All Comments on 'Camryn's Baby'

That is one messed up story.

you bent overbackward to be somewhat politically correct in the story. The woman was whore simply and coldly. You and the original writer both have told stories about very mentally and emotionally maladjusted people. I wouldnt believe this sort of shit could happen but know it does. Women are out there that sell themselves to men as wives just to be rich have no doubt.

I would had David punch his father's mouth in the office scene.

Payback is a beotch.

Not to be evil, but to be honest this really was barely better than what JPB wrote. =(

I can understand the need to make the main character cut ties, but you made everyone so "evil" in his family that it was hard to believe.

The father was so "two faced" that I found I was forcing myself to read the interactions between him and Dave. Right off the bat you hate the father as a reader. I kept waiting for that "but", where a loving parent tries to see it from the side of the child they fathered and raised, anything from the father that would make me like him, but it never came.

The mother was beyond screwed up in her direction that he keep raising other men's babies as his own so she could have grandchildren. No matter who was getting David's wife pregnant she expected him to sit by and hold her hand and smile about it.

Camryn's total disregard and respect for him was except so that wasn't really an issue.

Some of the logic used, while expected to be flawed from the father's side was accepted by Dave as valid while it was fully flawed. For example:

His example, that David accepts, about stealing a car is not the same as raising a child. Unless the car cost $300,000 - 500,000 to replace, that's what it takes to raise a child now a days from a baby to 18. And that is only if he had to completely replace it because he did something to total it out.

That's also not including college, if they intend to go, which is then another cost tacked on top of that. My daughter just did this as a report for her sophomore class as an English report, and I checked her numbers because I was shocked at the values. They are right.

So using your above example it would be like being caught stealing a car and the judge makes you pay the owner $150-$200 "A WEEK" back to him/her as punishment, and they get to keep the original undamaged car, and you have to keep paying that to the owner for the next "18-20 YEARS". That is the only way your example fits.

But in the end, the story was originally screwed up badly, but to be honest you really made it worse, but tried to let him ride off into the sunset, after he made sure that his cheating cuckolding wife would be taken care of by his rich parents after their divorce, and after he decided to keep quiet about "why" they were divorced, and said "Now I'm standing on my own two feet". No he wasn't. He still ran like a thief in the night so he didn't have to face anyone.

This really didn't come out any better than the original story.

I know you may think I'm slamming you, and I'm sorry you might feel that way if you do, but you have access to the numbers of how the readers voted, so you know if I'm telling the truth =(

-Risq

jpb ending was bad but he is a sicko, your ending was worst because you were going to fix it, all you ended up doing was making the characters who were evil end up with everything while the main character did nothing got nothing and slither away like he was in the wrong. If this is an example of your way of thinking i hope you leave other peoples stories alone.

This is your first story on this site and I think you made a good job of it. You show some interesting insights into a family dynamic, particularly the matriarchal manipulation.

It was said that you made the rest of the family more unlikable, but I think your main focus was to steer David in a particular direction, so you used the other characters to do that. I think that is reasonable in the short space that you used to tell your story.

I'm sure you realise that the LW category and cuckold sub category attracts some very strong comments. Do not allow them to dissuade you from writing in your own style. I look forward to seeing more stories written by you. TTB

Great effort and a good ending. I didn't like Bob's too much, as much as a fan I am, but this was OK. Let's see more. Hey Mandy, try ending some of mine if you fancy it, because mine come in for enough critisism. Be my guest.

You were entitled to your own version of this story. I do not agree with some of the comments. This guy had as much rights to reject being the father to someone else's baby, especially when it's all done for greed. Being disrespected by his whole family for their own reasons is just to much to bear, if you respect yourself. I like your version as much as the first one, maybe more cause he stood by his principles and made the others look into the mirror. He was happy in the end. Good. As for being a bit curious about the others, that's human. But he wasn't curious enough to look them up yet. Very good. Maybe later, with a new wife (with children of her own?), just to rub it in their face. Super.

