All Comments on 'The Festival'

Not the story; it's wonderful. I just can't believe you hit a home run every time you come to bat. The amount of pleasure you give the rest of us is incalculable. Thank you for being you.

That would about the only imperfection in an otherwise perfect story. I don't usually read 9-page stories, but once I started I couldn't stop. Loved the ending. I did pick up on the fact that Mrs. Pritchard was Timothy's mother way early in the story, when she asked Victoria about her weekend after Timothy's first visit to her house. Agree with the previous poster, you've stepped to the head of the class as far as Romance writers on this site.

Yet somehow, you seem to make it float right by; the entire morning gone effortlessly into being absorbed into the lives of these people. I really couldn't find any part of this that was way too drawn out, or gratuitous overkill. I agree, that it seems you keep scoring Hit after Hit after Hit. Eventually, you'll have to bind up all your stories into one collection. You can call it DreamCloud's greatest hits, but it will be EVERY STORY you've ever written!

I am willing to allow that possibly for SOME readers, this longer narrative from the female POV, MIGHT be a thing best taken only if one is in a certain frame of mind, and ready for it. Like, maybe they would have to be in the mood for it, or else it won't touch them or resonate as deeply. But for me, name recognition ALONE was enough for me to trust in your skills, and then lose myself in the characters and struggles you blend and weave together to fuel and forge this cautiously emerging romance. I mean, I didn't KNOW I wanted to spend my morning with a 9 page romance when I had my first cup of coffee this A.M.......but I know that I am ALWAYS ready to read more from my favorite author!

So thanks so very much! Your ongoing success should be an inspirations for others, here. Just remember to take any jealous comments as the compliments that they actually are!

What a great fun read .Thank you.First time Ive read your work.I WILL read more.

Your story construction is exceptional. In many of these romance stories, they dissolve into a morass of treacle, with all characters proclaiming their undying love. You resisted that and still created a sweet romance with enough heat to keep us interested. I wouldn't have sent Doug to the looney bin, maybe killed him off in a Key West bar fight, but that's a minor detail. Very nice work.

It's a lovely story with a great relationship between the two mains. But I did feel like the baddie was a bit over the top evil. Like posting naked pictures of a girl who rejects you to her work is something that sadly happens these days. Catfishing a coworker to get contact details is a bit more out there but stuff like that does happen. But then tracking her down and actually attacking her and going so mad about it that he has to be locked up, over a girl he met once, nah that felt too obviously fictional it took me out of the story.

Thanks for The Festival. I have read all your stories, and love them all.

Keep up the good work -- or should I say good writing.

...so I don't know why I read this one.

Wonderful. Excellent story, well developed and good character building. Loved it!

Still a few extraneous words and spelling mistakes to annoy the pedant in me, but make no mistake, this was a story that really should have 6 out of 5.

Don't be too long before posting your next story, please.

Great read, really enjoyed this one.Happy tale with a great build up for a true romance!!

I have said this before but your style, imagery and balance ard fantastic. Ths was scary to read but well worth it.

5

Great job!

I loved it and I am sometimes adverse to longer stories. Romance with a capital R. From a 60 year old guy.

I agree with the consensus that DreamCloud is one of the top authors here, turning out one outstanding story after another. This one is no exception to that rule. The development of both the character of Victoria and Timothy, and their building romance, kept my attention. Catherine's solution to the crisis of the photos being sent to customers was entertaining and the whole situation lent some drama. The final attack by Doug and his subsequent downfall was a bit anticlimactic, but lent some closure for the reader since he was such a malicious character.

I did share some of the feeling described by an anon commenter above that Doug's obsession seemed extraordinary for someone that he had one encounter with. However, it didn't really put me off the story. I just considered that he was one of those unhinged people who develop a crazy obsession with someone. I would say, though, that it's the weakest point in a generally very strong story.

I've only read a couple of your stories, nevertheless I really enjoyed reading this one :) I'm a big sucker for these boss secretary romance stories, and this anal-boss-secretly-pining-for-his-secretary story is no different! This story is undoubtedly one of the best written romance stories I've read on Literotica. Looking forward to more amazing work from you!

I am so glad I took the time to read this lovely story. I especially appreciated the humour in the line My Eyes are Down Here.

