Don't...Don't You Want Me?

I blurt out, "Valerie." Then ask, "Who are you accompanying?"

Without answering the question, Helen surmises, "it would appear we are both ducks out of water!"

Running out of conversation, we sit quietly. Looking into the main ballroom, I see Valerie hanging off the arm of a supposedly up and coming songwriter, Bill Been. Valerie was, giving him small touches. Bill had written a minor song for a pop-rock band that Ted Wild is the lead guitarist. The song reached 5th position on the Top 40. Ted has a big ego and boasts Bill is the next top songwriter.

Helen suddenly broke the relative quiet of the garden and said, "Ted Wild was my date, and he's a right idiot."

"So, how do you know him and why are you here?"

"Short story, I'm his accountant. I met him for the first time last week to sort out his back taxes. Now he's making great money; the VAT man is after him. He took a fancy to me and asked me to the Awards."

I didn't respond, and Helen continued. "So you're married to Valerie, and you're her songwriter?"

"Yeah, that's me," in a depressing voice.

"Okay, and that tune you were humming is your next Top 40 chartbuster?"

She appeared to be well informed. So I told her about a new song I was composing.

Helen suggests we use the piano in the music room so she can hear the notes. Leading me down the hallway to the room, Helen explained she did music studies and sang in the school and church choir throughout her school years.

I played the tune on the piano -- it took a couple of tries until I got the correct key. Helen quickly caught on to the melody and took over the piano. I picked up a guitar, and we played the refrain together until we got the chorus down pat.

I was impressed with her musical ability. And ask if she would be interested in playing dinner music with me at a London Gentleman's Club once a month? Getting an affirmative, we swap mobile numbers.

We were still rehearsing when interrupted by Valerie, Ted and Bill.

Valerie announces, "we wondered where you two had got to."

Bill admonishes me, saying, "you have no idea how to play a guitar." I let him think what he likes, not willing to argue the toss.

As we all walk out of the room, Ted asks, "what was the instrumental tune you two were playing?"

I replied. "oh...just a melody stuck in my head."

In the limousine on the way to the apartment, Valerie told me Ted had promised to write a song for her. I replied that it couldn't hurt to diversify.

She fucked me silly that night, like the old days before we were married. But it's just sex - there is no lovemaking. I kept wondering if she was bribing me to write her a song or feeling guilty for some reason? I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to our relationship!

The following morning at breakfast, Valerie asked, "Who was that woman playing the piano last night?"

I responded, "That was Helen, Bill's friend."

Valerie scolded me, "I hope you were not playing my next song to her? When will the song be ready to record?"

"It still needs a bit of polishing, but soon."

Again, if Ted was writing her a song, then why does she need mine? So I decided not to hurry to finish it.

With that, she informed me, "I'm off to co-host a Sunday celebrity TV show," saying, "I still love you," as she walked out the door in an off-handed way without waiting for a response from me.

I call out, "I love you too." But I was starting to wonder if I did. She had changed so much.

His Refrain:

'I turned you around...Turned you into someone new...Don't,...Don't you want me'.

I called Helen, asking if she was available to play dinner music at a Gentlemen's Club next Saturday. I needed a pianist and singer for next Saturday. She said yes, she would love to do that, and we made arrangements.

I didn't see Valerie for the first half of the week. Then she trooped in with her entourage on Wednesday afternoon. Explaining she would spend the rest of the week, including the weekend at Ted's country house fine-tuning his song for her. The EMI studios had been booked for Monday morning to do the recording.

Helen was a smashing success at the Gentleman's Club, getting a round of applause for her singing performance. The club manager praised me for finding a great singer. He only hopes that we don't lose her to the pop world.

When I turned up at EMI recording studios on Monday afternoon, Bob told me Valerie and Ted had left.

Bob and I had become good friends over the past two years. Having spent many hours together in the studio and quite a few evenings at the pub. He told me the song Ted had written was terrible - it didn't have any rhyme or rhythm. The lyrics were woeful. They stopped recording at lunchtime. By then, Ted and Valerie were so stoned that Valerie couldn't hold a tune, and all Ted could do was snigger.

His Refrain:

'Don't,...Don't you want me...Don't you want me...Baby'.

