All Comments on 'Breaking the Family Ch. 01'

The leap from loving wife to whore is waaaaay too fast and too sudden. WHY is the husband being blamed for SIDS/ crib death? surely in 2009 everyone knows what SIDS is.

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and why before the infants death did his wife's father " dada" call him all those names.? He didnt say he did not like Tony. Dada called tony several slanderous names relating to Tony's business/ professional skills.

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WHY does TONY sit there and take that shit? The author starts to develop TONY as a guy who isnt afraid of the whore wife's rich and powerful daddy.

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Yet after the marriage... TONY becomes a super wimp. Thats fine but that need to be explained why.

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lastly 5 will get ya 10 Tony was NOT fired but "dada" put pressure on Tony bosses to fire him.

cant wait for chapter 2. does he get revenge or divorce her and find someone new?

This overgrown little girl is 20, fucked, pregnant, married, lost child. Wow, did you know many cases of SIDS can be caused by lack of parental care or even.......... A husband that allows his wife to act as she did wants her to fuck around. Set the house on fire and move out, who needs a slut for a wife, and he only married her because he got her pregnant, no real loss there. Damn dumb story of damn dumb low class assholes, even if they have money.

He should have already been gone, he nrver loved her, he's treated like shit and she is fucking 20. We Will see what happens next I guess but to me good ridence.

It was progressing nicely and then you went and fucked it all up. You're telling me that this smart, energetic and all around good guy suddenly fell off the rails and "lost" his job, lost his wife and lost his balls? Go fuck yourself you fucking wanker.

Having lived in LC for a while, and now living in Orange(someone from the area will know where I am talking about ;-) ) it was nice to see a story from my back yard. A little rushed, but it shows much promise...... Cannot wait for installment 2!

This is a guy who has done everything wrong - starting with getting involved with an oh-so-obvious teenaged slut. This is the kind of guy Jay Leno would ask: "What were you thinking?" A more appropriate question might be: "What were you thinking WITH?" I can't wait to see how the SIDS-death angle plays out. By any chance, did anybody check the baby's body for petichial hemorraging around the eyes? Or perhaps fibers in or around the nose and mouth? Can you say "Twenty-year-old amoral spoiled brat who wanted her own life back?"

Story shows a lot of promise. I look forward to the next chapter to see where it goes.

Nice story. Your writing is fine. I'd suggest that you give more reasons why certain things happen in the story. Why didn't he bug out when the baby died? Why did he put up with such disrespect from his wife and her family? Also, in your 2nd chapter, page 2, you skipped around between scenes so much it was almost like reading a "Snoopy" mystery (It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out. A woman screamed. A pirate ship appeared on the horizon ...) If you must jump around, put lines between each section so the reader knows you are about to jump. I assume that you did not allow comments in chapter 2 b/c of some of the overboard ones here. It does amaze me that they read the story then write such vile stuff. BTW, I'm also from LA, there is no commute in Lake Charles on 10 unless there is an accident. Thanks again.

It does sound like a train wreck... He should go to Washington and there would be no second chapter...

But it is a good setup for a more complex story if that is what will follow and it is well-written.

Too silly and unrealistic.

Thanks for sharing.

The marriage of one cheating asshole to another. Can it get worse? We'll see...

Another good one coming up here. I don't think Tony is going to be the fall guy in this little tale of the poor little rich bitch. I love your stories!

"I need that fucking pile driver here now." – He needs it “now”, but can’t remember ordering it?!

Her pubic hair is light brown so she’s a “natural blonde”?

“by not excluding Tony to the parties or Alicia's school functions that Anna was invited to” – How could they expect to invite Anna and not Tony to any events, no matter HOW much they don’t like him?

ego, tragedy and social lifestyle do not make longevity. TK U MLJ LV NV

"The bartender knew damned good and well she wasn't twenty-one, the legal drinking age in Louisiana, but also knew that she could cause a little trouble for him." - How? If she bitches to her father, he's not going to mad at the bartender for not serving her!

He can wear long hair but not a mustache or a beard?

"Because, because, you're engaged, remember?" - Well, that didn't stop you from FUCKING her!

Fuck the slut, she and her whole snobby family aren't worth a second of your concern!

I was a little staggered to see her go from love to hate or perhaps just contempt so fast, but then I was also a little bothered by the rough way that he took her anal cherry. Maybe there was some lingering resentment there, on top of the SIDS and post-partum depression, to add to the family's hostility. It should be noted, of course, that the husband married Anna at least. I don't blame Paul for skipping town, mind you, since he had to know that it wasn't his.

It should also be noted that 18, not 21, is the legal drinking age in Louisiana the last time I checked. It's the one state that has thankfully bucked Federal pressure to treat young adults as kids.

incidentally the child perished also. TK U MLJ LV NV

a proper lw story. not the usual june cleaver with slutitis that passes for the norm.

Shit! He's 26 years old and not smart enough to at least use a condom? Stupid motherfucker.

1 star

Dada? Problems in married life

Old boyfriends more problems

He will soon get head straight and kick ass!!! If not shoot him

Pretty good opening chapter. We know who is good and who the evil bastards are. I can even guess who she is cheap with.

Good start here. Don't know how I have missed this one..

How this turns out, but I could see a possible RAAC here. Have to see where the author is going with this. Good start.

Hes better off without that slut wife and fucked up family.

If she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you!

He married a certifiable hoe and is surprised she hoes around on him? Ridiculous

JB44's first story and still one of his best.

Ho-Hum so far. The slut, is, was, and always will be a pig. He should be joyous that she's found that"real man that is able to support her". He should make his egress from the tramp and make a life for himself. LP

Tony the cuck should know better when you marry a rich whore

He deserves a lifetime of misery for being enough of a manwhore to sleep with another man's fiancé. That was both stupid and wrong. Bad actions have unpleasant consequences.

Thanks for sharing your work!

I loved it personally

Disjoint and often unclear.

It was clearly obvious she was a slut, Duh!