All Comments on 'My Neighbors' Wives'

Not the worst story posted tonight, but it was the longest exercise in futility by five pages. Read first page and last. If I missed anything, some one please let me know.

Nothing erotic or interesting here, just some dogs fucking out behind the barn.

Very few people into this shit, here.

Another great story, I'm hoping that there will be more from these characters. Also, welcome back, you've been missed.

Really great story. I’m glad you’re writing again

part 2 please.

ted and jeff both need to be finished being taken care of, and jay should not be allowed to walk away without any punishment.

The writer has some skill with words, but doesn't have an editor who can find where the wrong word is being used, correct incorrect verb tense, correct the sentence structure--and above all, help the writer see how utterly implausible his story line actually is. Yeah, I do know about suspension of disbelief, but one must be brainless to accept the plot for this story. Sorry, guy, you need to go back to the drawing board, find a less convoluted story you want to tell, and then go for it. Best of luck!

Or serial type story. I like how this flowed and moved. There were a couple of spelling errors, but nothing that pulled my attention away from plot. I’d love to read more from this...

This was a great story, but it ended rather abruptly. Surely you can make a running series out of this, where he strings things along until they both leave their dickless cuck husbands, move in with him, and routinely bring others home for him to play with. This was 8 pages, but it was so good, that it seems to only be getting started. I hope to see much more from our little triad.

Love all of your stories James. This one looks to be a wonderful start for a series. I hope to see more of Darren and his ladies. Hope you are doing well and keep up the great work!

I ask because there is no resolution for the two brothers. Yes, they are knowing cuckolds, but other than that, how are they going to end up? The 8 pages was kind of long for what took place, and encouraged some skimming.

Welcome back! You have been missed!

like the way your going with this, cant wait for more!!!!

Skimmed a bit bored.

The first page is so horribly stupid that I gave up. “My revenge is ... I want you to dance!!”

Soooooo much stupid.

26thNC

The six pages you missed might have redeemed the story for you. I know an eight page story can be a lot to digest, but I was hoping the combination of sex and character development would be worth your time.

A rapey fuckfest

Thank you for your honest assessment of my work.

You might want …

Thank you for the suggestion. I was contemplating putting this story in the ‘Group’, or ‘Mature’ categories. ‘Loving Wives’ can be a tough crowd.

JonDM78

Thank you. I have only a bare-bones outline of a Chapter Two so I’m not sure yet if there will be another chapter yet. Suggestions are always welcome (hint-hint).

Great

Thank you. This was a story I started three years ago and only recently got back into completing. I am doing better now and getting some things done, but unfortunately those things don’t include Life as a New Hire, or Christian College Sex Comedy yet.

Ju8streading

There may be a part two if my mind keeps focused and this story is well received enough.

Yep, the two husbands need to get what’s coming to them, but why do you think Jay needs suffer? After all, it is his attempt to make amends which set this story going.

Nonsensical

Thank you for your critique of this work. I never blame my editors for the faults in my story. The bad decisions are mine alone. I still have to think ‘brainless – ouch!’ I hope my next tale ~ which isn’t Sci-Fi/Fantasy ~ will have a less convoluted story line. I make no promises though.

Don’t_miss_me

I am undecided on whether or not this will have another chapter, or not. Sorry about the spelling errors. I’m glad you would like to read more of this. Would you like to give me any suggestions, or be surprised?

Very nice

Thank you. That was the direction I was thinking about heading … with the husbands going off the rails a bit then getting busted. The ‘others’ over to play … suggestions perhaps? I do like these characters.

TheDesirable0ne

Thank you very much! I’m doing better in that I’m writing more. As for more of Darren and his ladies – we will see. Do you have any suggestions? A Chapter Two only has the roughest of outlines.

Will there be a continuation?

