All Comments on 'On Channel 12'

What a tale! Been a fan for quite a while. Man, you sure have some kind of characters. Thanks for your efforts.

But then, life tends to be that way doesn't it?

5 stars.

Even though they aren't his, this kind of shit... makes me want to cry bitch tears.

But as you say JB44, you write for your own pleasure & not us, your readers, so fair play, mate. Did nothing for me though. 2 **

Milt was a complete and utter moron.

For someone who was 2nd in his graduating class, he sure seemed to have never used his brain in his entire life. I understand not caring about his wife and not wanting the kids either once he found out that they weren't his. But how could he abandon them after so many years?

He should have made certain that they were taken care of, before running away like a little bitch. The whore didn't deserve the grave she was placed in. She should have been left to rot in the streets..

I don't feel sorry for Milt, he was an adult and should have taken care of his own life. He should not have abandoned the kids, leaving them with no food and no proper shelter.

The only losers in this tale are the 3 kids. Sierra lost her life, the other two lost their family and innocence. I don't see that there is anyway in which those 2 could ever love Milt again after he abandoned them and was partly responsible for the death of their sister. They should just use him as much as they can and leave once he has fulfilled his purpose(after getting a proper education).

Milt suffered no actual loss, Sierra's death wouldn't haunt him. He didn't even consider her to be his child.

He'll probably start a new family with Chelsea and put all the crap behind him and be happy.

The rest will move on as well.. But an innocent child lost her life because the adults in her life were all selfish pricks who should never have been allowed to breed or raise kids..

Wow , in this feast and famine world of LW ( helluva lot more famine than feast) today is a red letter day. already read 3 wonderful stories , and still have another good author to go. I hope this doesn't mean that we'll now have 40 days and 40 nights of deprivation . I hate to be a pessimist , but.............

JimBob44 , I really liked this story. Was it a typical great LW'er , well no , but it had some really great elements. I do think this may have been better served up as different chapters , but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Yes , that prick Stan needed his comeuppance , and wished the Heidi angle was a little bit more fleshed out ( I thought that you were gonna team her up with Milt actually), but so what , this story still had the "It" factor in spades. Great job ! Thank you for sharing.

5*'s

I did Not see that coming! Sad, but effective twist there at the end.

Really liked it, sad story my only issue is i felt the ending was incredibly abrupt. You're showing the aftermath, one daughter is doing better, the other is still hurt and then end. I didn't mind the amount of characters or pacing.

the criticisms you mention at the beginning of the story are all valid. I certainly support your feeling that you can write any story, any way you want. However, I feel you are missing opportunities. You are a marvelous story teller and the Bayou area is a great locale for your stories. If you could manage to control the length, number of characters, and the flow a little better, you would not only attract more readers and produce a better product, but you would find yourself enjoying the experience even more. I wouldn't want you to change your fascinating style, but sharpening and honing it would improve the entire process.

That was the question Russell Crowe roared out in 'Gladiator '. I'd be a liar if I said Jimbob44 did not accomplish that with this story. Loved the spunky daughter characters, the local TV station show insider tidbits and Milt's stream of consciousness cooking show patter.

Wish Cheryl hadn't been such a slug and ultimately a monster for a character. Another commentator was spot on mentioning why not getting paternity check ever entered Milt's mind from the get-go. Ah well. Look I loved it overall despite some pitfalls like previous one mentioned. That's the bottom line .

Jimbob44 is a taskmaster because readers shouldn't embark on his stories without bringing their A-game. I did my best to enjoy and spot the Cajun nuances that the talented author sprinkled so liberally. It was upsetting, demanding and worth five stars from me . I thank Jimbob44 for sharing.

Full marks * * * * *

I couldn't get past the TV Guide at the beginning of this. Did the story ever start, or was it all just weird programming notes?

"From 5 AM to 6 AM we air the King Frog Drivel Hour. The man dressed in a frog costume details the wacko shit our station has on the rest of the day."

the programming guide fits the viewers but only for the sponsors, TK U MLJ LV NV

This was almost unreadable. Still a decent story.