Your story made much more sense and was a much better ending.

I disagree completely with the commenters slamming this story as being little better than--or even worse than--the original. Here's a few reasons why:

1. In the original, David blindly accepted Dad's logic of why he should love his wife and the baby. You allowed David to clearly and logically refute that load of bullshit.

2. In the original, David and Camryn reconciled despite her continuing--and even worse, in-your-face--adulteries. Here, as would almost always happen barring strange fetishes, they did not reconcile. To the contrary, David took the course all but mandated by the situation: He divorced her.

3. In the original, David never stood up to his mother's neuroses, the original underlying cause of the whole mess. Here, you actually explained the neuroses as being simple matriarchal manipulation, which fit the whole situation far better.

I understand why most commenters dislike the "slinking away like a thief in the night" ending, but I disagree with this as well. This was the perfect ending: He cut absolutely all ties with his wife, her children, and his own fucked up family. Now he's happy on some beach shagging long-legged beauties with a home and a life of his own. Meanwhile, his parents are paying for their manipulation by being forced to support Camryn and the child. Granted, he didn't totally torch the bitch, as most seem to prefer, but he's got his freedom and Camryn and his parents are now sleeping in the bed they made.

What's not to like?

I agree with Britease. Please post some more.

P.S. You should, though, learn when to use a comma instead of a semi-colon. This was a very distracting and oft repeated mistake throughout the story.

An even more fucked up wife.

I had my doubts if you could turn JPB's turd of a story around.

And I was right it just showed what a wimp he was for 2 years and what a fucked up tale this was.

At least in the end he got away from the purgatory of hell his so called whore of a wife, bitch of a mother, and wimp of a father put him in.

I am surprised at the tone of this story he didn't go out and buy a gun and kill every fuckin one of them.

Just Sayin!

Much better ending than the original in the sense that it presents the clarity of the problem with a more reasonable, nay, human resolution. I like JPB most of the time, but not this one. Mandy01 certainly deserves a hand for her take.

Better than Bob's! Thanks for sharing. Ohio, USA

We liked it and sincerely appreciate the effort this author took to create a realistic ending. And on top of it all, it makes sense - no man should ever have to put up with whores like this slut not to mention the pathetic excuse for parents. It is nice to see another "self-centered" slut get her due reward but on paper she actually came out ahead.

Interesting to note the similarities between Camryn and "Debbie" from DSQ's continuing story - both cheating sluts that care for no one except themselves.

We hope this author takes on the challenge of drafting a "realistic non-wimp" ending(s) for almost any of MattM screwed efforts. Debra & Wayne

JPB somtimes writes his stories just for the punchline. This was one of them. Your story shows the motivation of the characters much better than the original. Of course JPB's plot is based on a huge fuck-up. Realistically there is hardly any room for favourable characters. From my POV you handled it very well.

well, it is. its just that this one have a positive ending. thanks!

rehnquist needs to get back in touch with reality because I dont know what the fuck he is talking about .

this revamped story is almost as bad as the original J5PB piece of shitr

The original story was just ...in a word... VILE.

The car analogy in THIS story was pitiful.

The author should of explored the father Mother relationship. In the story the husband openly wonders if the same thing did not happen to the father/ mother all those years ago.

THAT angle should of been explored. Otherwise WHY raise the issue?

The Dad 's bizzarre irrational actions tells of a darker more sinister motive that just supporting the goofy mother. 5 will get ya 10 that the idiots older dad was cuckold by the mother and that None of the sons are really his.

another serious flaw... Given how strongly the husband has reacted over the past 2 years WHY would Camryn-- AGAIN -- get pregnant by another man then tell him after the fact?

did camryn think he would react well to that?

but still off the mark in that it should have never gotten to that point in the first place...when she first announced her pregnancy is when he should have said well lets divorce then so you can now marry the father ...as we both know this one is not mine

this showed you could write a story, your own, I want to say. taking one of jpb's worst story and trying to make it better was not a good idea. you can only fail and you did. every character in this story that was bad, mean, calculating, cold, ugly and stupid, from wife over grandfather and grandmother got even worse. that the molested guy gets away in the end does not help much. he lost everything, home country and all his friends, all his family, all his roots he ever had. plus there is a deep never healing wound in his character for the rest of his life. he will never ever trust anybody anymore and his view towards women will be definitly set. fuck them and then throw em out.