I left myself some room for another installment. I sort of got carried away with the length, but the story just kept flowing when I started it three years ago. When I came back to it at the beginning of this year, I was able to fill in some of the missing spaces while keeping the same ending point … thus the eight pages. I agree. Eight is a lot to take in one sitting.

kennyboy25

Thank you. I’ve missed submitting stories. I am hoping this will not be the rarity it has become. I am writing again. Currently I’m stuck in a non-erotic mode, but I’m trying to get back to some newer ideas as well as the tales which have been waiting for some more installments for some time. I will probably be pushing out another ‘Sci-fi/Fantasy’ story if things keep going as they are … or my mind may take a radical left turn and who knows … I wish I did …

Thanks again everybody and take care,

James aka FinalStand

I didn't notice the category, just started reading because I really like your other work. When this submission popped up on my favorite writer activity screen, after such a long absence, I jumped in.

The beginning had me wondering, 'ok, where is this going?' but in short order I was snared. Good job.

As far as I am concerned, you can leave it right here, no additional text needed. That makes it fit, in my mind, into the Loving Wives category you have it in, because that is what Ashely has become to Darren.

Thanks for a very entertaining evening. 5 stars.

Honestly Im picky and skip through bits, but definitely not this series. Takes some serious skill to write smut of this quality. Great job.

I love your writings, but I also am aware that you write when you need therapy for your mental health issues. I hope you're doing better right now.

I loved the build up of this story. I agree with one of the other comments about the husbands not getting punished beyond being cuckold. Please give the guys more punishment from the women, maybe by having Darren impregnate both, or having the women move in with Darren and him sending them to prison. Anyway, thanks this was good so far

Actually after the first few pages I found this to be rather boring. Felt like I was reading a slightly changed repeat. Repeat. Repeat. ...

BEERQUACK

It is really starting to look like I’ve got to have a chapter two now. Ugh … :D

Nope

Oh well … eight pages is a lot.

Ugh

I was hoping the ‘Dance Sequence’ would highlight his infirmary – not being able to do much more than walk due to the condition of his legs. Well, I'll endeavor to do it better next time.

8 pages …

I had hoped to leave it in a good stopping point while leaving myself opportunities for future installments if this story was well-received. If that doesn’t work for you, I apologize.

kuhpa01

Thank you, Sir! This was pretty much what I was aiming for as a stand alone element while still leaving me openings for doing more with these characters.

Phenomenal read

And thank you as well! This story took quite a lot of work to complete and I’m happy you enjoyed it.

BigCuntry

You have hit upon my biggest personal problem … the muses burning out and not always relighting on certain projects. I don’t stop thinking about them but that rare translates over to new chapters. I know I’m disappointing readers when I fail to produce expected sequels and I’m doing my best to correct this.

Raiderfan1007

I’m definitely feeling a need to add more to this tale. Thank you. While I think a pregnancy for Ashley would be a bit risky at her age, she would be one hell of a mom for Mandi’s offspring, don’t you think. Or, they could adopt. I sense alimony in their futures too.

The husbands do deserve more punishment and a comeuppance is in their future, no doubt.

Grimmer

Sorry you felt that way. I tried to spice things up yet for some of my readers – failed. Hmmm … any suggestions on how I could make things less monotonous?

Thank you everyone for your feedback. Pro- and Con- it helps me work on a better story next time (I hope).

Take care everyone,

James aka FinalStand

I hope you are on the mend.

Appreciate each and every one of your stories.

They make my week better. Not just the day.

Good so far - I do hope you are planning on further instalmants soon

as the length is in numerous sex scenes that the girls at first reluctantly, then willingly enjoy. Ok, so you got them on your team. Good for you...but did you have to take 8 pages to explain that?

It's great to read another of your stories, and I'm glad that you could invest the time and effort needed to finish and publish this story. I didn't find it tedious or repetitious, on the contrary - even though the setting (and the sex) was mostly in Darren's house, there was enough character development to make it interesting. I wouldn't mind reading another installment, centered on the way the womens' personalities change and develop as the plot evolves. A pregnancy for Ashley is maybe not out of the question, given that her age is not that great, and you haven't mentioned menopause anywhere - yet. Her embracing her sexuality and sensuality is a given, I think... As for Mandi - may be a fling or two and she could realise that having "no strigs attached" casual sex ten times is less fulfilling than being once with people she has real feelings for... It's good that you have left yourself such a great ammount of freedom in shaping the characters, if you feel like you want to pursue this storyline further.

