by GirlintheMoon
In 750 words you capture the hopelessness of conflict and the effect it has on those left behind. I also liked how you hinted at the government and the society of the day and left the rest open to interpretation. Good job.
…..for Cher to do a video based this story for her last huge chart busting hit. Hint : its one word, starts with B and ends with e.. Maybe Ariana Grande can do a cover of that tune with this GITM theme for her video ? She can be very hard on SNL comedians, but is able warble a little and quite easy to look at. Almost as easy as this story was to read and appreciate.
Ergo the Obvious Score
Full marks *****
This would fit very nicely with the single scene project!
I know this was limited by the word limit, but I find myself craving details of the larger context.
Maybe you could write that story!
Five stars!
This is some seriously good writing! Great job, and thanks for the hard work for us readers! Very good story.
I need to post something in Sci-fi about sentient erotica sites eating comments, 'cause my rather placid comment from earlier is missing.
Anywho, wonderful story. Poignant, sad and hopeful at the end.
Very few on this site paint an emotional word picture as well as GitM.
Lue
You packed a lot into your word limit. It felt like a much longer story. Nicely done.
I am under a charm when I read your words. Simply peerless. Thank you, Randi.
You have demonstrated the perfection possible in this form of storytelling.
Of all the other entrants to the 750-word event. Some of which are a bit pedestrian, some of which are quite clever or even just quite enjoyable; your story stands out, head (and shoulders!) above its peers.
My hat (well, proverbially, at least) is off to you.
This is a compelling scene that makes the reader want more. Please expand on this.
reasonable man
But maybe too good. It simply seems too short with far too little information. I appreciate the effort but am disappointed to not know more.
You've painted a complete picture of sadness, and hope, in 750 words. Five Stars. I hope some day you'll tell the rest of their story, we would like that.
Superb short story, the way you manage to capture the moment always gets to me.
It strikes me that before you mentioned newspaper and guns, this could have taken place at any period in history.
He could be a viking warrior, a WW1 soldier, a medieval peasant conscripted by his baron into his infantrymen...
Yes, great example of a short story. Impactful, powerful, heartbreaking. I would love to see this seed grow into a sunflower.
This precisely captures foreboding clouds on the horizon; the man’s repeated warnings bring to mind simmering calamity stoked with a fresh load of fuel. You, madam, punch above your weight.