On Channel 12

"Why not one with Chelsea?" Milt asked. "She help me every now and then,"

"Milt, you not just another pretty face," John agreed.

But the first show with Cheryl Goodwin was very nearly over before it even started. Without a teleprompter in front of her, Cheryl was truly at a loss of what to say or how to act and angered the usually quite easy going Milt with her inane statements.

"And my girls, they always 'Daddy, why you buy leg quarters all the time?' and I tell them, 'Got five of us eating? You get what don't cost too much,'" Milt smiled as he cut the meat into cubes.

"I get the skinless boneless chicken breast; it's a lot lower in calories," Cheryl Goodwin offered.

"And it just you and them four or five cats," Milt said.

Bill Henderson chuckled as Cheryl digested that comment.

"And my girls say 'Daddy, you show them how make that peanut chicken, huh?'" Milt said. "Now, you get you about a tablespoon of peanut oil..."

"But if you're allergic to nuts, you can always use canola oil," Cheryl offered.

"Cut, cut, turn them cameras off yeah," Milt demanded.

"I don't know how you get this job and I don't care no," Milt snarled to the quite startled Cheryl. "But you say one more stupid thing you leaving out of here and I'm serious."

"What? What do you mean?" Cheryl asked.

"If they allergic to nuts, WHY would they be cooking Peanut Chicken?" Milt screamed and Bill had to rush into the employee bathroom because he was laughing so hard.

Jack Graham did provide slightly more comedic moments when he donned an oven mitt to handle the hot skillet and pretended that the bulky mitt was a sock puppet.

"You don't argue with Mr. Mitt; you going lose yeah," Milt said, tapping the oven mitt on Jack's hand as they prepared 'Campfire Chili' together.

"Now, Thomas, Mary all in bed and she's 'oh I'm so sick, you got go feed them eighteen, nineteen kids we got?'" Milt said as he put Thomas to work whisking up some eggs.

"It's only four," Thomas laughed.

"Only four he says, huh Mary?" Milt smiled into the camera. "No, he don't know what you going through, does he?"

"And you cut up some onion, some bell pepper and I know, you got one or two, they all picky and 'oh I don't like onion no' and I just tell them, 'oh, okay, I don't put none in yours,'" Milt said, chopping the vegetables up fine. "And you cut them up real small and they don't know, and you use this grater thing and you do them potatoes like this?"

Vee Aucoin had modified her black shirt, ripping it so that it came up to just underneath her 34C breasts. Her olive slacks likewise had been modified into Daisy Duke shorts that showed the flaps of her front pockets on her tanned thighs.

Her long brown hair was tied back in a ponytail and she smirked into the camera.

"Now we doing us jalapeno soup; you ever have that?" Milt asked the attractive girl.

"No but it sounds...hot," Vee crooned, smiling at Milt.

"Believe it or not? It ain't that hot, I mean, yeah, it got some heat, but it ain't burn your mouth hot," Milt said and showed Vee and the camera the jalapeno peppers he was washing.

"You get us a baking sheet, huh? First thing we going do is get them a nice char," Milt said and Vee walked over and bent at the waist to get the sheet out of a lower cabinet.

She smirked over her shoulder at the camera. The camera did not zoom in to get a close up of her luscious cheeks, but the camera did not move away either.

After their segment was in the can, Milt turned to the girl and said, "How you don't fall out that thing, huh?"

"Easy," Vee said, making sure that none of the cameras were on, or facing her.

She pulled up the bottom of the shirt, displaying her naked breasts to the now stunned Milt.

"Double sided tape, right over my nipples, see?" Vee said, smiling prettily.

"Uh..." Milt said as she smoothed the top back down.

To demonstrate how well the tape held, she raised her hands over her head and shook her breasts back and forth. Bill Henderson and another summer intern walked directly into each other and Vee smiled at them.

"And I can bend over in these shorts, Vee went on and unzipped them; they were standing behind the counter. "Because I'm waxed, see?"

"Uh..." Milt said, staring at Vee's hairless crotch.

She playfully slapped Milt's cheek, clearly enjoying her brazen behavior.

"Put them eyes back in that head yeah," she giggled, then walked away, her perfect ass globes hanging out the rear of her shorts.

"Hi Mr. Milt; what we fixing make?" Chelsea Guidry came up, big blue eyes staring at him.

