All Comments on 'The Wall'

English not your first language? Usage is poor. there's a lack of structure and paragraphs. Sentences don't make a story and makes this very difficult to follow.

this is a nice outline for a tale but it's not at a point it should be published.

Correct. The tale was written originally in italian, my mother Language, and the structure, the Language were set to fit the italian linguistic fees.

I had doubts about translating it: the feel of the story can't be transposed from a Language to another without adapting the tale in the Whole, and your comment confirm my doubts.

For those who can read both languages, I've sent the original italian tale for publishing too, which doesn't mean I take for given the story is Worth itself.

Thank you for the comment.

Ah the Anonymous critic. Hiding like the legendary troll under the bridge, harsh judgement without context, criticism thrown as spite without a hint of constructive support. As a translation from another language I thought this was a well thought out fantasy, describing a shared moment of passion. As an author writing for the first time in a second language, I felt this was great and look forward to your further efforts.

Advice to Anonymous: don't try reading poetry, because you wouldn't understand it. Real literature often uses language to create an atmosphere without making everything explicit or stating each stage in chronological order.