Great story 5*****

I loved the way these characters connected, but I'm going to agree with Red Pill about Doug. That aspect felt like it belonged in a different story, especially the last bits.

Very real, very believable characters, great dialogue, and a plot that doesn't immediately reveal itself all add up to a very good read. I suspected early that Mrs. Pritchard was someone special, perhaps Timothy's mother, who might later serve a duex ex machina role, and she did. Doug was at best a minor character given too large a role. He must have been connected to track down Victoria, track down her friends, and go on a revenge rampage. It seemed too extreme over a girl he had met only briefly. The final scene emphasized his role rather than the central love story. A quibble, perhaps. But, this is some of the best writing on this site, altogether in another class.

here is incredible. A wonderfully well-made story.

Brilliant.. Thanks for taking the time to write this.

Every time I read one of your submissions I'm expecting the run of great tales to end, or at least to hit a speed bump, but you disappoint me again and again. Damn you! I couldn't be happier in my disappointment. 5 stars.

Well written. A good tale, well-told.

A beginning, a middle and an end.

what more could one ask?

HP

With many of the good writers on this site one comes to expect a certain voice in the authors stories. Yet you manage to maintain a creativity in your story telling that leaves me somewhat astonished as to your level of individuality for each story. Thank you for sharing your creativity with us.

But I found it a good read. Only thing telegraphed was the mom. Got that as soon as she talked to her.

This really was a well crafted story. Put up in this venue seems a waste, too many people will never have the chance to enjoy it.

Storytelling at its best. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories with us.

I almost stopped reading at page one when I saw it was 9pages long. I'm glad I didn't.

What more can I say , only you dream cloud could craft such wonderful romantic wonder . Thank you for sharing your creativity.

Unlike most people I seem to enjoy the longer stories especially when put out by you, and this one is deffinately no exception. I was kind of skeptic about it being from a females pov but knowing that you wrote it, man am I glad I took the chance on it. You had me hooked from the first page, the way you put everything together nicely it was definitely one of the best I have read in a while, I guess since you put out your last story!

I especially loved the scene of Tim's first work day... I spent the entire page giggling.

Loved it as usual, but I, too, wonder about Doug. I've reread the whole part of the Festival where he was involved, and there's not one word written that could give any hint as to Victoria's origin or work. She was introduced to him simply as "Victoria" - not Victoria Paddington from EL Corcoran Brokerage in a city far, far away, so how could he possibly find out who she was? She wasn't anything like falling-down drunk, so she would surely have remembered telling him any extra details.

Carlos didn't know her; it appeared that she had never been to Key West before, and Doug didn't know where she was staying. For him to then hook up with Susan the way he did, using his real name, really strains my credulity.

Putting that aside, I thought it was a great story - the boss testing the assistant to the limit to find out just how much she would tolerate, and then being comfortable enough in his own skin to risk everything for her by acting as her servant.

Well done, and five more stars!

I was dumb enough to read this on the train and spent the whole trip grinning like an idiot. Barely held in the laughter, especially when Victoria starts bossing Timothy around for the first time. Another great submission dreamcloud

When I first started reading this story.... I was expecting perfection.

When I had finished, I realized I had found it. What an entertaining piece of artistry!!!

Multiples of 5 stars AND a future Hall of Fame bonus. Kudos.

There, I finished my comment... Damn I-Pad!

Great story. I like your stuff. Congrats to Tim (the editor).

tim

Another fantastic story from a fantastic author. You never cease to amaze.

I read this once just to enjoy the story, and now I'm going through it again to see how you made it nine pages when I rarely get over three. Excellent work. The last part about Doug in the asylum was a little over the top, though. That's not how hospitals work today.

So many twists and turns, So many discoveries.

In a very small way they should be thanking Doug, every time he attacked, she got another promotion and raise, and driving her closer to Tim.

I love the sexiness of this story, subtle yet powerful. I like Catherine Pritchard and how you merged her into the story line as his mother. And I like reading about his little boy's eyes as my guy has those too. Great story and totally believable.

A story may include the odd grammatical error, i. e. a word left out, capitalisation after a comma. How can I recognise an error if I can't figure out what was meant? So, the few trivial errors are easy to see - and ignore.