With a sad face, Bob went on to say, "Peter, we have become good friends, so I can't leave you in the dark any longer."

He went on to say, "I went to the men's toilet at one point, where I could hear Valerie and Ted fucking in the ladies. She was screaming out how good he was."

He asked, "Am I bigger than him, bitch?"

She replied, "Much bigger and better in every way, lover."

I was broken-hearted and didn't want to believe what Bob was telling me, but deep down, I knew it was true.

So I left EMI for our apartment, tears streaming down my cheeks. Arriving, I looked around - there was nothing of me here; it was all plastic and fake. I decided to clear out, packing just a few clothes to keep me going and leaving most, not wanting to alert Valerie of my possible intentions. If she was having a full-blown affair with Ted, there are no second chances in my book. So I checked into a cheap hotel across town.

Call me a sucker, but I still loved her. So I called Valerie that Monday evening to give her a chance to fix our deteriorating relationship.

She answered, 'Hi Peter," I could hear snickering in the background, "What can I do for you, PETER?" More sniggering in the background.

I asked, "Valerie, are you coming home tonight?"

She tersely replies, "LISTEN, PETER, I want a life of my own. I don't answer to you, GOT THAT!" Then hangs-up.

His Refrain:

'You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me'.

Valerie didn't appear to miss me even after not speaking or seeing each other for three weeks. She finally called to tell me that she was off to California for a week to the American Music Awards as the special guest and would be gone for two weeks.

Her Refrain:

'I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar...That much is true'.

I considered using a private detective, but in the end, their fragrant public display of affection for one another made it plain what was going on, down to sharing a hotel suite.

Her Refrain:

'But even then, I knew I'd find a much better place...Either with or without you'.

I talked to a lawyer about my missing royalties, which seemed to have stopped while Valerie's songs were doing well. My lawyer discovered funds were being diverted to her account. I asked him to look into it. I needed money to pay for hotel accommodation because I refused to move back into the apartment.

Her Refrain:

'The five years we have had have been such, good at times...I still love you'.

I watched the American Music Awards on TV to see Ted accompany Valerie. Photos in the press showed her entering an exclusive hotel on Sunset Boulevard on Ted's arm.

His Refrain:

'You know I can't believe what I am seeing...don't,...don't you want me'.

Valerie texted, "I needed downtime, and I'm taking a holiday at the beach."

So I texted back, just to make sure our marriage was irreparable. "Where? I'll come over so we can spend some time together," But she never responded.

Her Refrain:

'But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own'. 'Don't,...don't you want me'.

A month later, TV news stories indicated they were in Jamaica, tanning themselves and sharing a hotel room again. In addition, there were rumours of Valerie and Ted engaging in orgies at celebrities' homes in Kingstown.

Her Refrain:

'I guess it's just what I must do. Don't,...don't you want me'.

I moved all my stuff out of the apartment, finding a small flat in north London.

Television news reported, Valerie and Ted arrived back in London at Heathrow. Various drugs were found in Valerie's luggage and, not surprisingly, none in Ted's baggage. When she objected, saying they aren't hers, she caused a scene and was strip-searched.

It was big news in all the papers the next day. Top 40 singer Valerie Stein was up on drug charges with a heavy fine. Her manager posted her bail.

When she finally arrived back at her apartment to find I've moved out, she called me. "Where are you? Why have you moved out?"

I merely said, "I want a divorce." She laughed down the phone, saying it was only sex. I disagreed and hung up.

His Refrain:

'You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry'.

The divorce was messy. Valerie fought 'tooth and nail' through her lawyer to reduce how much she had to pay me. However, she couldn't afford to delay, putting her career on hold. If her name was off the top list for too long, people would start to forget. She settled, and I got my owed royalties back and a fifty per cent marriage settlement.

Valerie and Ted started living together in the apartment. She told everyone that Ted's next song would put her career back on top. However, when the single was released, the best it did was 20th on the Top 40. It had no solid beat and was the wrong voice range for Valerie. It was a flop for her.

His Refrain:

'It's much too late to find...When you think you've changed your mind'.

Valerie called me, begging for a song for old time's sake.

To appease her, I said, "I'll see what I can come up with." But I did nothing - SHE destroyed our alliance!