Read like a full running pachinko machine! Lots of fun.

You might get some Mothers for that super sparkly and give it a buff or two.

I wish the author had not killed Sierra's character off - that was really sad - I liked the three kids - they didn't deserve such a horrid evil mother. As for Milt, who knows? In terms of writing, HDK is correct. I like the way the dialogue was written.

The death of a child hit me too close to home. I can't be breaking down at work, so warn a brotha next time.

As a long time reader of your tales, Don't change a damn thing! Keep doing it your way on this free site. Thanks for making my day sparkly.

Thanks for sharing.

This story was very touching. It had ingredients of real world in it. Presented in a very readable way and a surprisingly powerful way. One doesn't expect to come across a story this well done in an erotic stories site. I look forward to your next on.

You always get me. Thank you.

Sad, but still a great, touching story of life.

I couldn't get through the whole thing. It was thick with vernacular. It did convey a feeling. It did convey a culture and a way of life. Shitty as it was. Like a roll in a manure pile. The only question was other than a little flavor and a matter of fact painting of Cajun-trash life - why bother?

I never like it when people try to write in a dialect. Usually it is a yankee trying to write like a southern person. Since the dialect is not native to them it always comes out mashed up.

In this case however the dialect was enjoyable to read. You did a great job on just that part.

I thought the story was great and look forward to other offerings by you. 5* all the way.

Listen to HDK. You could be interesting but at present you're not.

I'll gar-annnn-teeeeeeeee!

JB,

This is the second of your stories that had me in tears...

Good God, what a monster of mother...

Very Good Job!

5+ stars!!!

One of...the better stories I've read, I agree with author only on one thing, I lost track of characters twice throughout the story, as in the relationship to the main character. In all other aspects it was, like a short series, you managed to depict all characters pretty well, their behavioural nature and all that. The tragic death of the young Sierra truly made it a well rounded(darker) story where there might not be happily ever after but there is LIFE and that's what matters, I actually had a tear in my eye as I was finishing the read.

A strong 4*

A cross section of the best and worst in society. Loved the use of regional dialect. Hated what Cheryl did at the end.

But, yes, I was entertained.

p.s. what hdk said.

It was very sad but at the same time almost delightful. That he was taking an interest in Chelsea 's two remaining daughters and will always be there for them was very clear in the racing story. Which gal will get him is still rolling around the roulette wheel.

At first,I couldn't get past page 2, the attempt write the dialogue in dialect made it just too hard to read.

Just a couple of comments on what I DID read:

He NEVER mentioned that she already had the black eye (which SOMEONE had to have seen!) when she asked him out, so he couldn't have done it to her.

He KNOWS that he didn't have sex with her, he knows he didn't have anything to drink, so COULDN'T have been drunk enough to fuck her and not remember! And this MAY have been before DNA tests (the dates this takes place isn't made clear),but they certainly had blood tests to prove paternity. Why didn't he demand one, especially when the baby was SIX weeks "premature"! She was obviously already pregnant (probably with Stan's baby), and tricked him into the marriage.

Some comment referenced the writer saying that he can write any way he wants. While that is obviously true, and it is equally true that you can't please everyone, once you post your story on a public forum people are going to critique it.

After reading the comments about the deaths and Milt's running off my curiosity was aroused so I sort of skimmed/read to the end.

First of all, yes, Milt could've/should've been there for the kids. He wasn't the sperm donor, but he WAS their father in every meaningful way. But Cheryl really didn't give him much of a chance, and when the fat was in the fire he was there for them.

Sierra's death was tragic, but in a drama every ending can't be wrapped up in a pretty pink bow, the killing was consistent with Cheryl's descent into madness.

Complex story. The loss of the one girl hurt. Life isn't always fair or pleasant.

Keep sharing with us.

Real life at its ugliest. Another well written story by JimBob. Another five.