...who asserted this to be an improvement on JPB's original effort.

Please keep up the good work and maybe refinish a few other 'wimp' stories in a similar (or improved) fashion, maybe TabooTeller's "DJ Wife" after chapter one (for example). I thought of doing that but, honestly, chickened out. Credit to you Mandy for trying this - I look forward to an original from you too.

Twisted beyond all reason. Makes no rational sense. All of the characters are sick.

I liked how you handled the story with this ending. Will be waiting for more stories from you.

There are matriarchs that do try to use money and manipulation to exert their will on their children.

I understood the "door" to divorce being the only way for him to stop the daily pain of living in hell. This man had taking no action to cause any of the events, yet he was been asked to follow along and act like nothing bothered him. His failure to bond with the boy is sad but he couldn't help the way he feels.

JPB told a story about how a man found himself in a situation caused by his family. Mandy fleshed out the story and came to the same conclusion I did. The only way this man could ever be happy is if he not only divorces his wife, but also his whole family.

WELL DONE... JPG's story pissed me off, because I know a family like that in real life. Mandy's story expained to me... why. LOL

I was all set to say what a crappy story this is. Wrong one of the best I have read on this site good work!!!!!. Very differnt story line. Please do more."Thank You"

I truly enjoyed your ending to JPB story. Although I love reading JPB some of his endings just don't fit for me. One comment - when taking over another authors story you should keep with the same dialect. We do not use the word Mum on this side of the pond. Other than that I loved it. I hope you continue writing.

I liked your attempt to re-work JPB's story, even if I don't find your version completely successful.

You did make one very good point that JPB overlooked: Dave's father justifies Camryn's continuing adultery by saying, "hey the poor girl has needs, Dave, and you're not meeting them." And you quite rightly have Dave answer, "hey Dad--I'M still being faithful to her, in fact I'm being completely chaste, so why the fuck isn't she?"

I hope you'll write more stories, and I do have one practical suggestion: try to avoid such long paragraphs--they're hard to read on-line, even if they would be appropriate in a printed book. Please break them up and make them shorter for ease of reading.

Thanks, ohio

I completely agree with Rehnquist's comments and just as completely disagree with Risq's comments. Your writing is quite good. Agree with Ohio that shorter paragraphs are easier to read, but wonderful writing style. Please submit more stories.

this author is a "female" 18-20. Camryn's Baby came out 5 years ago(02/06/05). I want to know how old this "girl" was when "she" read Camryn's baby?

I neither care how old you were when you read the original nor to I care how old you are now. I also don't care what sex you are. I do care that you shared your views of JPB's story and cared enough to try and make it better. A tribute both to JPB and you as a writer. I enjoyed your version very much. I suggest that you read all comments and take them as what they are Including this one, but pay particular attention to Risq. I endorse his comments. Please continue writing as I will surely read your stories.

I am afraid I made a fatal error. I endorsed Risq's comment within my comment. Although I respect his comment; I actually was endorsing the comment made by REHNQUIST.

family?

You have more insight into a man's pride and ego that the original author. Too bad he degenerates it constantly. A great ending for a story that needed a better ending.

I thought your story was bloody good. Dealt with a lot of issues as YOU (THE WRITER) saw it. I am sorry that some of the readers can't stand a writer having a point of view that doesn't match theirs.