His Refrain:

'But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now...And I can put you back down too'.

********

I carried on with my new single life, waiting for the divorce to be finalised. I was still making studio session music and writing new songs for other artists. As long as I kept busy, I was okay. The only thing I looked forward to these days was when I was performing with Helen.

Speaking of Helen, we were still enjoying our monthly gig at the Gentleman's Club. It had become so popular that Helen suggested to Club management that we do a roaring twenties theme night with great success. Other themes soon followed with music from the War era of the '40s through to the swinging '60s. With Helen in mind, I started writing songs for her voice range which she could sing at the Club.

Valerie's career had taken a tumble. Ted's next song was even worse and only made 35th on the top 40. Both his and her careers had peaked, and were on their way down.

One Saturday evening at the Gentleman's Club after our dinner music session, Helen was approached by a stylishly dressed older woman, praising Helen's singing. She said, "Helen, that last song suits your voice and type of music."

Helen called her Aunty Kate and introduced me. She informed her Aunt, "Peter wrote the last song solely for me."

"Helen, you must come and visit next weekend. I insist you bring your young man as well." Aunty Kate commanded. Finally, an older gentleman waved to Aunty Kate, pointing to his watch, implying it was time to go.

During the weekend, with Aunty Kate's help, I persuaded Helen into recording a demo song at my next studio music session the following Wednesday, much to Aunty Kate's delight.

On Wednesday, Helen arrived at six in the evening after the music session ended. Bob took Helen into a studio booth to do a demo recording. Both Helen and I did the background music recording, her on the piano and me on a guitar. Bob polished it up by adding double-tracking and electronic percussion.

The top brass at EMI listened to the raw recording and agreed that both she and the song could be a hit. After some re-recordings with orchestral backing, a single was released.

Helen decided not to use her real identity and called herself 'Lady Hellen'. The single did take off and became a top ten hit in a few short weeks.

Helen finally told me her big secret. She has a child from a former marriage, and her parents were Lord Robert and Lady Christine Hazelhurst. They were caretakers of the Hazelhurst family estate in the West Country. I was invited for the weekend to meet her family.

Arriving Saturday mid-morning, I was blown away by how big the house was, or was it a mansion? Definitely a stately home, with twenty-odd rooms. However, the building was one and fifty years old and in need of renovations.

It was a busy Saturday evening at dinner meeting all her family. I finally got introduced to Stephanie, aged five. Stephanie was now living with her grandparents on the Estate and going to Hazelhurst Private Girls School. I was introduced to Helen's big sister (Syliva), William, her husband and their two daughters.

After much prompting by the assembled family, we got Helen to sing with my accompaniment on Saturday night. The whole family was surprised to find out that she was the latest Top 40 singer, 'Lady Hellen', whose single is currently sitting at number 5. All family members encouraged Helen to continue singing. Her mother told Helen that music had been a part of their family history for two hundred years.

Two weeks after meeting her parents, Lady Hellen's follow-up single was released. Another one of my songs went to the top of the charts in three weeks, holding number one for five weeks.

Over the past nine months, Helen and my relationship had matured to the extent; we had become lovers. Helen invited me to move into her much larger city apartment.

She quit her tedious job as an accountant with Prescott & Wharton* to concentrate on her singing career. Helen skipped having a manager and an accountant doing both herself, hiring a part-time PA to help. With a solid promise to me, she would always take my phone call. Never too big an ego, Helen and I still did the Gentlemen's Club monthly sessions just for enjoyment.

It was a surprise to 'all and sundry' when Steve, Ted Been's younger brother, took Ted to court for stealing Steve's songs. He wrote them in music classes during his high school years. Ted was ordered to pay back all royalties to his brother. As a result, Valerie kicked him out of the apartment and her life.

Helen was getting pressure from the EMI music and various fan groups to have a live concert, but she kept putting it off. However, as Helen was one of the year's top music artists, she was cordially invited to sing at the Royal Christmas Concert at the Royal Albert Hall to be held the weekend before Christmas, this time before the King of England. This was one concert she could not say no to. It would appease her fans and the record company in a small way.