Sad story, you must have been on a bit of a downer when you wrote this one. OK, I only commented on the disclaimer once and will forever hold my peace on that little item. I see a few rays of sunshine for Milt, nice people do sometimes come out on top and the end of the story seemed to promise a few clear days with no clouds. Maybe you can carry Milt's character on in a later story.

Great but sad story...and I for one like them the way you do it. Just add a little more onion and little more wine.

Good story but the only bad part for me was killing the daughter. But otherwise a really good read. 5 stars

Yes, it did jump around a bit, there's a lot of people in it too .... and I loved it.

I wish the little girl hadn't died.... it wasn't nice to read but this story is a slice of life and horrible things do happen.

Stan seems to have got away with only a financial punishment ...... I guess that happens in real life too.

5* ....

Tragic. *****

Or at least do something like you did with Elise for Summer and Skye. Those girls deserve their own story, especially Summer. Also, is there any kind of way you could post some sort of chronological guide to your stories? I swear, if you ever publish these (which you should) you ought to put them all in one book called "The Chronicles of DeGarde".

This story jumped around quite a bit, but you developed some interesting or not so interesting characters. I agree with some of the commentators that for all Milt's intelligence, he seemed to be a true dunce with his wife, Cheryl. It wasn't for his love for her, but I could be persuaded to think it was for love of his children. Except for the fact he abandoned them when Cheryl dropped her bomb on him.

I enjoyed the tale and other than the fact Milt dropped his girls after Cheryl's revelation, I thought the story progressed well, if a bit confusing at some parts.

Full marks from me.

Thanks for the story and please keep writing!

Loved it after getting used to the style. Hard for a northerner to read the cajun style, :) but really liked it once I got used it. Keep writting.

going to need a little more yeah

I understand all about different writing styles, but this was very nearly just about plain incomprehensible garbage. I'm talking not about the STYLE of the writing and dialoge, here, but the abysmal execution of it all.

Without some SERIOUS editing, this is worthless.

The plot was nowhere nearly interesting enough to hold my interest well enough to force my way through the last 2 pages of this torturous word-pile.

So, in reply to your list of "Yes, ..." in the note, I offer a hearty "ugh, bleah" in response. you might have written for your own pleasure, but reading it was not a pleasure by any means.

Sigh......I can't believe you killed off Sierra. I hate you for that, would it have been that much trouble to have had her wounded? Other than that I loved the story, well, like others maybe not the bit about him abandoning the girls along with the cheating slut of a bitch. There is a huge difference between a father and a sperm donor and Milton was their father, you don't just cut that off cold just because a cheating slut of a bitch is suddenly revealed to be a cheating slut of a bitch.

Look, I gave the story five stars, but I'm not gonna lie to you, I would really appreciate you doing an alternate version where Milt sticks it to the cheating slut and her bastard lover, and none of the girls get hurt. Please, you can hurt the two cheaters all you want, but the girls, no. And like others I do want to read more about these characters, even if you don't do an alternative version. You also really need to let your readers get some satisfaction in seeing the cheating bastard lover get what's coming to him.

See it's simple! You read you head think an you get it, Yeah?... (yankee use of question mark)

Thanks you for sharin on Lit.

x

to let you know that this was really good. Really, really good.

I will add my voice to the others in saying that I would love to read more about these characters. Either as they are or later in their lives. I would love to read the romance between Milt and Chelsea and to see the story of Summer and her growing up. So much potential here with such rich characters.

I also liked that not all the characters were nice. Chelsea's father was a bit of a dick, and Milts first new lover was a lady that just wanted to bang him and leave him (not very nice). The world is full of different people and you did a good job of showing that.

Really a great read. Thank you and here's hoping for more (if you are inspired to do so) :)

Francis_Toliver

It made me cry... I really wasn't expecting that...

HDK can be a pompous , borderline blowhard in his commentaries. When he gives Jimbob44 writing tips , it's like Moe from the Three Stooges telling Jon Stewart " The Daily Show ' would have been much funnier with more eye pokes and saying nyuck, nyuck, nyuck every three minutes and trading facial slaps with idiot brothers.