I also like that you have chosen to explore a situation where adultery is not only unavoidable, but it comes without stigma attached and the adulterers can actually be viewed as the positive characters in the story.

Keep it up, FS! I'm really glad that you are back!

I am just thrilled that to see you writing again

I am really a fan of your work

I was deployed to Africa all last year, and I would check weekly to see if you had a new story out, and was glad for the ones you did..

I hope your health is better, and that your family is well. Selfishly to be sure, i would like you to be internally compelled to write, so that we can all benefit from your mind.

Thank you for sharing with us.

Good story, thanks! I agree, I'm glad you are back too!

Patille: if all you are looking for are the sex scenes, just copy the parts you want to stroke to and read those to get yourself off. For myself, I ENJOYED the whole story.

I even think it deserves a continuation of the story, to get the two dickwad husbands/brothers riled up to the point of doing something stupid, with Darren being rear for them so they get theirs AND lose their wives to Darren. Maybe have them doing something illegal and having some blackmail rain on them besides the assault on Darren.

Take care, and thanks again! :)

Fucking awesome! Welcome back! Five fucking Stars!!

The story conflict itself is a bit thin - the two husbands don't strike me as the type who would just straight up murder a guy without confronting him about the alleged affair first. Cowards wouldn't go for the confrontation, but cowards also wouldn't have the guts to try the murder - they'd just go passive-aggressive.

Still, the personality mix is working for me. I have no idea how realistic this is, but it's hot - and plausible enough to keep me reading.

Ashley having deep-seated body issues and low self-esteem works for the story - again, who knows how realistic it is, but as a reader I can buy the premise.

Hang in there Final, now, where's the rest of this? Cause, I wanna read what's next

I loved this. Looking forward to the next installment. Pun intended.

Maybe it doesn't belong in LW, maybe it does. Either way I'm glad you put it in LW otherwise I probably wouldn't have read it. I usually don't like stories like this. It was a really hot story. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

The ending makes it seem like a chapter 2 will be coming. If that's the case then I can't wait. Would love to see what happens next!

I wouldn't mind another chapter of Mandi and Ashley. Note that they're what drew me into the story, both of them. If you're planning on a second chapter please have them both move with the mc.

It can't be finish! You really got me hooked on this story!

Glad you’re back writing!! Just read some of your older material and I love it.

Needs a part 2. This is really good. Needs a solid ending.

At least another chapter to finish it up, although I would go for 2 more

I await the finishing half of this story. It is a good one and I am so happy to see it. Take care, James.

Love your stories, mental health can be a bitch so take care of yourself

Thanks for giving this erotica connoisseur something to read.

James, it is a good thing to see you writing again, I enjoyed this story immensely. you are my favorite writer in this site, so much that I have read life as a new hire at least 10 times.. keep it up. but more important, take care of yourself. health is the biggest gift we have, so cherish it and look after yourself.

Please think of a writing a part 2!

I've been keeping an occasional eye on your bio, and was sad to see it not updated for a long while. Glad I decided to check for new stories - it's good to know that the world has not lost your remarkable writing talent.

You do erotic well, you do emotion well, you do characters well, you do action well, and you do crazy globe-spanning, mind-boggling intrigue and politics well. I've read a remarkable amount of things in my life, and your stuff has drawn me back multiple times to even the same stories.

Hope you are doing better, and that every comment helps just a little.

"Hope you are doing better, and that every comment helps just a little."

Yes, they do help. Right now I'm in another blocked phase and every bit of feedback and commentary helps break my mind loose from that icy grip. I do appreciate it.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

You know. The sound you make when a wonderful thing happens for you. Like when you finished making love for 3 hours. Or the look on your wife's face when she knows that you really appreciate all the effort she's made on the house, dinner or her appearance. Or, you read a great story that expresses it even better.

Like the sound I made for the last 2 hours... I like to read your work well and not rush it.

Sir! And I say this with great respect and appreciation. I truly enjoy all of your work. It has truly helped during some "dark" times. I humbly pray for you and your family.

Thank you again. 5 stars as always.