To say our parents were delighted was an understatement. Helen insisted to the organisers that our parents were guests. I was to accompany her with the acoustic guitar while she played the piano and sang centre stage.

********

A month before the actual royal concert, I visited Helens older sister, Syliva. We had set up a date and time that was convenient to her. Syliva lived only ten miles from the Estate in a renovated cottage on the Hazelhurst Private Girls School grounds. Her husband was the school's headmaster, where she also teaches History and English.

The history of the school's main building dates back some four hundred years, when Churchill owned the Estate. The school building was the original Estate Home and was given to the school board to help establish the school. It was renovated when the school was established some hundred and fifty years ago. However, the school's land belongs to the Hazelhurst family estate and receives a yearly land rent. It was the best transaction the current Earl's five times great grandfather ever made, much to all the following Earl's delight. As a result, it's become the primary income for the family.

From what Helen had told me, Syliva is the heir-apparent to the Hazelhurst Estate and, as the eldest daughter, honoured to wear the Hazelhurst Engagement Ring. Her grandmother was the last to wear it. William proposed to Syliva, presenting the ring some five years ago.

Syliva invited me to the lounge room, where we sat facing each other.

"Syliva," I said, "I'm going to ask Helen to marry me at the Christmas family get together."

She said, "That's the best news. I'm so happy for Helen and you. And I won't breathe a word."

I went on to say, "Could I borrow the Hazelhurst Engagement Ring to get a likeness made for Helen?"

"What a wonderful idea," replied Syliva.

Syliva suggested, "Royal & Sons jewellery makers, who made the original Hazelhurst Ring some two hundred years ago."

Syliva went on to explain the history of the ring, "The Hazelhurst Engagement Ring had been passed down to the eldest daughter or the fiancé of the eldest son throughout family history. The ring had at its centre a large Ruby with eight diamonds surrounding it for eight generations of the Hazelhurst family."

She continued, "Royal & Sons has contacted me on several occasions, asking to borrow the Ring. It appears all their jewellery drawings were destroyed during WW2, with the bombing of London. They wanted to make an electronic drawing of the Ring for their records."

She picked up her mobile and made the call there and then. Explaining the situation to the jeweller, they were happy to expedite the matter. She made me an appointment for tomorrow at three in the afternoon.

We stood, Syliva said, "this is so exciting." Then, in her enthusiasm, she hugged me.

She removed her ring from her finger, returned it to its original enclosure, and handed it over.

********

The Royal Christmas Concert was a roaring success. Helen sang like an angel and received much acclaim and applause. Drinks with His Royal Highness after the event was the icing on the cake.

Two days before Christmas eve, I picked up Helen's engagement ring from Royal & Sons - who had named it the Hollingsworth Ring. The Ring cost a mere thirty thousand pounds. Money well spent. Royal & Sons only needed the Hazelhurst Ring for a few days to get an electronic copy, then returned it to Silvia. In gratitude, they rejuvenated the ring, making it look like the day it was created, some two hundred years ago.

A surprise for me was that my retired parents were invited to celebrate at the Hazelhurst Estate manor home. We arrived on Christmas eve at lunchtime to stay over the three days.

As a courtesy, I privately approached Lord Hazlehurst and her Ladyship on the afternoon of Christmas eve. I asked for their permission to marry their daughter. Getting approval from them both. Lady Hazelhurst congratulated me with a hug, and the Earl shook my hand, saying, "splendid young man."

I showed them the ring made by Royal & Sons for Helen. While it looked similar to the Hazelhurst Ring, it was different enough in itself to be original.

On Christmas night after dinner, the entire Hazelhurst and Hollingsworth families were seated in the large living room drinking hot toddies. I got down on one knee in front of Helen and asked for her hand in marriage.

"YES," was her happy reply. I proudly slipped the engagement ring onto her finger. She then proceeded to hug and kiss lovingly on the lips. I got a small hug from Stephanie.

While Helen was admiring the ring, I told the assembled family how the Hollingsworth Engagement Ring came to be created, including Syliva invaluable assistance. I explained that at the centre was Helen's birthstone, an emerald with ten diamonds surrounding it as Helen is the tenth generation of the Hazelhurst family. I hoped the ring would be passed on in both families for years to come.