Good communication is the ability to convey meaning, and the minor errors do interfere with my understanding! Sometimes an author gets minor real-world facts wrong. One test of a good story is suspension of disbelief. DreamCloud accomplishes that hands down. It is very easy, and enjoyable, to find myself engrossed in his stories.

(1) I am a software (Unix/Linux) expert, and (2) a private pilot, and I have read stories with major computer or aviation errors, but unless the erroneous "fact" is the foundation of the story it does not prevent suspension of disbelief.

Just ignore the errors and enjoy the marvellous story.

I just wanna say that this is the best story I have EVER read...and I have read over 400 books (different varieties) when first reading this book I was expecting the kinky erotic shorts you would normally find on this site. Instead I found new materials such as the body painting, hanging with the girls and a young woman growing into herself and changing. I would love to see more of this. in conclusion, I think that you have serious abilities to become a published author. Thanks so much for a great read.

P.S. I loved the name for the Main character....My name is also Victoria. lolz!!

I guessed the ending on the first page, but I couldn't have guessed, in a million years, the how! Awesome story! Thank you Mike

With Amazon, Netflix, HBO and others making movies you can certainly get this in as a sexy screenplay somewhere - try, it's worth it!

Amazing story.keep going on man

Besides the very cool plot, it's really fun to read. In turns intimate, funny, sexy, suspenseful, and with masterful pov. I, too visualized this dramatized, and agree with the comment about the many online venues for it.

"It looks good; buy it," Kendra said. I always ignored her advice on clothes. She didn't need to worry about anything below her chest. Men never looked lower than that anyway."

THAT is how to describe a full bust without silly numbers giving you ll the fun and none of the amateurism

This is the best short story I have ever read. You did a great job developing the characters and shifting gears when we weren't expecting it! Great emotional roller coaster ride!

Keep writing!!!

Again, I was surprised at every new turn!

Baton Rouge, LA Cajun

A very pleasant short story. It was difficult to interrupt my reading, even to take the dog outside, or eat a meal.

I loved this story which was long on story and the psychology of relationships and shorter on compulsory sex scenes, but still high on eroticism. Wish more stories here had more original plots, better storytelling, and more interesting characters.

Thanks for a great job !!

I truly enjoyed this story. The adventure and romance with just the right touch of naughty. I know I will be reading this again and again.

Best story I've read in weeks, first visit to the site, serendipity guided me to this story and I was hooked in the first page.

Most impressed.

Great story, beautifully told. Each one seems to get better than the last, and the first started high on the scale. You've got some serious readers too! The point about how Doug caught up with her for example, and theoretically could not have done, and perhaps the point about how the 'lunatic asylum' works today, though I would not be sure the reader is right when it is a prison/hospital. I guess this should be publishable, particularly as the sex is so well but not crudely described; if not, you must be heading in that direction fast.

This is one of the best stories I have ever read on this site. The quality of the writing and the 'clean' sex scenes make it an excellent candidate for publishing.

The part about Mrs. Pritchard being the mother was cleverly telegraphed in advance, yet I never could have guessed that she would arrange a protest with the body artist and a famous actress.

As some other readers have noted, Doug's character sticks out as being too shallow. That could be an area for expansion - make him more involved with Victoria and Susan, and give him more reason to seek revenge.

The part about a secretary at a Wall St. firm (Susan) sending a client list by email to someone she never met is just too stupid even for fiction. I also work in IT - they would never stop an investigation like that as a favor, even at the CEO's request. Both Susan and Doug probably would have wound up in jail, and some IT guy would be the hero. Victoria being photographed on the float was not something illegal; if the firm tried to fire her for that she could sue and win. Get Doug more involved, maybe he gets Victoria's work info and then Mrs. Pritchard's through some sort of hack. Then make the ending more complete - maybe he has a knife when he goes to Victoria's house, and Timothy kills him or at least leaves him permanently disabled.

Amazingly written, had me hooked to the very end!!! And yes Doug should be dead period!!! You write as well as any number one top author I have ever read!

Loved the power play between them... And I loved their style of communication. They never really withheld anything important. Also, the whole stalking roller coaster was on point.

This is one of my favorite stories. Never stop writing!

I didn't want this story to end. This was my first visit to the site and I hope to read more from you.

So many deliciously written little nuggets in this story. Great work!

