All Comments on 'Crumple Zone'

Double your pleasure, double your fun!

5

Fun story, nice revenge in a life well lived.

A very enjoyable read! 5*

Well, I got to the second page and I had to quit.

Sure, 20 yo bisexual women who make out with the same man next to each other, okay.

Girls who grab onto damaged divorced men, okay, it is a fantasy site.

But American women who cook…and bake? REGULARLY and happily?

Too far, sir! Too far! :p

Saved this story for dessert. The other stories today were mostly shite. Gave a 5* rating as usual.

Grew up at a time when showers were rare and baths were on Saturday evening , youngest to oldest in order. Imagine the fantastic aroma of a couple making love on a Friday night!!! That is one reason I connect with the world's you create. Personally not into anal sex, but do get off on smell and taste of partner's num num, especially a Friday night encounter.

Hahaha. Loved the FD45 comment. My kids do cook and bake because I did all the cooking. Wife did not know what spices were for.

Wait!!!!! Just figured out that the b**** was smarter than me. She is lucky to be ok with me with my tongue up her ass or we would have problems.

I'm a little confused by that ending. So did he stay together with them or is he gonna move away but stay in his kids lives?

A fantasy right out of Penthouse Forum - my introduction to erotic stories five decades ago! The good guy - and gals - win. And a cameo from Milt Duhon is the literal AND figurative icing on the … uh, er, apple pie. Thanks very much.

Loved this. Glad they found joy and kids all together

Good story. Enjoyed it. I'll have to agree with FD45 also 🤣.

I not only loved the story, but the follow up was awesome 5 big ones

Sex, food and love. Great combo!

Another one hit out of the park. I like how your characters seem so real I can hear their voices as I'm reading. Thank you again for sharing your work with us

nice use of Henrietta for the past and Hank for the peesent. Made it easy to keep track

Always enjoy a trip back to DeGarde. 4*

Always enjoy one of JimBob's stories. The characters all develop well and the situations are entertaining. Hank you for continuing to share your wonderful talent with us.

Rnebular

I just commented the other day that we hadn't seen anything from you in a while ...and now a bounty of new stories! I enjoy most of your work, but this one is a 5-star, favorites-list hit. This was a really well told story about a broken dude, and some creative approaches to life. I liked it, thanks!

wow this is really BORING and convoluted. and well sad.

Yes he was used. But like Every LW author... as soon as a Man sees a set of tits... anything some dingbat slut says... the men/ husbands simply stop thinking

Nice surprise ending.

Fun enjoyed it very much

Great story, good happy ending? Until the babies come. Then Marc will never get sleep.

Your character dialogue is hard to read sometimes. I understand what you are trying to convey with it, but it takes me out of the story when I'm seeing all of the "you, uh" 's and "I, uh"' s. Otherwise an enjoyable read. Giving this a 3 because of the dialogue. It'd be a four or 5 otherwise.

I love the story. But I have a concern similar to Creeperclaw. What happens now? What does the future hold for the threesome and their children. That information is needed to make the story whole, and not just with a paragraph of two as many authors do. I sincerely hope and urge you to be like Paul Harvey and give us “the rest of the story.”

Ok..but too long and the ending needs work

Very cute and emotionally endearing. Intellectually kind of mediocre. He was a real dumb shit when it came to evaluating women, and Holly of course knows that, so why would she think he's good genetic material? Because he loses at bowling to not injure the fragile egos of women? So sentimental, and a bit dishonest. Just maybe these women might be smart and coordinated enough to want to learn how to bowl? Nah, they cook, they fuck, they sing and dance. And the honeymoon is going to last a few months, if he's lucky, before they are puking and irritable and realizing they have financial and real estate issues that need solving within a few months. Yeah, sounds like Polyamory Nirvana is coming Marc's way.

\

Again, lots and lots of warm fuzzy Romantic energy. Not so much above the shoulders. A really cute fun read. Thanks for the fantasy, and the effort.

This is a romance, really.

I don't understand the use of I in every sentence. Makes no sense to I .

Okay story but was it a LW story?

Fun. Literotica should consider adding a new category called something like "Cooking Wives" as that activity has entered the realm of fiction. Thank you very much.

I enjoyed the story, but there is room for improvement. The backstory was poorly intermixed with the present while they were bowling. I understand what you were trying to do, but it would have read better as a shorter flashback with less detail.

I'm not sure if them using him to get pregnant was supposed to be a surprise plot twist, but to me it was obvious pretty early on. I anticipated some blow back from him feeling used since they weren't honest with him, but was disappointed in how little time you spent dealing with that. I was also disappointed by his greater reaction to them being married than to them using him to get pregnant. It was obvious from the start that they were an established couple who was bringing him in as a third person, so even if they weren't married to each other it was presumptuous for him to expect either one of them to marry him. This was further reinforced by the fact that he was brought in to get Hank pregnant because Holly couldn't.

