Was It All Worth It

"Got a second, Bill?"

"Of course, come on in."

I frowned when she shut the door expecting something bad was coming.

"Bill, does the company have a rule against dating other employees?"

I hated her asking me that. I was hoping to get to ask her out. It looked like I was too late.

"No. We have a strong sexual harassment policy. That policy protects just about everything a failed relationship between co-workers could damage and if two people can't work together after a break-up, that's their fault, not the company's."

"Good. That's what I was hoping for," she said as she placed a folded piece of paper on my desk.

"What's this?" I asked.

"My address and phone number. I expect you over for dinner tomorrow night. Mia will be joining us."

I smiled and agreed.

"Good. You're a good man, Bill. You deserve to be happy and I'd like to give you a second chance at happiness."

She dashed out of my office with a cute spring in her step and I was looking forward to our dinner.

***

"Hi, it's Dad checking in. I hope all is well with you and your sister. Usual stuff in my world, except a woman at work, asked me out to dinner. Well, anyway I love you and miss you. Please call me soon. Bye."

I knew leaving that message would cause some issues, but I still didn't care. I had to move on and I was excited about Missy stepping up to the plate, as she did.

Missy was a beautiful woman with an even more beautiful personality. Her daughter was precocious and adorable and I already met her parents. I felt like I was finally ahead in the game.

It was only fifteen minutes later when Katy texted me: "I can't believe you're dating already. You're a real bastard."

I laughed when I read it. I never realized how delusional she was. To think I would sit and stew over her was insane. Maybe some guys would lament and mourn the loss of their marriage at the hands of a cheating wife, but that wasn't me.

I was young enough at forty-one to find love again. Hell, I was young enough to have more kids if I wanted. That was something to think about. Missy was in her early thirties, she may want more children down the road.

I knew it was too early to have those thoughts, but as a single mother, those things were probably at the top of Missy's potential suitor's traits. I'm sure she was looking for a husband, not a plaything. Although, I certainly was not opposed to being her plaything. I hadn't been laid in months.

***

The next evening I showered and shaved after work and dressed casually. I looked in the mirror and didn't mind what I saw.

I was in good shape with no spare tire or love handles. I had a full head of brown hair with no gray hair peeking through yet. I had a great job that paid well and I had money in the bank. I figured I wasn't a bad catch for any woman let alone a younger woman like Missy.

Then I realized that I had no idea how to date someone. When you're married, you're always together and you know everything about each other. There was no issue with holding hands or kissing. When you got home from a night out, you knew sex was on the table. There was comfort in the status quo.

Jesus! I had to learn how to have sex all over again.

I knew every spot on my ex-wife that gave her pleasure. I knew when she wanted it hard and when she wanted to be made love to slowly. I knew where her G-spot was and that she liked a finger in her rear when she was cumming.

I had to hope that the next woman I had sex with liked the same stuff or at least communicated well.

I feared I wasn't ready to date and I regretted jumping into the dating scene so quickly.

***

I knocked on her townhouse door with a bottle of wine, flowers, and a stuffed animal. I figured it wouldn't hurt to get on Mia's good side.

When she opened the door, I was blown away by what I saw. Her curly red hair was down over her shoulders and she had the perfect amount of makeup on.

She wore a billowy sundress that stopped about four inches above her knees, showcasing her wonderful legs. She was barefoot and her toes were painted hot pink matching her fingernails.

She laughed and asked, "Do I pass inspection?"

"God, yes!" I said before I could take it back.

She laughed harder and took the flowers and wine from me. "Mia's watching TV. Go ahead and say hi. She's gonna love the bear."

She wandered off into the kitchen and I knelt next to Mia. "Hi, sweetie. I brought you a bear."

She cautiously looked up at me and then lit the room up with her smile. She held out her hands for the bear and ran off to show Missy once she got it into her arms.

She brought back some good memories of Jenny and Jill at that age. I realized how long it had been since I spoke to them and I missed them even more.

"What's wrong?" Missy asked snapping me from my thoughts.

I forced a smile and said, "Nothing. I was just thinking of my daughters when they were Mia's age."

"Are things that bad now?" She asked.

