!

Thank you for the great tale and levity. I truly did lmao.

This was one enjoyable and entertaining story. Lots of chuckles and very imaginative. I think everyone enjoys a story when lawyers lose. I don't know if this is a parody, a farce or a satire BUT it is good.

Thank you for one heck of a story.

Unusual and entertaining story.

Top ratings from me.

This is one of the top 5 stories ever. Right up there with The Odyssey, I'm telling you!

Still good, made better by lawyers burning lawyers.

Decent story.It always nice to see an arsehole like Enrico taken down.

I didn't make it through the first page.

coupled with penury trying to regain your feet. TK U MLJ LV NV

Despicable cheating slut, asshole predator getting their just deserts. You can only hope that Enrico is experiencing "Locked in Syndrome"

Liked it,something a bit different for revenge.It is always nice when two arrogant and nasty people get their comeuppance.

I needed a play book to keep the players straight. A bit too complicated for my challenged intellect.

Yep, I see I had the same observations as my prior comments. I am glad (kinda) to see that my main suggestion was explicitly what turned later commenters off, ... at least one to not continue reading this otherwise good tale. Are there any bad tales where Shyster Shark1 gets gutted by Shyster Shark2 ... whose tail was earlier scarred by SS1? ... I think not! As a bonus, two Senior SSs were relieved of some ill-gotten gain!

still a 4*

Almost always it was a mistake I am cheating slut but love you!!!

Can't love someone and treat them like that!!!!

jtwheels

Loved the last paragraph. Thanks for a great read.

Did not read all comments. What happen to the five year old CHILD (boy)???

LOVE. Slap*hapy*papy #9

I liked the multiple POVs, as I enjoy seeing the same story from different perspectives. Again, I love to read about lawyers destroying their own.

5stars. Wow! Great story. Left me wanting more. Beautifully done.

I'm not trying to defend Jillian, but why not give her the wedding/renewing of vows? Every girl wants the nice big wedding. They could afford it.

"The lights are on, but nobody is home." Well, I don't really like violence, but in this case I hope there is enough awareness in his body to regret for the rest of his life.

With PETA clamoring for animal rights; medical researchers are planning to use lawyers as test subjects for three reasons. One is that there is an overabundant supply of lawyers. The second is that nobody ever gets attached to a lawyer. The third reason is that they are ideal for research into AIDS transmission because everybody knows a lawyer will fuck anybody up the ass for a dollar.

This little tale took so many turns and squiggles that I was usually lost on the WWWWY&H's!

Can't say I feel sorry for any of them, it's a 4star at best because ........

.....

A sad tale were it anyone but lawyers, in this case it was fantastic!

Interesting and unusual

WAY too many narrators, I had to keep looking back to keep the characters straight, gave up before the end of the first page.

O what tangled web we weave. Intricately planned and expertly executed. Both the story and the writing. KUDOS

As for the commenters that got lost... read carefully...slow down and enjoy.

I enjoyed the story, once I got past the opening bit. That was a rough read and I almost gave up before I got through it.

Interesting and complex.

A lot of wattage into a compact story.

Not sure if that was all legal, but it was good fun to read. BTB on legal pads. And it was a double! Why don’t sharks eat lawyers? Professional curtesy.

I love convoluted, imaginative revenge plots, and this was all that. Great story.

Intricate and brutal. Seems crazy that Jillian would go full slut with Enrico in just six weeks. Short time to go psychotic about being a sex slave to a guy with a small set of equipment. Surprised Heather never git in the dig on Jillian about she became a skut for her date rapist. Loved the legal drama. Go big or go home. Daario used the law to melt them and burn their law firm. Harsh attack on Enrico to end up as a vegetable. Wonder who that to was. Doesn't seem like Carter's style. 5 blazing stars.

Good story. But who’s Mario? “Mario dug the knife in "We're the guests here today. Why don't you two go snuggle in another office? We're not going anywhere, yet."

Wow. Maximal but complex burn.

Very complex and intricate story which I had to back scroll a few times to try and work things out. But it was very good and enjoyable too. A BTB x2 in a very imaginative plot. Not entirely are convinced of the legality or if lawyers are as stupid as these two. But maybe. Anyway good story. BardnotBard

LOL, Good. Last line about her wedding picture, LOL