Finally, I think this story would be better placed in a different category. The main purpose of the ex-wife was to set him up to react badly to being used again. However, it was merely tangential and not actually necessary, as finding out you've been used and were brought in merely as a breeding stud is enough to evoke that emotion. Of course, them having him move in and give up his apartment should have tempered that reaction, even with an evil ex-wife in his mind, as they were clearly not planning on discarding him once Hank was pregnant.

Still, to close on a positive note, the overall story was really enjoyable and able to carry it across the finish line despite the stumbles.

This one was kinda weird….even for this author.

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Mildly enjoyable….but in the end didn’t leave an impression.

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3 ***

Why put so much detail into a story, then be so vague with the end. He had every right to feel used and s short restaurant chat didn't really make anything clear. Still liked it.

+

To me the language and regional words you use in your stories are so full of words and phrases that make no sense to me, that it is very difficult to interpret what you are really trying to convey. However, in this story I actually skipped over most of the middle part, read page one and five - that made it easier to understand. I really like how you described the way the women chose the MC to be the DADDY of their children and they kept him to help raise the children they made together. That was a great idea.

A really good story from an awesome writer! I felt it when Holly said she was .already married, but smiled with satisfaction over the discussion at the bar. Thanks for putting this story out there.

One of the best writers on this site. Loved this story. I hope you keep them coming.

Great story. Thank you for sharing.

Good read!

Another good one. The cameo appearances by crossover characters adds some depth that many authors don’t leverage. Your characters? The style just works exceedingly well.

I really liked the story, interesting and fun characters. As far as the complaint about the language and regional words, that's part of the charm of your characters and stories.

You always provide the stories that make me come back and read some more.

This was a good story ...

'Sexy and a lot of fun. Thanks

As I got to the end I suddenly realised that I had not cringed at mis-spellings or use of wrong words and the clichés were at a minimum.

Congratulations on a wonderful story

Very good story! I usually bitch about LW stories where the cheating wife doesn't get just desserts... but this one had a happy ending that was well worth ignoring "ex who???".

I enjoy your take on life.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Loved it, JimBob, another great story. You keep writing'em, we'll keep reading'em, and I'll keep giving you 5 stars.

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I think they should have told Marc what was up from the beginning, but he should have figured it out on his own, what with that ramp thing Hank was using. Thanks for posting.

another excellent story from one of the masters of the trade. would have given more than 5 stars, but the site doesn’t allow that

steppinontoes

Great read. Thanks for sharing. (Oh yeah, 5 stars.)

Typical JimBob44 - Excellent! Very enjoyable, and leaves room for a chapter 2 as to how the family gets on. I look forward to more from this author.

Thanks for sharing…

Bravo! A very entertaining read , 5*

Tanks again

It's a romance story, so it's in the wrong category. But I love it just the way it is.

I really enjoyed this story, especially the bowling! I do enjoy your stories! DerMTMan

Hot and fantastic! Five huge stars. Thanks Jimbob44.

Not sure how that falls into loving wife category. Maybe group or lesbian. They can't legally marry, only cohabitate. Lying to Marc, or at the very least hiding the truth from him doesn't bode well for any long-term relationships. They simply manipulated him and he let them. Sorry, just not a fan of this one.

I enjoy your storytelling and the ever wider cast of characters that populate them. As always, a fun read. 5* from me.

Pity 4*! Really boring....

Thanks for a good read

Though I've liked some of your previous stories a lot more.

I blew thru the sex and found this to ridiculously unbelievable. 2 women 2 pregnant women. 1 happy stud.

Reading about all that food I probably will have a swollen day. I could weigh a ton eating like that. Fun story, not my usual type but I did enjoy it. And just so you know, you write for my enjoyment too.

Pappy

Sad story, they totally used him. Why weren't they up front from the start? Pretended to offer romance right off the bat but only wanted a baby. Why was Holly fucking him at all? Not a LW story in any way, this was a bittersweet romance about what could have been. Starting a long term 3-way relationship totally founded on lies seems doomed to me.

6 pages of minutiae and superfluous dialogue. I was almost 9K words into it, I had to bail. Sorry. When you’re halfway thru a story and you still don’t know what the story is about, I gotta go. I know the author was trying to endear the readers to the characters, but page after page?

Another fun trip to the world steamy Louisiana. Fun characters, interesting storyline and your great dialogue with its Creole flavor.

You lost me on the first page. There was no clear distinction about being at work and then at Holly's apt..

No woman wants a guy fresh out of divorce. They’re always a train wreck, and dating anyone from the office is an HR nightmare. There is no fucking way she would go to dinner with a newly divorced manager.

Great Story on Steroids, as usual. But Casa Olé is now "trendy"? Y'all need an influx of good Tex-Mex food. STAT!

Sorry, but I can't understand that. He lets his wife cheat on him and then he lets two lesbians abuse him to father children and thinks that's great? This is the biggest cuckold and wimp you can invent. You may be a good writer, but the plot of your story is just stupid!