HDK excels at writing 2 page farces/parables with white, mostly middle class narrators being tormented by potentially straying wives and their lusty lotharios. Jimbob44 writes about lawyers, drug dealers, deputy sheriffs, pimps, society scions on and on. As a guy with TOO many full books shelves , it's clear to me only issues of time management keep Jimbob44 from going pro novelist.

To read HDK's comment, you'd think he was Dosteyevsky. No . Just no.

I think Jim bob is by far the best dialect writer on the site, and among the top ten writers on the site as well. I've inflated th number to cover the catagories I don't read.

However, the interesting back story, the complex relationships make it a bit of a challenge for some readers.

Lots of good writers her do shorter, lighter stories with formulaic plots, and their readers score them highly. Jim Bob has a large appreciative following is a testiment to his skills.

Thank you for a great read

Chilley

Story jumped all over the place and I had to read it twice to make sense of it, but I really enjoyed it.

In a response to canopuswest: you said he shouldn't have been allowed to breed, but that was actually half the problem itself - he wasn't allowed to have his own kids, his own flesh and blood. (Perhaps he was sterile, but that's beside the point). The other half of the problem was that SHE was allowed to breed. Heck, people should need a licence to breed, honestly...

He was tricked into marriage. Hell he didn't even consciously or unconsciously have sex with his ex. It was a shotgun wedding. His own family, his mother, father and brother, didn't believe him. His in-laws thought he raped her. Heck he couldn't even protest it wasn't him who gave her the black eye, because she manipulated the situation so quickly and expertly and put a date-rape drug in the drink, because society tends to believe well-to-do women when they claim rape.

Despite all that, he married her and worked his ass off for her. As his reward, 3 times he was cheated and tricked into believing her offspring were his children. Yes, he loved them, and they loved him, but that must have been one hell of a shock. I think coming from his poor background, a blood test would have been well out of his budget, and wouldn't necessarily prove anything, as his blood type is not actually unique, unless he's an alien or blood type O.

When he found out his ex had hung the horns on him and knew what she was doing, and with some asshole who severely abused his role in society, exactly what else would you expect him to do? Justice is not just - I'm sure many of you have heard that. In order to get any recompense and justice, someone lost out, and he had to abandon the family in order to sue his ex-wife and the father/sperm-donor for compensation and marrying for fraudulent purposes. Hell, technically an annulment might be in order. The trauma of being in an abusive relationship can block everything else out and recast everything in a different light including the love of his 'daughters', whether right or wrong.

For those saying he should have foreseen his ex's daughter dying, that's just nonsense. If he stayed with his ex, his life would be a misery, and nothing is worth that. If he left but still paid, the ex probably would likely still have killed her daughter as her quality of life still dropped appreciably and the daughters resented their mother. But from a realistic point of view, he couldn't foresee it as there is the stereotype that women, even a bitch like his ex, don't tend to kill their children because of their "strong bond". Hell, that's why judges give custody even to hos and drug addicts (okay, maybe an exaggeration, but they do ignore anything they can't see and is merely hearsay when it comes to mothers). Often the children even take the mothers side and grow up with the same 'qualities' she has.

In any case, even when he didn't pay, I'm sure you guys know in real life she could go out and get a job and struggle by on welfare. And there would be nothing to stop him from reconnecting with the girls he believed were his daughters, and helping them out. Hell, they went to their next door neighbour and to his brother, and he could have secretly met them either place, and paid his brother and neighbour.

In the worst case (like when she can't pay the bills and the utilities gone off), she'd have to give her children up to Social Services, not being able to look after them and the relationship having broken down, and he'd probably be able to adopt them.

It's just a tragedy. End of.

The dialect was a little off-putting at first but got used to it and it rolled with the story. Thouroughly enjoyed it. Gave it a 5.

to anyone thinking he just abandoned his kids - his parental rights could have been easily taken away even if he didn't abandon them. Cheating wife and her asshole lover - anything could happen, and she definitely was not interested in giving him any children. It's easier to get the divorce and find ways to connect with the kids

Wife = woman (automatically favored in 'family' court)

Lover = cop (automatically favored in any court)

Husband = the sucker that pays and gets nothing for it most of the time.