"They still aren't talking to me at all. Katy turned them against me and I can't bring them around. I still try though. I leave them messages every other day and won't stop."

"I'm sorry, Bill. I know it's horrible for you."

"Every day. I know they listen to my messages though. I told them about our date tonight and Katy texted me to tell me I was an asshole for moving on so quickly."

"I'm sorry, it's not too quick, is it?" She bit her lip and looked damn cute doing it.

"Maybe," I said honestly, "but I'm happy to find that out with you."

She smiled and took my hand, "Dinner is ready. I hope you like pasta with meat sauce."

"Sounds great."

"Oh! I have garlic bread too, so you have to be ready to deal with that later when we're on the couch kissing."

Mia giggled and I stood shocked at Missy being so forward.

She saw my discomfort and said, "Bill, we're both adults and I've known you for three years. I know what kind of man you are and there's not much getting to know you needed to know I like you a lot. You're about to be a hot commodity and I'm staking my claim early."

"Hot commodity?" I asked.

"Yep. You have no idea all of the scuttlebutt news of your divorce has caused in the store. Honey, you coming on the market, so to speak, has many of the single ladies attention. You're a handsome man in good shape, you're smart, stable, and we all know how you feel about fidelity."

I was feeling pretty good when I sat down at her table.

"So, I'm jumping in line early," she finished.

I took her hand and squeezed it. "I like you too."

Mia not wanting to be left out said, "Skettie's my favorite."

"I like skettie too. The slurpier the better," I said. I saw the can of Parmesan cheese on the table and added, "And you gotta have extra stinky cheese."

She giggled and said, "It's not stinky cheese. It's parm-er...parm-uh..."

"Stinky cheese," I said bringing the can to my nose, pretending it was the worst smell ever. "Whew! That's extra stinky cheese."

Missy shook her head as I handed the can to Mia. She smelled it, shrugged her shoulders, and poured a generous amount onto her spaghetti.

We kept the dinner conversation light. I asked about Mia's pre-school class and her friends. She had no problem chirping away, telling me every detail she could remember. I thoroughly enjoyed the talk.

After a while, I realized Missy wasn't talking. She had a big grin and was merely watching me and her daughter banter back and forth with each other.

Eventually, she started gathering plates and I said, "Let me help."

"Oh, no. She hasn't told you about her favorite TV shows yet."

She laughed as Mia started filling me in on all the best kid's shows.

***

After putting Mia to bed, Missy returned and sat next to me on the couch. I handed her a glass of wine and she sighed contentedly as she lifted her feet onto the ottoman.

"I love being a mom but sometimes, this is the best part of the day for me."

Instinctively I put my arm around her. As she leaned into me I said, "It's worse with two."

"I bet it was. Do you think your girls will come around?"

"I hope so," I answered pensively. "I'm putting forth all of the efforts right now, but it's still raw for them."

She turned and kissed my cheek.

"You're a great father. Just don't give up the fight for them."

She set her glass down and sat back. "Bill, I've already told you I like you a lot and I'm too old to play the will we or won't we game. I would like to continue to see you and that includes inviting you into my bedroom."

I was going to tell her that we don't have to but she lifted her shush finger.

"I know you want to be a gentleman and all that, but that's not necessary. What I'm trying to say is I don't want to be your fuck buddy or friend with benefits. I'm warning you now that I am looking for an exclusive relationship. I have a daughter to think about and honestly, she needs a daddy as much as I want a husband."

I tried to speak again but once more got shushed.

"This conversation usually ends with the guy picking up and running. I don't think you're that way but I'm giving you an out. If you want to sow your oats and test out the single life, I'm not your girl. If you want to see if we have a shot for the long haul, then I'm your woman."

"Wow," I said. "Did you prepare that speech or was it off the cuff?"

She frowned misinterpreting my feelings.

"Missy, like you said, we've known each other in a working relationship for three years. These past few weeks of having coffee together have been very nice.

"I'm a family man, it's all I've ever been. I don't know how to be single and the idea of dating scares the hell out of me. If my wife could've kept her legs closed, I'd still be a happily married family man. No, I don't want to play the field."

She smiled and took my hand. I continued, "You're beautiful, smart, and you make a mean spaghetti."

