by FinalStand
The 'lost interest and will never finish' pile. Too bad really as he is an excellent writer but doesn't seem to realize that his readers also invest in what he does and deserve to have him see it through to the end.
You have a gift, the only annoying thing is you switch to different stories so much, oh well. Update Christian college please, one of my absolute favorite stories on this site.
Didn't seem quite up to what you normally produce, but I definitely enjoyed it.
Would really enjoy some more on some of the other stories you have done like CCSC, One White Rose, The Mother I Never Knew or The Other Child.
That said, write what you want to, when you want to because I am going to keep reading and enjoying it.
Be well my friend
This has the potential to be as good as CCSC or to fall flat on its face. I say this is the one to just turn loose and see where it goes. Good, bad, or indifferent, it will improve your writing style; you'll learn what works and what doesn't work.
One piece of (hopefully constructive) criticism: the spelling and grammar are much improved, but could still stand a little work. Spelling and grammar checkers aren't as good as good humans are, at least for human languages - hence the need for proofreading. Cue vs queue, for example.
Hi There, FS,
Another good one, pal.
"Nyilas, Cáel Nyilas. I'll take my martini staken, not shtirred.
This is such a good story line.
I like the expansion of the characters and showing us more of the dynamics of the organization. The final scene was well done.
The heart cord....is that a Kabbalist or magical item, because I know the number three is important, and it had three ribbons, the color choices of the three ribbons was curious as well! And the 3 "month" internship...very interesting story you have here!
I normally don't get into this type of story but the way you have written it had totally piqued my curiousity.
I'll keep reading but I kind of hate every character. The main's arrogance is hard to swallow(ba da dum!) and I never like adulterers but since this is sci if I think it might be a literal curse
Thank you for the explanation. I wasnt thinking in terms of overall character development. My perception of this character was only that with every problem solved in three or fewer thoughts he is mentally and physically written to dominate or lay in wait to then dominate at a later time. Kind of invincible, invulnerable. How much fun is it really to read about superman being superman all the time. Boring.
.
No need to worry about reality here and that is the advantage of SF you can examine all possible relationships. Great lines. I admit that I was surprised by his showing his hand to Katharine.
Thanks for opening up the direction of the tale a bit and letting us have some interaction between the personalities...looking good, thanks.
Wonder Woman and her apprentices. That's the Life.
I am absolutely in love, with both the MC and his roommate. Rarely do i have such enjoyment from reading. Looking forward to getting to know the depth of both of their characters. And boy, what a pair of characters they are. I am in pain from laughing too hard!
... thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the tale as it progresses. I still need to get back to finishing this story ~ Chapter 48.
James aka FinalStand
This series is one of the very best stories on the internet.
I hope you continue to feel better.
Tried to login, but after 6 tries with the security code not working I gave up.
... thank you very, very much. I'm working on it (as in writing again) and trying to recapture some of that comedic flow which allowed LAANH to work so well for me as an author. I need a bit more of the Muse though before I want to tackle the final chapter(s) of this tale. It deserves a great send off with the Great Hunt and all.
Take care,
James aka FinalStand
I wasn't able to log in for months when I first joined Lit. I used an AOL email address, and AOL doesn't accept emails from Lit, so I didn't get the code until I switched email accounts.
By the way, I agree how excellent this story is. Love the banter, and not being able to predict what will happen next.
I would NOT hang out with you because I'm pretty sure you'd make me feel like I had molasses for brains. I love Cael's cockiness (and that's the perfect word for it). I'm convinced he's a Satyr and doesn't know it - fuck fuck fuck. Brilliant!
Very smart. I love the protagonist's cockiness. The author of this piece is clearly brilliant. What a fun read. Thanks for sharing.
I’m confused, is Cael a serial rapist and his roomate an accomplice? Wtf is going on lol.
So Timothy on his own takes down and binds an amazon to the bed for Cael to come and fuck?
I’m enjoying the story but in also really confused as to wtf is going on.
Noooooo ... Rhada attacked Timothy because Cael wasn't immediately there to attack. Timothy read the signs of her sexual frustration well and thus tied her up. Cael merely followed through with Timothy's advice and fucked her silly ... which was the correct course of action. Remember, Cael is initially thinking they are both going to be killed by the Amazons over this, but Timothy convinces him otherwise.
The intelligence, outrageous complexity and sheer hints of tongue-in-cheek humor come out fast (Ch.1) in this story. So much fun to read. Kudos! Thank you very much. My second reading, and it's just as much fun.
Skippersdad,
Are you referring to this:
"I need the ****, ****, and **** to stay behind. We have much to discuss." ?
If so, I used the '*' in places before I began using my handy-dandy Hittite Dictionary to refer to various Hittite words. In this case,
'... and the fact that naming status positions 'charioteer', 'archer' and 'shield maiden' in Old Kingdom Hittite.'
I hope this helps. Take care,
James aka FinalStand