Milt was not sterile.

His wife aborted two babies because he was their father.

I guess I don't speak Cajun, because I gave up after the second page. I have no clue what they were talking about.

Glad I stuck with it in spite of all the characters introduced in the first few paragraphs.

Definitely deserves more than 5*! This story sucked me in so far that I yelled at my computer when Cheryl went on her shooting spree. Then this hardened old fart almost shed a tear when Sierra passed. I also laughed several times. Dude...I'm so glad you're still writing! Keep it up!

But the story was great. Nice job, full marks 5*. I couldnt turn he page fast enough in the latter pages,, and would love to know more about many of the characters involved. Gonna have to look at your library ....

Yes, you got your 'author's note' completely wrong. I enjoyed this sad, sad story.

Yes, the dialogue was a bit hard to read for this northern geezer, but it was a part of the story and once I figured it out, it fit into the story. I find it hard to comprehend how a parent can harm their child, but I read about it all the time.

Thank you for writing an entertaining but sad story.

Canopuswest NAILED it

Milt went from downtrodden hero to be respected for what he would do for his family to an absolute scum sucking douchebag that abandoned his (Yes his, children) in a hissy fit and left them to starve and rot under the "care" of a sociopath cunt.

HE is 95% responsible for the kid's death. He went from father to lowlife piece of shit and only at the end shows a tiny bit of concern enough to come home.

I commend you for your writing ability. You did a good job making me absolutely disgusted at a fictional character in a story. However, this is the last one of yours I will ever read. You can write, but what you write is disgusting.

I found too many inconsistencies in Milt's character though. He seemed to be a smart enough fellow. So I have trouble reconciling the Milt who knew how to negotiate with cutthroat studio executives to the Milt who was at first clueless for 17 years of a loveless marriage and then left his daughters (not biological but he did love them a lot) at the mercy of an dumb, entitled, narcissistic bitch. Not thinking of his daughters' plights when he stopped paying the bills was just moronic and ultimately led him to lose his eldest. The ending was entirely too rushed with no proper closure for Stan or Heidi (who were definitely not minor characters in the story.) Great plot but definitely not one of your better ones.

You rock! Love the style and flow, don't listen to the jack offs! Perfect length too!

I'm not saying the psycho Bitch who aborted two children just because they were her husband's, who apparently LOATHED her husband, who was, generally speaking, a complete and total waste of organic matter... I'm not saying she wouldn't have if she could have...

I'm saying Milt was a great dad and loved his children and would no fucking way have left a gun around that wasn't locked up in a way that made it totally safe and wouldn't have trusted his wife enough to leave the key lying around. Not that he'd have ever thought she'd kill the children but that he wouldn't trust her to sell the gun if she could...

Now that's not to say she couldn't have stabbed her children to death or beat them to death...

I must say, I hated that you killed the daughter...

that is 1 sad tale, just wish ya din't have ta kill a daughter off, but still a bloody good read, an if l could rewrite it, would have Summer go to bathroom just before the shooting, then come out just in time to see sick bitch walk into Sierra's room with gun in hand, so Summer was able to save Sierra, then get the gun away from lard butt, saving the day.

This is one story that started out slow. I think the hardest part for me and maybe the reason it seemed to start out slow was catching onto the dialect. Once I was there it picked up. Sad part of the story was losing Sierra. This was a story you could actually visualize happening.

A very unusual unusual story; but it was one of the very best stories ever to appear on this site.

Perhaps it's main fault is that a reader's IQ has to slip into triple digits to appreciate it.

Once again one of your stories has rocked my complacent little world. In my happy little lower middle-class world, this kind of thing is incomprehensible. Sure, our neighbors split up after he took a trip down the drug road and she couldn't keep the house, but nobody got shot.