She laughed and slapped my shoulder playfully.

"I'd like to be your boyfriend. Consider me locked in towards building something good for all of us. Including your little girl."

We didn't make love that night. As much as I wanted to take her right there on her couch, I felt taking things slow would be best. She practically professed her love for me and was coming on very strongly, I thought slowing things down would be better for my comfort level.

***

I got a gift from the gods when I received an application for a manager slot I had open.

I never got the name of the punk kid that ended my marriage so I couldn't exact any amount of revenge on him, but when he showed up to interview for my overnight manager job, I recognized him immediately.

I knew he'd never recognize me, but he might have recognized my name, so I had Ann interview him and hire him on the spot.

On his second night of work, I waited in the parking lot for him to begin his shift. I walked up to his 90's beater car and placed a forty-inch TV I bought at a competitor in the backseat.

We carried the same model and I happened to know one of them was conveniently misplaced in the stock room.

In the morning I timed my arrival to coincide with his shift ending. I walked him out to his car, idly chatting about what he thought of his team of guys. When we got there I noticed the TV in his backseat and pretended to be shocked.

"Jeff, did you buy the TV before your shift? We aren't open yet."

"No, Bill. That's not mine. I don't know how it got there."

"Jeff, I think we need to go back into the store."

"Bill, you have to believe me. Check the cameras."

I shook my head and said, "Alright. Bring the TV."

We walked back into the store and the kid was scared to death. I thought he was going to cry at one point.

We didn't have overnight security because with the store closed overnight and having a night crew in the store, we didn't need it. What we had were cameras everywhere and there was only one place the security cameras could be turned off. Only managers had a key to that room.

There was a camera facing the door to the room but it was above a doorway to the stairwell. I told corporate security about that issue a few years before, but they never rectified it. That made it easy to open the stairwell door, reach up, and cover the camera with a piece of black tape. Then I turned off the security camera system. Well, technically I unplugged the computer that ran the system.

When I walked him into the room and he saw the computer wasn't running, he panicked and kept pleading his innocence as I called the police per policy.

When all was said and done, the kid got a conviction for a minor felony and got no jail time. I had hoped he'd get a couple of months, but it wasn't an expensive enough TV.

He had to perform a ton of community service and pay a fine which surprisingly was more than I paid for the TV. With a felony on his record, he'd also have a hard time finding a job in retail. That made me happier but still wasn't worth the risk I took.

I did get a security upgrade from corporate out of it, which included parking lot cameras. They were long overdue.

He was so stupid, he never figured out that I did it. He tried to blame the crew for setting him up, but couldn't prove anything. They didn't miss him when I fired.

***

On a brisk Saturday morning, a week after my dinner with Missy, I saw her waiting in her car to stay warm. After I parked next to her, she met me at my door and greeted me with a nice kiss.

"Are we still on for dinner tonight?" She asked.

"Absolutely."

"Good. I've got something special I'm making for us. You won't want to miss it."

"I wouldn't..."

"Is this the tramp?" Katy asked from behind me cutting me off.

"Excuse me?" Missy shouted, her claws fully unsheathed.

"Katy, what do you want?" I asked, annoyed.

"I've been trying to reach you. Did you block my number?"

"Yes. After your 30 texts about me being a bastard for moving on, I had enough. What do you want?"

"I want to talk about the girls. We need to figure college out."

"They can go wherever they want. I've made sure the money is there for them. I'd like to be involved but since you poisoned them against me, they won't speak to me."

"They are afraid you won't pay for school."

"Of course I'll pay for it. I still love them even though because you can't keep your legs closed I lost them in the divorce."

Missy laughed.

Katy glared at her and said, "It's not my fault you couldn't forgive me for one slip."

"Oh? One slip? It was only once because you weren't discreet about it. I confronted you immediately."

"Whatever! You should still be my husband. We should still be a family."

"You're delusional. You cost me my marriage, my family, my daughters, and my mother. I swear to you, you'd better never date a man and I find out about it. You'll never see a second date. No one wants to date a cheating slut. Unless they know your reputation and are just looking for an easy lay."