Great story, just right balance of sex, character development and romance

Yes, they totally manipulated him, and it's obvious that he'll be the third wheel/human dildo in the relationship. On the other hand, they are young, hot and big titted.

UNsweet tea…. anywhere in the south???

Sacrilege!!!

Another great read, thanks!!

Looks to me like you just put this in LW to get more views and comments. I'm not seeing a loving wife anywhere in sight. Definitely in the wrong category.

Another great story by Jimbob44, I really enjoy the way his characters tie together.

Love it

Hey, I enjoyed it. I would have liked it if had been in the Mature category. I would have liked it if it had been in the non-erotic or sun- human category. No quibbling on my part where you categorized it.

Thank you for the story and thank you for making your characters believable and likable…

Enjoyed the story, Marc is a lucky guy. Thanks for your writing.

Lovely story, shame they didn't get to flaunt themselves in front of Becky.

Nice story, well done.

Marc has to learn you don't buy the cow as long as you're getting the milk free. Only, I recommend he updates his will and life insurance. At this rate, he's not going to live long, but what a death! Greatly entertaining story by a great storyteller. Thanks for the tale!

Always liked visiting the world you have created. Somehow this story seems a bit unjointed like a bunch of ideas that were left in the bin got thrown together. Just didn't do it for me, sorry.

Some people just deserve a happy outcome. These three certainly did. 5*

I love your stories Jimbob. And I love seeing your characters crossover in stories.

Very entertaining writing. And as I’m reading it I feel like I’m from the south. Lol

Yes they used him.

Love your stories but you must have a filing cabinet to keep all the names and all else straight!!!

I'd love to read more. please continue.

Love your stories. You have a knack of bringing out realistic cajun dialect in your stories. Hopefully, soon we will get an update on Ms Lopez. By far, that was your most entertaining work.

Many thanks for your work.

As a Louisianian , I loved all the local touches such as the Garret Hartley jersey :)

Nice story. Good dialogue and interaction between the three characters. Not the ending I was expecting. Well done and thank you

He isn't wrong, they did use him. They also lied (by omission) by not telling him they were married. They also deceived him by getting Hank pregnant without telling him. Good thing it's fiction, and he enjoyed it, and decided to stay (NGL, I probably would too) but still, wrongs were done on many levels.

Interesting story and well written, but what am I missing with all of the "I" in the I wrong places I, I didn't I get it.

All the stuttering, hesitant speech started to bother me a bit. Could have sworn they sounded smarter at the beginning. Still, good story.

Am sorry but this isn't me, but I do like your writing i only gave you a three but I the thought is interesting but not realistic. Women can be more jealous than men at times.

I usually love your stories. This one not so much

I liked the story itself, as it was interesting. I gave it 5 stars. I had a feeling that Holly and Hank were using him to get Hank pregnant. But getting Holly pregnant wasn't planned. Oh well, shit happens. I was surprised to learn that the girls were married to each other (nice twist), but felt they should have told him up front. Yes, he knew Holly was seeing Hank, but that was all. It was a very well told story, and I enjoyed it. It was also the first of your stories that I've read, and I'll look thru/for more to see if I find something else that I like, as I like to read different types of stories. It could have used an epilogue though, so the reader would have a better idea of how the story finally ended. Meaning did he move in with them, and let them take care of him? Did they have two boys, or two girls?

... I have a bad feeling that this isn't going to end well for Mark.

Profession of undying love aside, the level of duplicity shown by those two women rarely ends up with long lasting happiness for their 'mark.' Hey, maybe I am wrong, and they will keep on showing as much love toward the father of their babies as they show to other another... but I doubt it.

I've read of stronger couples created by this author that bite the dust, even though they had much more solid foundation. Mark seems to be in heaven, though... yet, he still deserves better.

All and all, a great tale. Thanks for the share, author.

A good story makes the reader think. It doesn't have to be real, or totally believable... it just has to be entertaining and/or interesting.

Each reader will decide how much it resonates with them, and if they "like" it...

...I did.

A good story makes the reader think. It doesn't have to be real, or totally believable... it just has to be entertaining and/or interesting.

Each reader will decide how much it resonates with them, and if they "like" it...

...I did.

Kind of a weird story. In my mind there were so many potential pitfalls never explored among all the characters, major and minor. This just seemed to be a sex story with not much depth to the main characters. Fun read though, so thanks for your writing time.

Someone always gets under served in a 3-way lol by its very definition it’s odd.

Very enjoyable reading! I did not catch that many crossovers but Really appreciated the note at end with details. Thank you for writing and sharing.

I know the author writes for their pleasure but I do appreciate the ability to ride along!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

A nice enjoyable story and good ending.

A little light on any kind of depth, the main character was kind of just a passive place holder for the story to happen to.

He just got divorced because of cheating and he's okay going out with a woman he thinks has a boyfriend? He never asks what's happening or why or even really has a thought or feeling in the whole story, everything just.. happens to him.

It was a fun read, kind of a Wham Bam thank ya mam deal but enjoyable, just not a lot under the surface.