You have written a wonderfully detailed world, with a thread of pathos woven throughout that we had to be observant of in order to follow. From the moment she showed up with a black eye we knew she was serious trouble. You developed all of your characters superbly and let the situations blossom naturally so we could see their world as clearly as they could.

Thank you for writing, and I hope you will continue to do so. I enjoy reading a story that might require a three-digit I.Q. to comprehend on its' many levels.

Very very nice. One of those stories you don't want to end. More please.

Don't care about editor; doesn't jump around too much or have too many people; not too long or short; category fine; not stupid shit and well... maybe you do suck.

I don't feel better... Sierra died! Unfortunately, this happens all to often when an egg/sperm donor (I REFUSE TO CALL THEM A PARENT) won't take responsibility for their our fuckups and visit violence on their children.

This great story has fucked me up for the rest of the day... JB please keep them coming.

Smiles and tears in equal parts.

If I had a voice regarding the actions at the conclusion it would be to reverse the final roles of Sierra and Stanley. She deserved a chance for a rewarding life and he should suffer the consequences of his behaviour.

A story told well enough to make me care. I hated how Milt abandoned the girls and I hated that he left a weapon loaded with additional ammo in the house. I was absolutely sicked by Cheryl almost the entire time. Well told and believable.

thought all the tv station stuff at the start was a bit too complicated and bit irrelevant but soon turned into an interesting story.

Hilarious and poignaintly tragic. Profoundly affecting. Wow. This is my second reading, and I'm still shocked and heartbroken when Sierra is murdered. Great characters.

Real people in real situations, with real dialogue and recognizable responses to the surprising, funny, and tragic circumstances in which they find themselves. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Frank Redmont

This was a very good story until the near end and major flaw. Milt would have NEVER left a family heirloom .357 revolver loaded with extra bullets in the house with three kids and a psychotic greedy beeeeoch of an ex-wife. But Stan could have very likely left his backup gun in the night stand drawer. Stan did care about anyone but himself so leaving his gun behind leaving in a fit of rage over being served makes sense and in character. It would also add a negligence charge against Stan later in the story.

Heidi and three daughter all with names starting with 'H'. Why did Cheryl pick three names starting with 'S', or was Cheryl misspelled and was to be Sheryl in the story?

We are to assume Milt had DNA testing done to insure the court got absolute proof to back up the recording? Where was Child Services on an unfit mother?

Also what Milt did to his to-be ex-wife was OK, but to inflict this on the innocent daughters was way out of character for Milt. He/his lawyers would have notified Child Services. Even the Utility companies getting Cheryl's rants and being told children were involved should have a legal requirement to inform Child Services.

I felt JB44 rushed to end the story leaving much or to setup for a sequel; did summer ever fully recover? Did Milt find a new love? Did Milt's cookbook and TV series make him a multi-millionaire allowing him to focus all on his two girls, a new flame, and life?

Due to the last page of the story it went from a 5* to a 3*.

I need a sequel badly, that was so depressing when the oldest died. Stan is the worst human being imaginable. He started all of his this. His first born I think? She dies and he doesn't even go to her funeral. He left his three girls with that crazy woman.

For those saying Milt shouldn't have left his daughters. What could he do really? His wife ambushed him with Stan and Stan was ready to shoot Milt right there. Stan even resorted to stalking Milt. "Need you to serve some papers but it's a dangerous one. What? No, he's not a dope dealer; he's more dangerous than that. He's a cop," They were Stan's kids.

Gave it a 5, but damn that was too sad at the end.

too many people involved, jump around much like life itself. love slap hapy papy #9

Made me cry again im

Loved the language, yeah. So natural, like life, no. Giving 5 stars, yeah.

1* of course.

this is some serious shit.i really enjoyed reading this short story. wish it was a full length novel with sequels. thank you.

For the "downs": Some of the criticisms are true, though I love the dialect for the most part. But there are lots of stories with no blatant errors that I don't give a shit about.

The "Ups": There are few, if any, authors on this site that are as soul crushingly sad and spectacularly funny, often in the same damn story.

The downs are what they are, but the UPS are spectacular!