See above

My god, you are beyond good! I need to put a name (and hopefully a face as well) to my idol! You definitely deserve to be published. Your stories are more deserving than most books nowadays.

E-mail me please! I want to get to know my idol better...

chloeco_bcnhs07@yahoo.com

You are an excellent writer. You make your characters come a live. As the title says, this is my second favorite story. My favorite is Rehab. Please keep writing. I love your style of writing.

I didn't really like the tone of the start to this one, then, YOU SUCKED ME IN AGAIN!!! One hell of a story, at this rate every one of your stories is going to end up on my favorite stories list, with 5 stars, only because I can't give you more than 5...

enjoy your twisted imagination too. Scotty

I haven't been back on literotica for a couple of months now. I was bored with the mediocre stuff that gets published here. then I suddenly I remembered you and thought I would check in and see if you have anything new written. voila. thank you for writing and sharing.

Best,

Rohan

Terrific tall tale...really enjoyed it.

Great story once again. I think that this is one of my favorites from you. Please continue to write more -- I love reading all stories by you.

Great story teller. Characters come alive. Great plot development as always. Keep it up.

...another **5** from DreamCloud!

...to read one of your stories, whether for the first time or on a repeat visit.

The more I read of yours (I have read most, but not all, at this point), I am struck by the wide range your muse covers. It would be difficult to say that any of your stories are like any of the others.

On that note, about half way through this I realized that I couldn't recall any of your others told from the female's POV. If this was indeed your first, great job! If not, I guess I need to keep reading (which I would do anyway).

Well written, with fully-realized and believable characters. Who are ever-so-slightly OTT, but enjoyable nonetheless.

It's gratifying to see one of the site's better authors still working, and putting out the good stuff. Thank you.

Rewrite and expand the sex scenes. This is erotic literature is it not?

This story was absolutely enthralling. Where the (plenty intense, thank you) sex scenes ended, the plot took over. Bit of a slow start with the foundational first sex scene, sure, but I actually didn't feel cheated or dissatisfied in any way. Despite what the previous commenter said, I feel the sex and story balanced out well. This is, after all, not your average wank tale.

damn good read thank you

The development of your creative ability over the past year is remarkable, and I regard this story as I would a dissertation by a graduate student.

Your pacing drew me on, reading faster and faster. The sex scenes were handled well, balancing excitement and good taste. The scene in the body painter's studio, where Victoria's shyness was warring with her need to show off, as her inhibitions gradually dissolved in alcohol, was a masterpiece.

Your writing shows that you are more confident than before, and more willing to drag your reader through the ups and downs that your leading character is feeling. You had me by the middle of page one, and you knew it; from there on, the bumpier the ride got, the tighter I hung on!

Loved the pace- This was written in the romance section, so for those who say "expand the sex scenes"really need take a step back, reevaluate their statement because they missed it. This is another GREAT piece of work! Bravo!!

... that this story is over. I loved the characters, loved the development of their relationship, and would love to read more about them in a sequel. Very nicely done. Thank you!

VisualPerv

This deserves a second pass. The Characters are intense and interesting.

The interactions are well laid out and roll smoothly into the story.

Ramjet

I have just read this story for the fourth time. I rarely read anything twice. The character 'Timothy Griffin' resonates with me more than any other character I have ever read; the writing is succinct, precise, excellent.

the story seems to flow so effortlessly I have a hard time stopping when other things need my attention. I want to read until the end!

I first read this more than two years ago and since then I have read it more times than I can remember. This is one of my favourite stories. A job well done! Congratulations on a successful book. You should publish it!

Strange but somehow believable characters in this intriguing story. Ironic that every time the perp did something evil it eventually backfired on him. Five stars for sure.

At the first I did not like it but due to the other stories I continued to read. You surprised me at the ending turned a 2/3* story into a 5*. You are a magician and a wordsmith, thank you.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

That though this was just a story, there really ARE people out there as fucked up as Doug...

Kind of a less BDSM version of the movie Secretary... Liked it even more than that movie though...

As always, thanks for the awesome writings..

If someone else's name was on this story, I wouldn't have read past the first couple of pages. You didn't let me down. You continue to surprise and delight me with your stories. Thank you for sharing them with me.

Wow, what a story! I am blown away by the talent of the author to take words and weave them into a truly enjoyable story with a great ending!

