All Comments on 'Jump'

Unexpected ending!

5

Unlikely ending. Those cheaters are too selfish to kill themselves.

4* Thanks

Another well-written and elaborate work.

The author takes us along the path of pain, anguish, suffering and redemption.

Not much sex, but with a plausible drama of human relationships.

Julia and Kyle, overcome their traitorous partners and set off together for a happy life.

For cheaters, Karma was enough.

The exchange of places, in the last lines, was exquisite. Betty only needed to remember Julia and Kyle. It would be an interesting addendum.

Four stars. I always offer 3 for the writing effort. And usually after the second reading. But Skippy47 won me, in this job, at first.

Clean text, no gaps. Straight to the point. But that's just my opinion.

Hank trying to get Julie back does not make sense for the character as you described you. Hank would have just moved on to another girl.

Hank and Carol both jumping off the bridge was a dumb ending. It only makes sense for Carol jump based on the characters’ personalities.

Cute story, but the interactions with the exes could have been done a lot better. It's a lot more satisfying when they deal with characters that feel like real people, and not these comical villains.

You sure can write. Just a little hint of déjà vu on this one. Don’t know why just feels

Familiar

Unique. A new twist is appreciated.

Clever!!

Good story. Liked the twists and turns.

i hope Kyle had insurance on her dumb ass

First Kyle and Julia took the plunge followed by Hank and Carol.

Nice story. Great ending.

What an ending - simply outstanding! I have to get me some of that pie and ice cream though...LOL 5*

Entertaining and well told story. Good plot with suicide and the end of the "guilty"! Sometimes life really clears up the inconsistent!

Her ex-fiance kicks her out, laughs at her and takes all their money, and she thinks he'll feel guilt over her suicide?

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Kyle got a good deal, at least initially. The house, half the money and rid of a selfish bitch with time to find a woman that deserved him. As with Julia, if he expected his ex to feel any guilt over his suicide he was naive; she'd probably consider it proof that he was a loser.

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Heh, there's no reason that having only one bathroom should cause him to see her partially clothed, that's why they make robes!

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"It looks like I will have to choose between you and Darryl." - Who says it's her choice?

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"No, but who says I don't taste better au natural?" - After that statement, they still hadn't done anything a couple of months later?

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After what happened with Carol, how can she seriously think about going back to Hank?

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Nice twist on the ending.

aah.

That is fiction for me.

But really the last few paragraphs seemed (for lack of better English word) silly....

But I've always like this author.

Thanks for the effort Skippy47.

Your story negates those avalanche of despicable cuck stories week in and out.

Nice so.I’d take from an always competent author.

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Quibbles…..the length of time they lived together before acknowledging a sincere attraction…having Betty actually think about going back to Hank tne asshole

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But yeah….nice outcome all around. 4 solid ****

Stranger things have not happened !

Fantastic story *****

I think I've nearly all of your stories. Keep up the good work.

Cute -- 5*

Than I thought it would be

A five star until the end. You lost one with that dumb/cruel conclusion. Too clever by half.

To those who think the ending was silly, I can explain. The author wanted it to be silly! Everyone complains that so many of the stories are cookie cutter, then they also complain when there is a twist. There is no pleasing some people.

Fair story - good punch line. Worth a chuckle and a 4*

That was pretty good. Like others had said, the ending a bit over the mark. Nevertheless, 5 stars.

Perfect.... the ENDING alone was worth a few +'s behind the five!!! 5++++++/5!!!

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To those who complain about the 'unrealistic ending', I'll quote that irrepressible Ozzie, You Know Who: "...now, lighten the fuck up!" It's just a story, and a damn fine one, too!

Well done

The ending took a bit away but overall I really liked this. The aspect of mutual healing was uplifting. Also, well written grammatically.

"They had no idea how to react": Happy? The end wasn't good as Carol and Hank were too selfish and egocentric to commit suicide! 4*

Sounded more like a fairy tale. Not your best!

Karma, skippy style, what’s not to love? Skippy, I love the way your mind works!

I'm not sure I would call it cute, but it was different and very good.

Visit a make-up artist, drench themselves and then go back to see Betty for another slice of apple pie.

Five stars and personally I enjoyed the ending.

Great story, as usual Skippy! 5 BIG FAT STARS!

A few typos. I had to read the sentence where Kyle was on the phone with Julia and her to her to pickup some food a few times to figure out which her should have been a he. The ending after the proposal could have more detail after carol left. The couple fell on the couch in each others arms, ... give it some passion maybe. But I like the story concept.

Great story. The ending was a nice twist. I didn't expect any scenario where it would end up like that. Keep up the good work.

Cute. Probably should have been in the Romance category, since the marriage was just a prop for their meeting and becoming lovers. Still a heart warming story, even with the corny ending. Thanks for the effort.

Creative and funny. 5

Bizarre end but without any suspense and with with cartoon characters. More like a high school essay.

Exactly!!!!

Best revenge is a life well lived, followed closely by actual revenge. They got both. Good for them

I wish more writers on this site would realise some people actually deserve to die. It makes life easier for everyone else

I liked it Skip. 4/5

Bravo. I could almost hear Rod Serling intoning about the relative virtues of pie and ice cream.

Initial meeting was clever, don't think I've heard that one before.

Thanks.

Kyle should have helped Carol call the cops to put Darryl in jail. Then he could throw her out.

Also, I remember reading a story ("until Dawn," I think, that had a similar plot, although not a "5" like this one. I wish I knew where to find that story.

Great story, had a great laugh over it. To all those nay-sayers--- get over yourself!!

It is just a story!

Excellent! All right, we knew Julia and Kyle would get together, but it was a fun ride, complete with buyers' remorse for the cheaters. @Donuthole is inane as usual.

The ending Blows!

Should've been Van Halen's Jump blared at those two

Poetic justice, but the ending detracts from the rest.

Ow that was entertaining.

Thanks for the fun read!

Killian

Now Kyle can get the life insurance and the house will be in his name only.

Must been damn good pie

That was great. Very entertaining and I am so curious about the suicide apple pie. Was it dutch apple pie? Did it have a crumble on top? Hmmm... What type of apple pie would make one couple fall in love and not commit suicide and not stop two other people from going ahead? Or was it the two scoops of ice cream on top? The combination of the two? 5* for such a sweet story.

***** - who would have guessed that such a morbid suject would make an entertaining story?

Dark humor with sustaining happy ending. I have to admit: I'm a sucker for any story where intelligent, decent, and thoughtful people go on to a happy ending and the idiotic, selfish, and narcissistic eat dirt.

Fitting end to the story. Thanks for writing.

Long way to go.

I really liked it! I appreciate the dark humor and I love seeing bad people get their just desserts.

Dark and twisted. This author is a bit cavalier eith suicide. Kind of disturbing for those of us with a more than passing familiarity with it.

Per the anon 5 months ago, I've had three suicides in my life and faced that choice once myself. Stories like this shine a much needed light on the festering shadows. And the humor helps us not take ourselves too seriously.

5 Stars.

I loved it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story! One of my favorites on here!

5/5

Nice premise, well executed

seriously CHOICE!

5 stars

A good one. Sketchy but good. Four well earned stars. Too bad about Hank and Carol, though.

JPB