During the confrontation with his dad I thought that it was going to come to light that Dave was the product of a similar style of pregnancy by his mother. Wouldn't that have been the bees knees!.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the story. It flowed and read well. I will be looking for more from you. Thanks.

oo

Wooow? I’m sitting here sipping my first cup of coffee for the day and reading the comments posted. JPB warned me that there would be some every interesting ones. lol

What can I say? I’m amazed? Flabbergasted? Totally speechless? Well no, that’s not quite true; I lie! The fact that I’m putting fingers to keyboard disproves the notion...hehe

What I will say is that I’m relieved and so happy that I have made such an impression on an audience of veteran readers and more to the point writers. All in all I’m happy with the comments with my version.

To tell you the truth there’s only one comment that even came close to raising my hackles and maybe that was the “anonymous” commentator’s intention ? Criticise my style of writing, grammar, and or punctuation, even to a lesser extent subject matter and I’ll take heed of those who know more than I. I’ll take it on the chin and endeavour to improve. To question my sex, age and, or beliefs is so crass and juvenile, it’s laughable. Especially when the author of said comment won’t even put his/her name to the statement.

I’d like to thank the rest of you wonderful readers for the moral support given. I intend to write more; some like this one and some of my own making. I have to admit to a long and thoughtful period before I got up the courage to tackle this story. The reception I have received is nothing less than astoundingly encouraging.

To TTB, Rehnquist, curiousss, ohio, victoriangent, and all the other who have been gracious enough to help out a budding author, not to mention Britease; you old cutie you. I just loved Leopard’s Spots! I love your sense of humour, it mirrors my father’s. lol

I take your constructive criticism with good grace. I know there were paragraphs that were too long, but couldn’t decide how to chop them up without losing the continuity and I can never work out the comma/semi colon. Wonders if Microsoft will ever make a good punctuation checker worth a damn?

Hmmm! Undone by my mum once again.lol And here I was worried about showing my arse/ass. These are national variables inherent in speech; bastardisations if you will and Tesler is right that if you’re going to take on someone else story, then you should atleast try to keep the same dialect. I tried and failed...so shoot me...lol.

There is one word that gets my goat...drug? Maybe someone can explain it to me? Although I have no problems with being dragged to bed by my preferred partner, I have no wish to be drug to bed. To me, cocaine, heroin, nicotine, caffeine are all drugs. Ohhh well, we live and learn.

Thank you all again for your generosity. I’ll keep an eye out for my mom a little more from now on....lol.

Mandy, Great job for the first time out! I expect to be seeing a lot more of you here.

Thanks for sharing

Mandy, you are a great talent here! I know how hard it is to write and alternate version of an established story. And JPB is a good writer but you did a great job. Yeah, I would have liked to have seen the father get laid out once but c'est la vie!

Please keep writing and giving us more!

The very best regards.

Chagrined

Mandy01,

Great ending. This, your first contribution, a FIVE.

Where JPB has his detractors, you got them all on your first contribution.... and I'm still laughing at them!

Always look for new stories by Bob. I've been a big fan of his and now am your newest fan.

Now, can we look forward to more from you?

best wishes

x

I agree with Rehnquist's comment completely. In terms of plot, this is a much better ending than JPB's original. Ohio's comment was also insightful - I missed the line about the husband/son being faithful. Good 1st story.

it took too long to get there. His mother and wife are both controlling individuals. In addition his wife is a disrespectful bitch. his father is a disgusting toady. The conversations are tediously repetitive,. He states his position clearly and with strength and his wife and father respond from their delusional worlds. This should have been condensed. He was never an unsure individual. He never felt he was tied by any bonds of caring to any of his family. Given all this it is inconceivable that he would delay taking the action he did. He knew this and was ready to do it at the beginning of the story. He didn't need the "final" insult of another child that wasn't his to convince him of anything. He knew it all already. It the story was to be drawn out he needed more uncertainty and doubt.

I'm sorry I didn't see this story earlier. First of all it was a good read, not sure about a husband staying in such a marriage for two years, but it's your story and well done for being brave enough to write a story in the LW section. Thanks for writing and please do write again.

Regards.