(yes I guess if I were as OCD as Timothy there would be red marks everywhere but since I am not, I can overlook the occasional error)

I love the way you build the characters in your stories. Not just a sex story, but a story that puts meat on the characters. Love to read your stories. This was very well written, a pleasure to read. Not many stories on erotic online sites have been written with the skill that you have.

This was wonderful--so much better than the "Fifty Shades of Grey" I saw on UVerse the other night, which did nothing to explain BDSM at all, and apparently turned off a lot of people to the story. The power exchange here was lovely--romantic and erotic.

I previously read "The Cotillion", and I enjoyed the characters of the mothers in both stories. I am used to reading of so many terribly interfering, abusive mothers of sons in Loving Wives, that it is a joy to read of intelligent, supportive mothers and mothers-in-law. Maybe such characters are a tribute to your own mother?

You know such wonderfully flawed characters, Tim/Mr. Griffin and Victoria are just two in a long list of really interest and likable prople that you have bestowed me with the gift of knowing. (Damn, I need a "comment editor". ) Good job!

DHL

And this is one of them. Spectacular story telling. Maybe droned a bit towards the last quarter, but overall so very deliciously good! What a writer you are, You are up there with the Adrian Leverkuhn's, Lovercraft/s, Metamorphosis, DQS, TUO, laptopwriter, Dtversion etc. I rarely travel outside loving wives section, but I am going to have to for you.

Promise is still maybe the best story I have read, anywherre, in a long time. Pls get that turned into a movie!

Always a good read, but you excelled yourself with this one!!

Fading out on a padded cell isn't the ending that flows with this story. Regardless your work is still enjoyable.

After I read The Cotillion, I read this story. At the middle of the first page, I was thinking that I don`t like the story, but I continued, and at the end, I see a wonderful story, well written, full of feelings, friends, and love. Of coarse, one bad boy also, but all the things that Doug make, don`t destroy the relationship between Victoria and Timothy, they love are greater than Doug black heart.

5* for you!

You`re one of my favorites author in this section.

Congratulations for your work!

Excellent story - interesting, light hearted, and occasionally erotic. Don't know where DC gets these fabulous plots from. Dialogue is excellent. Six-star story in a five-star world.

Your plots, characters, twist are by far some of the best reading on this site. If I knew that you wrote books, I would go and buy them. 9 stars! The only thing that fell apart for me in this story was the relationship between the girls. Girls talk and there is no way based on the other two characters that they would have let Victoria go without spilling some juicy details.

I, too, reread this and although I knew most of the plot pieces ahead of time, it was still a great read. The really sad part is that I've now read through Dream Cloud's entire offering and don't see much recent work. The creativity we've all seen in these stories appears to have run out and we'll have to be resigned to rereading every once in a while. Still better than reading much of the other drivel that we're offered. Thanks for the memories!

I absolutely loved this story!!! This is just perfect. I just can't wait to read more from you. Please keep writing, I love your style!!!

I loved the story. You have a wonderful way of writing. Thank you for ALL of your stories.

You are a true master. 100 stars

I will continue reading your list of stories until I finish them all.

I lived in Plantation FL and visited Key West.

It's more fun than Mardi Gras.

By the way, the best beach if FL is Haulover beach.

It is on the north east side of Miami and is TOTALLY clothing optional.

I've spent many a pleasant afternoon with over 2,000 naked friends. 😎

And it's free to access.

You need to visit and write a multi-threaded opus.

loved how it unfolded and rolled along at a goodly pace....

I love how you refer to 'the rum filled mirrors fooling me' and 'the rum was excited too'. It sets a tone early that shows how Victoria has abdicated some of her shyness to the alcohol - both to use it as justification for her actions and simultaneously acknowledge that she wasn't acting her normal self... but not really:

"Backup plans are important for brave chickens." That was a whole paragraph on who Victoria - fantastic.

From there it just... bloomed. The fits and starts of real life made the revelations of not simple compatibility, but genuine connection all the more pleasing to watch unfurl.

I am glad I went forward with another of your Romantic tales.

Though 'Rehab' was fantastic, I needed the HEA that 'Festival' so nicely provided.

Jason

Bravo!!! You are amazing. Wonderful story.