All Comments on 'The Gift'

Good story!

5

Well Damn. Well you warned us in advance

Horrible story about horrible people, I'm glad I don't live near twats like this.

Tough stuff. I was thinking Manny’s ‘gift’ would be a wake up instead of a final trigger. A compelling cautionary tale with a thoroughly depressing conclusion. Still liked it. Very effective. Thanks very much.

The only thing that is a permanent one time gift.

Harsh but well written

Normally I wouldn’t comment on a tale I give a Good Read ⭐⭐⭐ rating. However, I believe you are going to receive a bunch of I hate it comments. I believe that because of the suicide in the tale. Having been a member of a family who has been touched by suicide and having many friends who have killed themselves, it is very personal for me.

I am not down on your tale. It is your tale and you told it in a good manner with full imagery you created down to the hanging. To me that is your ability to produce the tales you do. That is a good thing. This tale is no different.

While the emotional journey you created for me was a negative one and a positive one. It was not because of your tale. It was my journey through life that made the negative impact. I can deal with that.

What I want to say about your tale was good is that it addresses the impact others have on those with trails in their lives and how easy it can be to tip their journey in a negative path. While I hope that people enjoy your tales, even ones like this, I would like to think readers would look at it as just what it is a tale written by a good writer. Then I hope they pause and think about how they might be able to help someone instead of pushing them over the edge as is done in this tale.

These are just my thoughts on your fictitious tale and not a ding on your creative ability. Thanks for writing this one which for me created a reflection moment. Not what I thought I would have as a subject to reflect upon this morning. But it was not totally negative journey. I remembered the great times I had with my friends in locations and situations that people that most people would never survive. I smiled at those memories and the good times after we got out. Thank for that.

It doesn’t matter to me if you keep this comment or delete it. That is for you to decide.

I look forward to your future production for our consumption.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Did not see that coming! 4.2*

Wow!

Not related to the story but author's notes right before and after the story really spoil the flow. End with the image of the guy hanging from a noose and go right into "I write these stories for my pleasure, etc". No moment to pause and take it in, and that steals away from the weight. May be possible to do something with formatting to fix it.

Different but powerful story, you're a great storyteller.

Powerful and so sad

Well, you might not be able to use that Brandon character again. Loathsome critter anyway. thanks

Yeah, been there, seen that.

try again this time make it readable

Just WOW!!!

Never like any story that suicides anyone. Too close to the bone and a horrible idea even in a fictional story.

Your name have to read. There.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

That's one way to forestall calls for follow up Brandon stories.

.

Why is outer space a vacuum?

Ok, that was dark. I was warned and read it anyway, so that's on me. It was written really well though. Going back to read Xyla again.

The real question is are we gonna see Denise get banged by the other lads???

nice ending

Should’ve made him live. Would’ve had his stepdaughter stay home wit him so he can punish her. Could’ve used that leash on the little bitch while he pounds her doggystyle. She could’ve played hard to get until he broke down her facade. She confesses that she has had a crush on him and that’s why she’s a brat and dresses teasingly. She finally calls him daddy as she’s on the cusp of an orgasm

Wow, that was dark.

I used to like this author. He just writes wimpy shit now.

I wish i had skipped this story.

Always the high quality from you. Thanks, but , Yeah, bleak, real bleak.

Well, finally a befitting ending to an arsehole. A tad harsh... but effective. Cheers.

A lot of sad anger in the story it seemed well written just a sad feeling

Ok, I get it. “Going into his son’s room, did he have a son? Penny is mentioned as a stepdaughter. A powerful story, I am missing but and pieces but still gave 4 stars because I can over look mistakes and errors, if I get the jest of the story

Pity it wasn't xyla who died. Out of everyone here she's the only one who truly deserved to.

Good job! Fooled me!

Took the coward’s way out.

Wow, what an ending……..

Sorry know too many people who have/had addictions. Unfortunately have seen 2 hangings in my time 17& 18 year olds. Nothing in life is worth the pain that suicide brings.

Can’t rate this story……

I wonder how Manny felt after he heard the news.

I have often felt that suicide is the ultimate “ Fuck You”. Well written story with a dark storyline.

Dark theme added with scorching hot sex. Fantastic! Five stars as always. Proof what a great author you are. Thanks for sharing your work with us.

When I see such a cliched and trite title, it gets a 1. (200, according to the URL.) If the typist put so little effort into the story, how much could have been spent writing it?

Are you feeling okay, JB? I know there is usually a dark side to many of y our works but this one is especially dark and right out front with it.

I still enjoyed it.

Also, as a request, I would love to see you do a longer form story in multiple parts on a more epic scale as opposed to the recent flash stories.

Till next time!

Wow! That was dark.

Was expecting Brandon to stay sober so his ... buddies ... would never be able to have Denise.

DAMN that was dark.

Well Done.

(It would be nice to see Manny's reaction to the suicide.)

Addictions, wow....5, but an emotional 5. The perceived friend’s advice effect, the black hole of addiction, the home turmoil, living up to a gone dad’s perfection, loss of the dog, lost employment, lost driving privileges. Despite the songs we should “fear the reaper” and suicide is NOT painless.

Well, that didn’t end like I thought. So, Brandon’s final gift of love is the vision of his dead body hanging from the bannister in their home by the beloved dog’s leash. That’ll stick with you awhile.

Very dark, suicide as always is a permanent solution to temporary problems.

What the actual fuck was that???

Why is it in the LW category???

It should have been in the waste of time category.

Fuck! Not the dog!

Cold, ice cold. 5*

Manny was pretty much the only likable-ish character in xyla. Sadly, he turns into a complete asshole in this one. The shy boy that wrote poems kills a man with words, not nice.

I wouldn’t mind a xyla part2 though, I think manny needs to atone and I would like to hear about tough love, xyla style.

I can certainly identify with Brandon. I often feel the same way. Not with drinking, I often get passed over, told things just because they think it’s what I want to hear, being placated. (The comment that his wife would wear the lingerie that he bought, but never did really hits home. Suicide is no joke, but the scene at the end with the note really hits home to how I feel sometimes. I’ve also had “friends” that were obviously annoyed that I was reach out to them for help and comfort when I was feeling depressed (though nowhere near the degree and in this story).

Fuck!!!!

Really!!!!

Your idea of a good story???

I’ve read much better from you, this must be the result of something bad happening.

Scores 1/5, l hope writing it did something for you, it did nothing for me

Get a therapist

Just wow not the ending I thought of.

I'm guessing this is supposed to be his way of saying he didn't believe he could *ever* give up drinking.

"Geeze, Mom, I didn't mean for him to kill himself. It's not my fault he was screwed up."

"You know, Penny? Just fuck off, you hateful bitch."

Lack of understanding, lack of communication, lack of love, lack of empathy, guess he showed her. An Eagles song says it all: "And I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do to your soul

Aw but she can't take you any way

You don't already know how to go

And I got a peaceful easy feelin'

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standin'

On the ground"

Our poor MC didn't have a soul anymore!

Hey jimbob, some very dark stories this year. I hope YOU are doing ok.

Sad end for a hookked mman.

What a surprise ending!

Brutal. KS

You should put a warning on this one, in the beginning. KS

Very dark, he’s portrayed selfish, uncaring, no redeeming qualities.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9