Rewrite all of JPB's wimp stories. You are a great writer, and I enjoyed the hell out of your ending, which was truly a happy ending, and I LOVE happy endings! I don't believe he ran away at all, he bailed out on a life going down in flames. I must say it is good to welcome a new no wimp writer to this site, Lord knows we need more of them. Ohio was right, break up your paragraphs more, us old farts with reading glasses have a tough time with long fat paragraphs.

Am I and other readers supposed to believe this is a first time effort? An excellently written story!

I thought this was an excellent effort to try and put a bit of common sense into a story that was ridiculous from JPB.

JPB"s story was dumb, well written but dumb just like a lot of fiction on this website. Trying to drag this story into the realm of normalcy was complete lunacy. I guess the big question is, WHY? Your writing skills aren't bad so I hope you were just using this story to cut your teeth on. You seem to have the proper set of ethics that the "Loving Wives" readers like and there is nothing wrong with your creativity. So, give us something new. Something from your past, a friend's past or just heard. Just embellish, add a little sensationalism, exaggaterate then twist it a little and then you have your own fictional story. Looking forward to reading it. Good Luck

I liked this ending better than JPB's. But even with the changes, I think the male character remained weak. Thanks for writing.

I thought your writing was close to JPB’s, perhaps, too close. I normally do enjoy his stories. The true worth of the ‘pudding’ (so they say) is in the eating and you have not yet made your own pudding.

Looking forward to a taste of your home made cooking.

The entire family is mentally disturbed. I don't understand why he didn't divorce her for adultery and tell the entire world how fucked up his wife and family actually are. He should have torched the bitch and done as much damage as possible. The author had a chance to put right JPB's screwed up story and missed the chance. where's the justice?

The bitch never heard of birth control?

....like my last defecation wiped up in two flushes.Much better. And it only took him TWO YEARS to come to the obvious conclusion. Yeah, much better.

I liked your effort. I won't repeat Rehnquist's comments but found his statements right on.

Additionally, I would offer two points not made, but probably in your thinking....she got pregnant again as an effort to force her husband's hand...her logic the first time was messed up, so naturally she drew a bad conclusion again...people don't always learn their lesson, and you showed us that.

Secondly, by him leaving the family he really is punishing his mother to the max extent possible without telling her the truth. His mother will wonder until she dies why her son left....what delicious pain he inflicted. A great solution to the story finish.

Finally, you ended it much like JPB's stories...without really providing us a complete ending...so the joke's on us.

Ignore the flamer's and write more stories! I like the way you think.

Keep up the work! Very few seem to want to let cheated husbands have any pay back or life.

It has fast come to a time that we don't need them any more. If I have it correct there are procedures that women can use their female partners DNA to get pregnant.

It is only a men's world since Santorini blew up and roared Yahweh and us Females who ran society were blamed for the disaster that took place. I must admit that the last 3000 years were very violent because they were run by men. Thus if you are male and want to be used as a pawn in religious power plays and put your life in danger because of it all the best with it.

Only a female brings life the same goes for deity's that are not Pagan as Yahweh is if there is a God it would certainly be a she,

From birth female babies are more advanced, produce more work than males in the same time. Are able to do more than one thing at the time without mistakes. While we naturally live longer! If there is a male god he went wrong somewhere. A male who cant handle the offspring his wife produces is truly a simpleton

LOL Janice

Good ending to a bad story. Janice you are a fool.

A slightly acid story in the beginning, ending in a sweet finish.

This story IS better than the original. Far better -- I dont know what story RISQ was reading. BUT Harry's point was interesting. Given all the happened WHY did Camryn get pregnant a 2nd time?

Even if she REALLY believed her rationalizations and her excuses for doing what she did... and then kept fucking lots of other men... she had to know how miserable dave was over the past TWO YEARS and how he wanted no part of the 1st baby.

So why did she do this a second time?

what was her thinking ?

dear janice1939. What you said about a woman getting pregnant with a dna of her female/male partner is impossible even in these days. You should better take biology classes.