"You know how you one time asked me there any dessert you can make in a pan?" Milt said when he got his bearings back and pointed to the cubed chocolate. "Well, we fixing make pan brownies."

Chapter 5

"And today, we making some stuffed French toast and I know you all thinking 'he lost his mind yeah, how you stuff French toast?' Well I'm fixing tell you," Milt smiled as he whipped the egg, milk and cinnamon and vanilla together.

"And you take you some of that powdered sugar; ain't got no powdered sugar? Get you a blender and about a half a cup of that regular sugar and put that in the blender and you just turn it on high and you going have you some powdered sugar just like that," Milt continued as he beat some powdered sugar into the egg mixture.

After he finished taping that show, which now put his number of taped episodes to twenty eight, Milt helped the interns as they cleaned the dishes and the set.

"Mr. Duhon, you don't have to..." Kathy, his favorite intern said.

"What? I'm one messed it up," Milt shrugged off her protests.

"Hey, Milt, I see you?" John Guidry asked, nodding with his head toward his office.

"Yeah, sure," Milt said and pried his eyes away from Kathy's wiggling, wobbling breasts as the girl vigorously scrubbed the soup pot he'd used earlier that morning.

Kathy smirked at him; she'd known she had his undivided attention. Milt was a married man, and as far as anyone knew, Milt Duhon did not stray from his marriage, but he did like to look.

"Milt, just got off the phone with Pam..." John said when Milt sat down.

"Oh, good, this going off-shore then coming back and working here 'bout drive me crazy," Milt confessed.

"Well, uh, she uh, she doesn't want to come back," John admitted.

Pam found that she much preferred to be a stay at home Mom to her son, and to the other children that she, and Cindy Broussard-Robichaux, and Paul Robichaux had living in their home.

"Then you got you a problem yeah," Milt said. "We agreed, I do twenty eight of these shows, I done just finished up twenty eight, and we shake hands and that's that."

"Milt, how about a thousand a week?" John decided.

Lisa Gomez, the young woman that played Princess Powwow had been strongly hinting that she wanted two thousand a week, or she would walk off 'Cajun Carl and John was inclined to give it to her. If he gave Milt a thousand a week, though, he'd have to renegotiate with Lisa.

"No, thank you; that all right," Milt said, getting to his feet. "It ain't about the money no. You said you just needed someone fill in while this Pam girl's out."

"Two thousand a week," John said.

Princess Powwow could be written out of the show; they'd written her out twice while she had given birth to her son and her daughter.

Milt smiled and left the man's office.

"Mr. Guidry? Josh Weissman with Savoie Printing on line three," Samantha, his Administrative Assistant said into her intercom speaker.

Josh did not waste time; they wanted to do a 'Cast iron Stomach' cookbook and also wanted to syndicate the television show.

John Guidry agreed, then rifled through his papers, and searched on his computer to see if he could find the release form.

"Mother of God, please tell me I did get Milt Duhon to sign a release!" John groaned.

But he knew he had not. He and Milt had relied on a simple handshake over delicious stuffed pork tenderloin with broccoli rice and sweet carrots.

John Guidry left the office, telling Samantha she was in charge, and if she couldn't handle it, then Paul Cleary could do it.

"And if Paul can't handle it, kill him, call Bill Henderson in then hit three for our attorney's office," John tried to joke.

Speaking of attorneys, he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Sophia Coutre would be less than pleased to find out they'd never signed a release, much less a contract with Milton Duhon.

John pulled up behind the new Lincoln SUV that Cheryl Duhon had recently bought. The license plate of '4QUEEN' made him smirk; Cheryl was no queen in his eyes. The three blonde girls might be; they did inherit her blonde hair and blue eyes pretty face. So far, though, none had inherited Cheryl's weight problem.

"Hey, Mr. Guidry," Summer smiled when she answered his knock.

"Hi..." John never could remember which one was Sierra, Summer, or Skye.

He was fairly certain the baby was Skye, or maybe this one was Skye and the baby was Summer.

"Summer," Summer supplied.

"I knew that; I was just seeing if you knew that," John smiled.

"Uh huh," the girl rolled her eyes as she stepped aside to let him enter the house.

"Where your daddy at?" John asked.

Out back; Sierra saying she want play softball this year," Summer said.

"Oh, okay, so Sierra's the oldest one," John thought to himself, putting that information away for future use.

