by CyranoJ
very well written and a plot I had never had the pleasure of viewing before. it took me 3 days to finish it but well worth the effort of re-finding my place every time I looked it up again.
Glad you found the story worthwhile -- I know it's a bit long and demanding, so I appreciate people reading through. :D
This is one awesome ride. Thank you for sharing, Cyrano. I enjoyed this immensely. It
is epic and heartfelt and truly HOT. Brilliant writing.
It was an awesome read. At first I was a little skeptical about the length but I truly enjoyed it and absolutely loved the ending :-)
Wow. WOW. This is not normally my kind of story (I checked it out because of the combination of "public" and "gangbang" tags), but I am so glad I didn't click back after the initial skinhead stuff. This was epic and incredibly hot and well worth the read. My sore clit and I thank you!
And thanks to the reader who stayed despite having come looking for some tagged items that, in retrospect, aren't really that big an element of the main action. I'm trying to avoid misleading tags but it's a bit of a work in progress. Cheers and glad you enjoyed anyway.
Oh My Gawd. This was super long. But I loved it. Great read! 5 stars!
This is not a story I normally would have opened, but after reading some of your others I decided to give it a go and I'm very glad that I did!
I read this story when I first came here, before I started scoring or commenting. It is well written with originality... it is also much longer than the average story on here. I'm giving it a five.
And thanks to other commenters I haven't mentioned as well.
I started reading and getting into it, then saw George and Lennie. Of Mice and Men ripoff? Ok. Kept reading and soon gave up on the story. It was too derogatory for me... too borrowed.
... to actually write this as an Of Mice and Men ripoff. The characters are actually name Cami and Lennie but I can't help but wonder if that isn't a missed opportunity. ;)
Hey, every story can't be for everyone. I'm curious what you thought it was derivative from, though? What did it remind you of? Thanks for taking the time to comment.
hey Cyrano:)
didn't quite find 'the heart like a lion' even till the end of the story!! ;))
otherwise twists and turns thrilling!! too long...but enjoyable ish reading!! :)
Hi. That was very impressive. Thanks for the quality read and the creative use of adjectives. I would have never usually found myself reading a story with those types of characters but the characters were fun, diverse and well-planned. 5
Thank you for the comments. They are always appreciated! Glad you enjoyed the story!
Great story, with twists and turns that don't feel contrived. Oh, and the safe word is classic, I'm stealing it for ours; after I write it down.
At first I thought about skipping it for a couple of reasons. First, it is rather long compared to other stories here and second, I don't normally read (let alone enjoy) stories about skinheads, nazis or racism in general. However, for some reason I did decide to read it.
I am so glad that I did read it!
While the "erotica" parts are likely what caused you to place it here, that was in fact the second best part of the story (in my opinion). The best part, to me, was how the girls discovered just how misplaced, or wrong, their beliefs in one race being better than another was.
It's fun to write character growth, even if it's messed-up and pervy character growth, so I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it.
Your remarkable story has one major flaw: CamI stopped being Cami wrong.
Obviously, Cami will evolve as a slam 'er skin (got 'em) and a thinker. Her characterization fell almost completely apart in the office negotiation, though. Lenni and Max and everyone else- the twins, Mau Mau, everybody- felt real. Cami was always the most extreme char, but that was awesome and got the story to 10/10. The tasing and eyes-fear were legit but were the last part that she was on track. Her deutschus ex machina "plan" was not in character. Lenni following it somehow still was. You are GOOD.
If you rework Cami to in her own way equal Lennie or even just Max as far as motivations and imagery, This single-flaw 8/10 returns to 10/10
Also Euro soccer posters looooolle.
Rock on!
Thanks for the note on Cami's characterization. I'll have to have a think about it. Glad you enjoyed, at any rate. Cheers!