Whoa, J1939, you are seriously fucked up and demented. Are you by any chance related to that retard called "shoe no IQ" because the similarities are scary. Delusional at best, you both are off your medications and we highly recommend you both be eliminated from the gene pool to prevent further degradation of the human DNA. Please jump off the nearest bridge or step in front of those pathetic Gray-hound buses. Please tell us that either of you have not spawned learning disability off-spring!

Thanks Mandy01 for saving this story in a very fine form,, an excellent example of great writing talent.

I hated jpb's ending and wanted to smack all the characters around. This is better, more realistic and I hope that his entire family finds out the truth!

The descent into darkness and despair by all the characters was brilliant. I disliked all these losers, but found their interactions fascinating. Great read. Loved the twist that she got pregnant again. Great tension and terrific dialogue. This sequel just as good as just plain bob.

Both endings worked. I liked them both very much.

The real talent you displayed here is that you were able to mimic the writing style of JPB to a T. And that is not as easy as it sounds. For example, reading Mitchner, you can see the differences as his pet authors fail to follow his style. If you cut and pasted this into a JPB story, it would flow seamlessly

Very well done just from an artistic standpoint.

From a reasoning standpoint, it also works. This guy got shat upon and you revealed the reasons why. Very nice.

I gave 5 stars to JPB for his superb story. I give 2 stars for this pitiful and inept attempt at writing.

Hope you read this you pathetic piece of manure. Scrum like you are making Literotica a sad site.

Great re-imagination. Felt like I needed a shower after reading the JPB garbage but your story made up for it! Don't listen to his creampie brigade, this is a fine story!

There were a number of grammatical flaws which were evident.

I still like the story. Your reasoning was first rate. You needed to do a bit more editing to make it flow a bit better.

Still an excellent story, though I'd like to have found out what happened to Camryn.

I liked the story. Of course you should notice the author didn't say how he managed to get a new identity. That is because the author doesn't know how that would be possible. Actually it is almost impossible. About the only way is to get a passport using his identity and travel to a less developed country and obtain a new identity there.

I the USA it would require a birth certificate and a SSN. You cannot obtain a delayed birth without all kinds of records including school and medical records before the age of ten. You cannot use a dead person's birth certificate because now all deaths are tied to the births. Therefore, any birth certificate ordered would be stamped DECEASED.

You cannot get a Driver license without a birth certificate and a SSN. You cannot get a SSN without a birth certificate, a state ID card (a catch 22), and going to a social security office for an interview. You cannot present false documents because the social security administration verifies all documents with the issuing agency.

Attempting to use a dead person's SSN is not possible since any check shows the number as DECEASED. The doctors when filing death certificates and the funeral homes report all deaths to the Social Security. And, even burying someone on your property would be illegal.

About the only possible way to obtain a new identity in the USA is to kill someone that looks much like you and dispose of the body, hope it is never found, and then assume the dead person's identity. That way there would be no record of the person's death.

Maybe DWornock should ask herself how a seventeen year old kid gets a fake id. Maybe she should ask an illegal immigrant, from what I hear they know where to get false documents also. I have never had the need, but I think I could make a phone call...

I think this revision is impressive, considering the situation the protagonist was in from the beginning. Was divorce and leaving the only choice? Based on the storyline of his family, it would seem so.

As for getting a new ID, it's done all the time. With enough money, anyone can get a shelf ID and it's valid as far as most identity checks go. For those with military and/or government service, it would be a difficult thing to gain a new identity and have it pass intense scrutiny, as their fingerprints and DNA samples are on file.

So it's not that far a reach. As it is, the story is fictional, so in my opinion, anything goes.

I notice you have not published since Feb 13 2011, a day before St Valentines Day, in the USA. What happened, you were on the road to a very promising career with your writing, stories and insights into lifes of various scenarios. Wishing you well into the future and success for you to continue. I live in Vegas, almost 8000 miles or 12,000 kilometers from your country, so have a cheer, a share with your friends in hopes you will be able to discover your true ability to write. TK U MLJ LV NV

20 years ago it was not difficult obtain a new identity. However, in the last few year, especially after passage of the "Real ID Act" it is almost impossible. Now it requires a passport or passport card to even return to the USA from Mexico.