Milt looked up and nodded to John when John stepped out onto the back deck.

Mr. Bill, their annoying Yorkie, however, wasn't inclined to let a stranger onto his back deck.

"Mr. Bill!" Milt yelled at the yapping, snarling seven pound beast.

"Hey, John, what's up?" Cheryl asked as she picked up the beast.

"Hey Milt, Savoie Printing, ever heard of them? Anyway, they wanting do a cookbook," John got right to the point, wanting to be away from the annoying animal and Cheryl, who would surely have some inane, pointless opinion about the whole matter.

"How much?" Cheryl immediately said.

"About thirty, maybe forty recipes," John said, fighting his annoyance.

"No, no, how much they paying?" Cheryl demanded.

"Twenty up front, Ten percent royalties," John lied, cutting everything by half.

By now, Milt and Sierra had stepped onto the deck.

"Thanks Daddy," Sierra said and gave her father a kiss.

"Welcome, Sweetie and you need practice when I'm off-shore?" Milt said and pointed to John and Linda's bedroom window. "See you can hit that window, huh? Mr. John? He don't mind no."

"Daddy!" Sierra giggled and ran inside.

"Mr. John does mind!" John yelled after the girl.

John found out again, Milt wasn't a 'dumb ass coon asses as he thought. Within minutes of him sitting down on their back deck, Milt had Josh Weissman on the phone, found out how much the actual offer was what was needed and also found out about the syndication offer.

"John, you think I ever do you like that?" Milt asked, face dark with anger. "Huh? Somebody come up and say, 'hey, I'm thinking I offer John a million dollars' I'd tell you 'oh they only offering a hundred dollars' and keep the rest for myself?"

"No, but I'm thinking of the station," John said.

"John, you wasn't thinking about no station," Milt said, getting to his feet. "Think you better be getting yeah."

While Milt was off-shore, the episodes with the Performance 12 News Crew aired. The station was flooded with calls an requests for tapes of the episodes. The Vee Aucoin episode aired and the number of incoming calls tripled. There were also inquiries about when would Milt be doing shows with the Performance 12 Evening News Crew.

"Can Mr. Milt do one with Gator and Rat?" a young viewer told Samantha.

"From 'Cajun Carl' Honey?" Samantha asked the young viewer.

"Uh huh," the child answered.

Sophia Coutre, as John had surmised, was less than impressed with John's negligence. She surprised John though when she said she agreed with Milt's anger.

"John, why did you try to screw the man like that?" Sophia asked.

She smiled wryly.

"Isn't that what you hired me to do?" she asked.

Lisa Gomez, as John had feared, threatened to walk. Her contract was up for renewal at the end of the month and she knew she held a lot of the cards. Her Facebook page had three times the followers of the 'Cajun Carl' Facebook page.

"And 'The Cast Iron Stomach' gets about ten times more hits than you do," John smiled tightly. "Lisa, I'll be honest; I'd hate to see you go but in a month, most of our viewers would have forgotten what you look like. Milt Duhon? He's bringing in some serious money for Channel Twelve, though."

Lisa flounced out of his office and John shrugged his shoulders.

John Guidry was waiting for Milt when Milt pulled up in front of his house after a hard fourteen days on the rig.

"Man, ain't even had time wash my socks no," Milt complained.

"And Cheryl said your socks don't need no washing," John said.

Milt called his brother Clark and Clark steered him toward Donald Pellichet, his attorney.

"I know you! You're that chef guy!" Ethel Youngblood, the receptionist at Richards, Pellichet, and Jones Law Firm gushed when Milt came in, holding the contracts and release forms.

"I ain't no chef no," Milt smiled. "I'm just some guy Momma showed him how cook yeah."

"I love your show; I eat lunch at 12:30 so I can watch it," Ethel confessed. "We got a TV back in the lunch room."

"Thank you; I really do appreciate all the nice stuff people saying," Milt smiled.

"And if my receptionist can quit fawning all over you, I'm Donald Pellichet," the African American man smiled, extending his hand.

"I wasn't fawning, I was drooling," Ethel corrected.

Milt and Donald went over the contracts and release forms line by line, made some amendments, and then contacted Sophia Coutre to arrange a meeting.

"By the way, caught the show with Vee Aucoin; how did her boobs not fall out of that, that, whatever that was she had on?" Donald asked as Milt prepared to leave.