High praise indeed. Thank you very, very much. I don't know what else to say after reading your feedback except for what I've already said.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

There are many authors I check regularly, ones that created amazing stories and that I hope are still. You are always at the top of that list. You are fond of some themes that I am lukewarm on or don’t care for, but the quality of your writing is so superb that I don’t care that you do not cater to my specific likes, I just want to read your writing. I am amazed at your talent and imagination. Please write again, I and many many others will be delighted to 5 star your amazing product. New Hire is my favorite, but I have never been disappointed in your stories, even the one offs. I read you when I was deployed on Combat Tours, I read you back home. Recently I have been rereading much of your work, and hoping you overcome the challenges that have kept you from writing. I imagine that writing must help you in some way, else you would not be so prolific. I look forward to your future work with hope, and gleeful anticipation.

... thank you very much for your enthusiasm and kind words. Would you be interested in becoming one of my 'ne'er do wells' ~ reading and giving feedback on works which I'm about to publish? If you like, you can also read tales I've written which aren't ready for general consumption yet. I write about twice as many stories as I decide to submit and often need feedback on.

Thank you for your service and take care,

James aka FinalStand

I was very reticent about this story after the first few paragraphs. I am glad that I finished reading. I must say this one was very hot and well written. Thank you Finalstand.

I am sure some like that sort of thing.. I find it repugnant

Ouch! I suppose I should have pointed out it was a blackmail story from the get-go. Do you think that would have helped?

Thank you for your feedback and take care,

James aka FinalStand

I normally avoid non-consensual stories like the plague, but I decided to give this one a try since i like your other work. I’m so glad i did. This is one of the best stories on this site. Your character development is great. I felt like i knew the main three and that made the story so much more erotic. I eagerly await your next story.

I feel like we were left hanging and we are in half time. I would like to read how the two husbands end up. If the two ladies divorce their husbands and if one or both move in with the MC, or move on with their lives, or stay with their husbands.

Finishing the second chapter of this tale is one in a long line of stories I need to get to. I have written about a third of this tale which concludes some of the immediate issues you brought up, but the final resolution of the group is still up in limbo. I wish I had better news and some sort of time table, but I don't.

Sorry about that. Take care,

James aka FinalStand

One of the most difficult things to portray in both prose and film is to bring a reluctant character to the point of accepting the desires of the mc such that those desires become a part of the character's world view, to the point of accepting those desires as their own without breaking their spirit. It might be compared to the process of applying pressure and water and temperature over time to bend a plank to the shape of a ship's hull. Too great an increase in any variable, too little time to adjust, and the plank will crack and split. Film can use cut scenes, but prose takes time with context, reader engagement, character development, and especially a believable premise for the effort involved. It is slow going, repetitive, and, therefore, wordy. Add to that a format that favors 2-3 pages and an audience with particular expectations and the challenge is increased yet again.

This story succeeds to a great extent. The use of Mandi as a foil is very well done. Ashley comes along at a believable pace. Although the process of bending the reluctant one to the mc’s will is incomplete at the story’s end, this reader is left with the expectation that it will be successful and perhaps to the extent that the two will experience a committed, respectful love.

Very well done. Thank you very much.

LWlurker

LWlurker,

And 'thank you' for your kind analysis of my work. I was worried the transformation was too rapid. I really need to get off my ass and finish Chapter two which wrap up some loose ends and conclude this story. Ugh. I need to get my head screwed on right.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

It's way way too long.

All I can say is wow!

Watching them turn into lovers was entertaining . Thank you.

[14.10.22]

Very Complex und Erotique!

11/10!!!!!

Please finish chapter 2. Good uptill now

Dobra historia, chciałbym przeczytać ciąg dalszy.

There has to be moar dang it!!!! Lol Great story nice twists on the stereotypical storyline of the intelligent power dynamic as he dominates them, and they learn their own power against/increasing him. Now I am a bit of a weirdo the sexual parts of the stories are not usually what i most enjoy but this one, oh my. All round so well crafted, truly would like to explore more of your world wow, thanks for that.

Very enjoyable story

Great story ... would live to see the follow on with the story continuing on with the party and beyond many thx