Fake documents don't work because the Social Security Administration (SSA) will verify with the issuing agencies and the Department of Motor Vehicle will verify the SSN with the SSA.

You cannot order a usable Fake ID from anyone in the USA because Law Enforcement would shut them down. You can order one from www.idchief.ph/. They are located oversees in or near China. However, that is risky because it is a felony and if customs inspects they will seize it and sometimes they prosecute. Google "IDChief felony."

However, it is easy to make a passable fake ID. You can download editable templates for most states. Just Google and download "The Ultimate Fake ID Guide 2010 Version 7.rar." Then all that is required is Photoshop and an ID card printer.

You can order holograms for a number of states from custom-holograms.com. Again that is risky because they must pass through customs and if customs inspects, they will seize. Also, it is not difficult to make what looks likes holograms using Pearl Ex. If you Google there are sited that provide instructions.

Finally, it is easy to go to court and get your name changed. However, that leaves an easy to follow paper trail so it is not a change of identity.

I wrote a rather scathing review of JPB's original story. It was a completely unsatisfying and irrational piece of literature. You, however, managed to salvage a decent story out of his hopeless mess. I intend on reading more of your work in the future.

In JPB's version everything was going fine...up until the last few paragraphs. This story corrected that. Good job.

Now this is the way the story should have gone. JPL made Dave a cuckold wimp because of his parents and MANDY01 took it to the right path which led to the divorce. I might have taken it a step further and revealed all to the mother but that's just me. A story resurrected and finish the way it should.

YEAH

I'm sorry I meant JPB not jbl. No disrespect intended.

let his father marry her

This is somuch better an ending and more in keeping with the chacter of the people in this story. A 5 star.

I haven't had the un pleasure of reading the first version but if everybodies comment is correct I'd hate it.. I liked this story but I didn't love it simply because I would have divorce the slut on day 1 as well as divorcing my supposed family... I didn't like that he disappeared, only because I want them to see that he's moved on & he's a got a better wife & better life.... I would have told the mother EVERYTHING ! fuck her going crazy that's her problem , her wimpy husband problem & their round heel slut Daughter in law problem... I actually appreciate my family more after reading this story... No family can possibly be this fuck'd up.....I'd love a continuation of how he's doing.... It's too bad he married such a stupid slut

you wrote a good story but no man, with self respect or not, would have stayed in that situation. The men she was with had to have had medical testing therefore IDs would have been know, court ordered DNA testing would establish the father. In reality it is almost sure she knew who the father was, it is essential genetic info be available for future medical needs. Any woman who fosters anothers child on a man should have fear for their and the childs life. First thing a male lion does coming into a pride is kill all the offspring of the previous alpha.

He should have stuck to his guns the first time - no second chance, no bending over for Mamma to stick her strap-on up his ass. Never should have allowed his name on the bastard's birth certificate uncontested. And he should have responded to Dad's fist in kind.

He ended up the loser. He lost everything and had to start over while she got everything she wanted and lets be honest, she no longer wanted him. I am curious about the rest of the family and why he didn't use them way back when. It seemed everyone wanted that money and the mother had made a verbal contract with everyone regarding the reward for the first grandchild. All he had to do was tell his brothers to keep trying to get pregnant and once one did, he could expose the whore without worrying about his mom losing her grandchild. As it is, he has her for grand larceny. Lying to get the money and presenting the bastard as a legitimate grandchild is fraud. He could have used that as leverage. He fucked up all the way around.

proves you can overlook a lot, TK U MLJ LV NV

no way would i stay with a fucking whore like that. No respect or love for her husband and my family would have all died for their involvement in that shit

your character had real balls. 5

the whole family needed to be opened up to the light of day. the whore divorced for adultry, the forced search for the father(s) the grandfather and grandmother having to man up and accept it wasnt their grandchild and that they destroyed the marriage. Camrym needed to have been left penniless. The concept of take no prisoners and burnt to the ground needs to have been done here.

