by BreakTheBar
Hey all! This is my quick reminder that my erotica is powered by PATREON (www.patreon.com/breakthebar). I am making the transition to writing erotica full time, and the only way it works is through the support of the growing community behind my work.
Cheers,
~Break.
11 chapters in a series called "Font of Fertility" and nobody has gotten preggers. I understand that none of the main ladies are in a position in their life that they want a child, but there has to be someone in the magic community who is struggling to have a child (Lesbian couple? Fertility issues?) and wants a sure thing.
I get the feeling that there's too much emphasis on the sex and not the story. While I understand sex is a cornerstone of the character, it shouldn't dominate the whole chapter like it so often seems to do. In the last chapter, we saw some big things happen, like two characters abused, wounded, and running for a safe haven. So when this chapter finally hits, you'd think there'd be some kind of followup that rides the wave of the tension and conflict created by all that. Nope. Instead, we get one sex scene after another, with some romantic talk along the way. Made for a very easy chapter to scroll through as I was looking for anything pertinent to the overarching story.
So loving that you're back and posting chapters again!
Looking forward to how Jerry and the girls end up powering him up, and what uses they come up with for his sex magic. There are just so many possibilities that you can pretty much explore and kink you want to.
A few typos here and there, but there was one that stood out to me. You called Lauren and Lindsay 'step-siblings'. Is this a mistake or a change?
Still hoping you open up a Discord. I think it would be awesome for interactions with your readers, feedback, helping proofread and spellcheck posted chapters, and spread just a little more sexiness in this world.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
Still love this story and I always check to see if a new chapter is out every few days so mr/mrs break please please please keep em coming and thank you ever so much for the work you put in on these stories.
Two places where the fourth wall crashed; a search and replace the word "you" will enable you to examine the sentence and the correct fix.
Thanks for sharing. 5* Slainté
TJSkywind from kindle.
Well done on delivering another hot chapter to this great yarn. Like others I found your typos & some edit probs but I can forgive them easy as they don’t detract from the story. So looking forward to the story building around Jer’s first Council & resolution of Annalise & the situation with her mad father. In the meantime may Jer’s capacity to fill his pool & satisfy his harem continue to grow. 5 stars 🌅⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I really like the premise of this story, the downside is how slowly the plot is developing.
It may be a minority opinion, but perhaps we could get less detailed sex acts for a few chapters while progressing the story and Jeremiah's relationships.
So glad that you are back to writing this story! Fantastic work! Please continue!
I absolutely love this story!!! I'm glad that I got to read it all back to back without having to wait, but now I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next!!
Love the story. Excited to see Angie and Anna brought in permanent. May need a magic touch to Lindsay's mind to help her will power stay faithful before returning to college. Keep up the great work
I was just clicking through the random sci-fi & fantasy section and ran across the first of this series. Almost clicked away from it, but I'm very glad I didn't. It's been an amazing story to read, and I'm especially glad to see you're writing again and continuing this. Your magic 'system' feels very grounded and 'realistic' as much as magic can be. I don't remember where I read/heard it said, but a good magic system has limits and rules, if only from the perspective of the one doing the magic, and that's here. I can't wait to see and read more!
I would echo an earlier comment in asking if the reference to Lindsey and Lauren's relationship is a canonical change? I get that you are making the transition to writing erotica full-time and that Patreon doesn't allow incest, but as a reader who enjoys the incest kink, I'd be very disappointed to see this aspect get reconned out for the sake of "acceptance".
Fun, Fluff story. Not deep, (well you know), but not shallow, just right. Good enough to hook another follower.
"NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH ANNALISE INTENSIFIES!!"
*goes to start next chapter* What do you mean there isn't another chapter? What? No, that's not okay!
One of, if not the best stories on this site. My only complaints are, at this point in time is that the story is not yet fully completed and though the sex scenes are awesomely written I would like to see plot move forward a bit faster than it has to date. Otherwise, I'm loving it.
"I wish you could fuck both our asses at the same time," Lindsey laughed, then got a look on her face as if she'd just thought of a 'brilliant idea.'
Hope this means what I think it does. It should make for an interesting change in future chapters.
"The step-sibling's parents were antiquers" Since when are Lauren and Lindsey step-siblings? It's a bit late in the game to be introducing that little factoid, especially after all of the incest related concerns in earlier chapters. I'm guessing this must be a typo.
As an avid sci fi/fantasy and sex story lover, this story line has me hooked. I look forward to the next posting.
Another awesome installment in a truly awesome story. Love the new additions to Jerry's harem. And I'm glad he got Analise to safety. The one thing I did notice was several typos and mistaken words. Needed a better proof read. Picky picky, Just me being a perfectionist. Regardless, it was excellent and hot! Keep it up. You're keeping me up and I thank you. Bart
Well. I was enjoying this story but I can see from skipping ahead that the retcon of the relationships between the characters is here to stay so I'm done. Absolutely crap thing to do to readers. I don't care what Patreon's TOS is, people on this site shouldn't have to read nonsensical bullcrap because of some other site's TOS. Story had promise but sometimes all it takes is one bad decision by the author to kill it and that's what this story's fate is.
Absolutely loved the story till now and still liking it though that bit about siblings but not blood related in the last 2 chapters was purely idiotic and off putting. It's just inconsistent with the story at this point
Love the story!
Perhaps it would be useful for future literotica readers if you put the edited versions of chapter 1-10 up. If you don't want to remove the existing chapters, they could be marked with "legacy" or something similar
The setting, plot, characters, and scenes are all very satisfying. I've also enjoyed the cliffhanger endings to each chapter and can't wait to see who else joins Jeremiah's harem. 5/5*