Heart warming story.

Thank you, excellent reading please continue.

You might be one of the only authors here that causes me to cry over the death of a fictional character. You do have a knack for bringing your characters to life, drawing us in and giving us some to cheer for, some to laugh with and some to despise. That is the mark of a truly talented writer.

Sweet Sierra, the wonderful, caring older sister. How could you?

And Milt was as much to blame as Cheryl. He may not have sired them, but they were his girls. Always were. And he abandoned them to starve, and ultimately what befell them.

I thought it was a terrific story right up to the horrible scenes of Cheryl murdering her daughter. Great writing, very unexpected, but a cruel ending.

Always a 5 & made me cry every time.

That's some depressing shit, just a pointless downer seemingly because the author realised that he didn't actually have much of a plot.

Would have been better if the mom had just dropped dead, I don't want to read stories about kids dying.

This Milt guy is as guilty of his daughters suffering as the mother is. That motherfucker just packed his stuff and left his KIDS with nothing, no money no food and in a house with no electricity, water or gas.

I am just soooo frustrated that the innocent daughter gotta die like that. FUCK THIS SHIT !

So well written. Never get tired of the humour and the dialogue but was tragic to have Sierra murdered in this story. Yes, Milt should never have abandoned the girls but why the fuck couldn't the disgusting cow Cheryl apply to Stan for the necessities? He was her lover and the girls' natural father and it was his responsibility to provide. Enjoyed the story, in spite of the end bit and just love the patois. 5*s.

This was a brilliant story. But, my God, the ending was just such a downer with the oldest daughter being killed. I agree with a couple of other commenters that Milt didn’t have much choice regarding the situation. Stan threatened to kill him and self-preservation is a primal instinct.

For those complaining about the dialect, it is what it is. I found it difficult to understand and follow in the first few JimBob44 stories I read, but as time went by, it became easier. There are still some jarring scene segues that I have to go over a couple of times to make sure I know what part of the story we’re in.

I can’t exactly say this is a favorite story of mine due to the tragic ending, but it’s a damn good story.

This is a really well written, all-too-real tragedy. My god, you do 'real people, real places, real situations' better than anyone else I've seen here. And damnit, you make us all feel it.

Having said that, you also need to write a cookbook; I have a great need for some of Miltxs recipes.

Working through JB44’s “back catalogue”. They all good, no, but this one, want to give it a six, me. (And I’m English!)

The end was depressing. Cheryl was obviously psychotic and that makes her more a sick person than a villain. Milt just left his girls. Everything he did to spite his wife ended up in bringing pain and death to his daughters. Not a mature man.

Yes tears laughter and Allin between

I say I enjoyed a lot but true but this is exceptional

You could have done a lot, a LOT, with this story besides killing children. No stars.

There was like 350 characters introduced, then re mentioned with no aid to reintroduce. I wont read stories that need a white board to keep track if everyone.

Why would anyone not enjoy your story?

Humor and pathos combined beautifully.

I don't really like tears

But hell with it

Keep it up

Once again, the most negative remarks come from "anonymous". This was a sad story. The kids are the heroes. The adults are flawed. Sounds a lot like real life, which is what I like about most of your stories. For me another 5* read

What happened to Mr. Bill?

Stan? What happens to Stan?

But as I have absolutely no interest in staffing a tv station, I found first page so tedious I just jumped to comments.

Milt was nothing but a coward. He abandoned his children first chance he got, and didn't give them a second thought. He didn't father them, but they were his kids nonetheless. He was the only father they knew or loved their whole lives, but as soon as he got rich, he ran. He left them to starve without a backward glance. Didn't call them, didn't ask anyone to check on them. What made his betrayal of the girls worse, was that he knew Cheryl was useless. Knew she wouldn't feed them. And he didn't care. The only heroes in this were the girls. Sierra stepped up and looked after her sisters. Fed them. Loved them. Summer used her own 12 year old body to shield her baby sister from certain death. Now that's sacrifice.

What did Milt do? Ran away and got him some pussy. Big man.