All Comments on 'Fantasy Pt. 09: Henry the Monster'

A trial indeed! I feel like a spectator in the gallery of a Papal tribunal, with Henry as the chief inquisitor, and of course, Richard the personification of evil, and Alice the ‘heretic’ drawn (and quartered?) between Richard’s ‘Garden of Earthly Delights’ and the hope of salvation in the (sexually unfulfilling?) arms of Henry’s Paradisio. But, alas, Henry the inquisitor becomes Henry the torturer in his quest for truth. Righteous justification or rage driven retribution? Poor human Alice is ultimately only cannon fodder, charmed, seduced, and cast out by Richard, then granted conditional and painful salvation from Henry. A Biblical tug-of-war for her ravaged soul. Who’s the sinner, and are there any saints? I’ll have to ruminate on this ‘Fantasy’ a long while. Quite a thoughtful piece of writing. Thank you.

They both need therapy.

yes and after that crap

Richard getting away unpunished killed it for me. How many other marriages or families with kids did he go on to destroy? No something horrible needed to happen to him. Evil should never prevail. That is the rule of Western Civilization. 1*

Worst story ever

I was enjoying this story very much until it became evident that Henry and the author were not going to exact any kind

revenge on Richard, just pretend he didn't exist.

There were some powerful emotions exhibited between Henry and Alice both verbally and physically then it seemed

the author grew tired of the story and shut it down after the conditions were laid out. So many questions remain

unanswered like did Alice come close to breaking a condition or two or did she actually break one or two conditions

did Henry forgive her again or overlook her indiscretions a second/third/forth time because he loved her so much?

Did Henry continue to hate Alice or did therapy take those extreme emotions away.....

I certainly had high hopes for this story but to shorten up the ending of their relationship with 'and they lived happily

ever after'.

Where did the Monster go-just disappeared into thin air-just like the ending.

Dare

Waaay too dark. This story went well beyond it's "Sell By" date. I understand why it did; you created a trajectory that didn't land when and where it should've. That's the problem with writing and publishing incrementally. Things get out of hand. I get it. To your credit, you wrapped it up and managed to yank the whole massive, impetuous machine back onto the curving mountain road. Stories like this need to be written from beginning to end, then aggressively edited, proofread, and published in logical parcels. I finished it, and I'm impressed...to a point. Impressed in the same way I was when I saw the uncut versions of Heaven's Gate and Once Upon A Time In The West. You got there. Whew! But, come on. You're an excellent writer who creates remarkable imagery and is masterful at internal dialogue that creates frisson and never bores. However, you need to plan your story arcs, discipline yourself, and have someone edit/give feedback. I've read everything you've written, so I'm both impressed and mindful that you've got wasted and underutilized potential. A top-ten storyteller!!

Thank you for the ending I was hoping for apart from someone shooting Richard or him getting an incurable disease. Good writing, I look forward to your next creation.👍

You can forget about punishing Richard, but I will forget about this sad, unnecessarily stretched writing. It should have ended with part 5

I read all this way to see Richard get his due punishment, and all I get is the dreaded RAAC.

I love the fact that as we write these stories the characters take on a life of their own and they lead us into story directions we hadn’t imagined. I am happy you stuck with this and I am always happy to read stories with at least a half-assed attempt to reconcile.

Well done Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, whoever you are!

Mmmmm. I didn't end up with any type of a feeling about this story and its ending that I would label as satisfaction. Richard treating the collective humanity around him like his personal chess pieces isn't sustainable. He would end up having to fund a security force so massive and inflexible that he would essentially imprison himself to avoid the one angry man who would ruin or end his life. Las Vegas is full of people who wouldn't suffer long under a tyrant like Richard.

So basically reading this series was comparable to being forced to do some repulsive task and not being paid for the effort.

Yeah, thank you very fuckin‘ much.

Just because it’s a fantasy story, wouldn’t mind if the piece of turd Richy, would have something very bad happening.

I get it, after tremendously long, my opinion not necessarily, painful dialogues, you presented the good ol‘ living good is the best revenge. In your his case, de nada, cuz what left behind were two broken empty individuals. So yeah, some justice would have been good. Disappointed.

Captcha

After this B S I see not to bother with this author again

You labelled your title as "Fantasy".

Then when explaining the fate of Richard you said " in the real world" nothing really happens to the people like him.

It lacks imagination.

At times contradictory.

What you were able to convey is the love Henry has for Alice. The pain and hatred for what she did is also intertwined with the love he still has for her. The result, a painful and toxic love.

People who like Henry, share that depth of love to they're partners, after what Alice did exist in the real world, though to a lesser extent. Tragic and pitiful.

First of all, please get me Richard's current address. I want to find him and beat the hell out of him. My second point is more complicated. You state you are not Catholic, but I am. I will therefore learn you a couple of things. A famous saying from an infamous Catholic goes: Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. So it is with Alice and Henry, as you teach us. But when you say that Henry became a Mensch that weekend, you confer a great honor. You cannot, however, confer sainthood on him, nor can I, nor can anyone. A well-known treatise on the subject states: Only God makes saints; but it is up to us to tell their stories. You created a memorable character in Henry and you have told his story well. Thank you from your readers. (Not the Bitchers, but from most of the rest of us.)

I really liked this story. You’ll get haters for the happy ending but not from me

Adding to my previous comment. I’m sure you’re aware but I’ll say it anyway. In lw you get low scores for reconciliation. This should be much higher imho.

The worst part of this story is the idea that these people would reproduce. The crazy slut and the crazy cuck creating, and worse, raising, children together is terrifying!

The unholy spawn would become the AntiChrist!!!

ZK

Hmm. That could make for an interesting story, Anonymous. The anti-Christ would, I suppose, be something like Richard, though not even his biological kid. Just his spiritual kid.

Powerful story. Congrats on your accomplishment!

I love the bullshit comments like DentalFlossTycoon about the haters. I'm no hater but I disliked the story for two reasons. Firstly no sane man could reconcile with a woman who behaved like that and still keep his self respect and in the end that's all anyone has. Secondly Henry got no justice so the reason why so many RAAC stories get scored down is that undeserved reconciliation leaves the reader aggrieved as fair play, and justice are hard wired into our sense of ethics and morals so every undeserved reconciliation like the one in this story is a slap in the face of our belief system. That's why this deserves a low score regardless of the quality of the writing so minus 2.5 for the reconciliation but as I can't actually score a 2.5 I've scored it a 3. The writing was good...

Here is the point I see to this, it is FICTION and in fiction anything can happen. The author's job is to evoke emotion in the reader, no matter how high an IQ or low for that matter, when emotion hits the correct note that's the end of the rational; job achieved, author is the winner, the reader reacted just like they should. 2M.

Why not just let her kill herself, she clearly deserves it?

Disappointing. Such a pathetic "monster. " At least have the guts to kill Richard and all his friends. Wouldn't even be that hard. Real security costs too much, even for the majority of rich assholes. That's why the world over security details end up being dowgraded to schmucks that may be led by one or two more slightly more competent schmucks.

I'd hoped that since you were playing with the names Henry and Jekyl, that one day Henry would just fall asleep, and Hyde would wake up in his place and wreak his terrible vengeance on everybody who hurt him. Instead, we're treated to this watered down wimpy monster.

Really like it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hmmm. No.