I turned and walked towards the store. I heard shouting behind me and turned to find Missy having Katy backed up against the car with her finger in her face.

"Stay the hell away from my man, bitch. You threw him away and I picked him up."

I ran back and pulled her away.

"Stop, Missy. She's not worth the trouble."

"You heard me, bitch!" She shouted at Katy before turning and walking towards the store.

"Please leave, Katy. We're done and that's your fault. Yours and yours alone."

I left her sobbing by the cars.

I ran to catch up to my huffing Missy and took her hand. She looked up and smiled at me as she slowed down.

"I'm sorry, Bill. I guess I was being too territorial."

"Oh no! I like having women fighting over me in the parking lot. It's great for my ego."

We laughed and went inside to get some work done.

***

Later that morning, I got a call from my mom. When I answered, she grunted, "Billy, I'm..." She didn't finish and I heard a thud but the call didn't end. I hung up and called back to no answer.

I called 911 to have them send an ambulance to her house and they told me a call had already come in from her residence.

I feared the worst and told Ann to cover me as I had to go. She understood and as I ran through the store, I blew past Missy who shouted after me. I ignored her and ran straight to my car.

When I got to my mom's house, the ambulance was pulling away so I followed it. When I walked up to the opening back doors, I found out she was gone before the ambulance arrived at the hospital. She must've lost consciousness when we were on the phone.

I cried as I sat in the lobby of the emergency room. I sat there alone, thinking of the last thing my mom said to me. What was she going to say? Would it have been, I'm in trouble? I'm having a heart attack? I'm sorry?

My phone rang and it was Missy.

"Hey, um, my Mom just died."

"Oh, Bill. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm afraid I won't be good company tonight."

"No, I'm going to be with you. You need me, please let me come over."

"Okay, yeah," I said. I didn't want to be alone and I was glad she was willing to be with me.

"I'm on my way home. Meet me there after you get off."

"Okay. See you soon."

I ended the call and walked out to my car. Instead of driving home, I went to my old house. I needed to tell my girls, whether they wanted to see me or not.

When I pulled up I saw both girls' cars in the driveway and sighed. I never imagined the first words we would speak to each other being news like this.

I didn't care that I didn't live there anymore, I keyed the passcode into the garage door opener and walked inside. Katy's car wasn't there and I was glad about that. I don't think I was in the frame of mind to see her.

The living room and kitchen were empty so I went upstairs to the bedrooms.

"Dad!" Jill shouted as I walked into her room.

"What do you want?" Jenny shrieked as she came in behind me. "Did you come to beg? Well, you can go to..."

"Grandma had a heart attack and died this morning," I said cutting her off.

They both gasped.

"I just thought I should tell you that in person. I'll go to hell now."

I walked out and closed the door behind me. I heard Jenny yell for me to wait, but I ran out to my car and drove off.

I went to the little lake where I'd spent so much happy time with the girls. It was too cold for paddle boats, but the water was starting to thaw and was very peaceful.

I sat on the picnic bench and cried again. That time it was for the loss of my daughters as much as my mother. The vitriol in Jenny's voice told me that I wasn't wanted in her life. She didn't have to tell me to go to hell. Her tone said it all for her.

I wondered if I'd made a mistake somewhere along the way. Not with Katy, but with the girls. What did I do that was so wrong to make them hate me so much? Katy was the one that destroyed our marriage. Why couldn't my daughters understand that?

I don't know how long I sat there, but I heard someone walk up. I spun around and it was Katy and the girls.

"How did you find me here?" I asked after turning around to look out at the lake again.

"You didn't disconnect our find a phone app sync," Katy said. "Bill, I'm sorry about your Mom."

"Yeah?" I spat. "Sorry for her death or are you sorry that you turned her against me and she died without us reconciling?"

She didn't say anything.

"Leave me alone, I can't deal with your shit right now," I continued. "I'll never forgive you for what you've done to me. The last words we spoke were her telling me she wouldn't speak to me again until I manned up and dropped the divorce. She didn't even say she loved me when she hung up on me."

"I'm so sorry, Bill. For everything."

I heard her walk away and Jenny said, "Daddy, we're sorry too. Please forgive us for being bitches."