For a totally unreasonable and unmanageable situation you picked it up and found a way out that held some small amount of dignity -

Back to the original no one should ever tolerate the abuse he did and none of the activity should have ever been permitted near him - the boy was an innocent and I have mixed feelings about making him suffer for what the whore did - but I do not have a good answer there

Because of its originality it's worth a 5, even though it is much more unrealistic than the average story.

Then it became the last of yours I will read

I agree with cantbuymy. Will wonders never cease?

Given the original story - the deed already done and him having already put up with this nonsense for over a year (by the end of this one over two years) you offered the only real escape for him. Divorce and starting over far away and completely disconnected from his family. For those readers who think him a loser for doing this, THINK AGAIN! He has regained self respect, dignity, and happiness, with a decent chance of finding someone to love again. David is the only one who acted with honor in this whole story. 5*

I could almost feel his pain and disgust over the manipulation that was being dealt out. Wonderful job of finishing a JPB story, something he has failed to do on more than one occasion. Maybe you could finish some of his other stories! Anyway - keep after it. Your story was very well done.

You're one of the best. Ignore the unemployed white trash.

A good exploration of the human issues. But the basic story by JPB is flawed.

A better alternative story would be for Dave to divorce Camryn BEFORE the baby is born, have his vasectomy reversed, connect with someone and make her pregnant. His parents are then faced with Camryn and baby who is not genetically related to them, or Dave and a baby who is related. What would they choose?

An excellent ending to JPB's mess. You did a very good job of describing his pain at being an unwilling cuckold, the Father of children that weren't his and the incredibly painful relationship he had with his spineless father and domineering mother. Now you need to finish other JPB stories! Start with "Nan's Boyfriends". Nan's husband needs rescuing.

awesome one of the best saves ever on this sight. and that jan Chicky is correct, men are not needed in a female society,but then again seeing as how they cant leave the cave because they the feminist women did not discover it...wait for it......electricity,flight,steam,gasoline,radiation,art,plays,construction,war(yes war us vs animals vs elements vs each other all necessary to push evolution..no man no walk up right,no leave cave at night),fishing,hunting,the fucking moon landing, all men with the aid of moms wives and sisters, we could do it all without women but we dont we share all of it, women carry babies they dont make them you have no direct input on the growth of a baby= pregnant +9months =kid, you are a host, you can kill the kid in you but you dont control the process it is in the dna, and as for having kids with fake sperm k fine, the artificial womb is being made and it is happening fast 20-40 years then your "life giving cross" you can set down that burden, artificial fembots carry the baby.....yeah its scifi now but they(men) are working on it, why

because women should not have to put up the burden(gift?) of child bearing for men for the species.

Jan given a choice between the women you represent or an artificial AI that will never treat you with contempt...who do you think your sons if you have any would pick.

You see women won the right to choose, but you woke the sleeping dragon ...men are now using freewill to choose as well, marriages on the decline world wide, population of signal moms way up why stick around 50/50 chance kids not his, the thing is mankind/market believes you, you dont need us, so we are moving on we will build something that will and love us...if there are many kinds of love this will be one.

explain that to future generations of women, why men dont touch women,bond with them, marry them, trust or love females any more in you lesbian anti-male world of the future you wish for.

If your world comes about well so will mine(that would be so sad) not all men are wimps and i gotta believe some women will fight for the hearts of men, for they ARE the reason we build,roads cars planes,music,poetry,medicine anything to make life easier we as men build for this kind of woman and i gotta believe they will beat the shit out of females like you if and yours try to destroy the love they have.

Dave grew some balls and finally ditched his cheating wife and his insane family. A vast improvement over the POS put out by that psycho JPB.

In your story, you let the slut live - in my version - she would be severely dis-figured and mostly dead to dis-allow future contamination of the gene pool.

How do you spell Shit.

You should continue on. JPB has SO many unfinished stories......