"Double sided tape," Milt smiled. "And thank God I was standing behind that counter yeah."

"But bet it was hard getting near the stove," Donald laughed.

Milt just smiled as he left the man's office.

Clark had also told Milt that he often carried around a small tape recorder; often he said something, or his client said something, and later everyone said they didn't remember anyone saying that.

"Got you a tape of it; they can't say they didn't say it," Clark said.

The negotiations went well, Milt played back the tape and agreed that everyone was on the same page and everything was above board.

The taping of the show renewed the following day.

"And I'm here with Gator," Milt smiled into the camera as the hand puppet waved to the camera. "And I done told him, I see them teeth, I'm bop him in the head with this skillet yeah. I ain't no gator bait no."

"And I told him, I see that spatula, I'm bite him," Gator's voice said. "Now, what we fixing make?"

"Gator bites," Milt said and Gator turned to walk away. "No, no, I'm kidding. We making rolled up meat loaf; that sound good?"

"Rolled up meat loaf?" Gator asked. "What's a rolled up meatloaf?"

>

"And I'm here with Rat," Milt smiled as Rat waved to the camera. "And Rat's going help me do some cooking today."

"What are we cooking, Handsome?" Rat asked, flirting with Milt.

"Rat Tail soup," Milt said and the hand puppet began to walk away. "No, no, I'm kidding; we fixing make us potato soup and we putting some cheddar cheese in it; you like cheddar cheese?"

"I'm a rat; what do you think?" Rat said, pulling Milt in for a kiss.

>

"So you the mother fucker I can't get a raise?" Lisa Gomez snarled at Milt when it was time for them to tape Princess Powwow's appearance with Milt.

"You kiss your kids with that mouth?" Milt snapped back.

"Eat shit ass hole; I quit," Lisa screamed, flung her Indian headdress to the floor and stormed away.

>

The man that played Chief Wigwam came in quickly and got into costume and makeup while Milt taped an individual, non-promo episode.

As they worked, Milt and Chief Wigwam discussed the misconceptions about Native Americans that still existed.

"And you just mix the cumin and the cayenne pepper together?" the man asked Milt after brushing some ears of corn with lime juice.

"Little bit of salt and we zested up that lime," Milt agreed.

By the time they'd finished that segment, Lisa Gomez had cooled down and come to reason so they recorded her segment.

>

Cajun Carl and Milt talked about growing up in the Acadiana area, Carl in Lafayette and Milt in DeGarde.

"And that's a wrap," Bill Henderson called out as Milt and Carl smiled for the camera.

"Man, how you put up with that Princess Peewee or powwow or whatever it is?" Milt asked Carl.

"Just imagine shoving my foot up her ass," Carl laughed. "That and I smoke one of my cigars right before we tape our scenes together. She can't stand the smell of it."

"Mr. Milt, I just loved that rolled up meatloaf," Kathy called out as she quickly wiped off the stove and counter tops before starting on the pots and pans. "I'm going try that minute I get home."

"Aw thanks cher, you going love it yeah," Milt smiled as her breasts wiggled and jiggled loosely in her top.

"But how you clean a cast iron skillet?" she asked. "I know you don't use soap, right?"

"If you got to clean it, and that's only if you really got to clean it; got you some food stick on there just don't come off?" Milt said and filled the pan with water, then turned the stove on.

"OOoohh!" Kathy said, leaning and pressing her breasts into his arm as she watched Milt scrape the pan clean while the water heated.

Chapter 6

Milt felt a huge wave of anger; there was a DeGarde Police car in front of his house, again.

He had seen Heidi Moek the other day at First Union Bank as he was cashing one of Summer's birthday checks; Summer had just turned twelve years old.

Heidi was just as pretty as she had been in high school, and was just as friendly and warm. At first she simply did not recognize Milt until he laughed and told her how much weight he'd lost.

But, if Heidi had returned from Houston, Texas, that meant Stan Monroe would soon be following, if he wasn't already in DeGarde.

Time had not softened Milt's hostility toward the brash, arrogant Stan Monroe, and time had not softened Stan's brash, arrogant attitude.

Cheryl, however, seemed to be just as awe-struck with Stan Monroe as she had been when they were in school together.

Over the years, Milt had tolerated Stan's occasional visits simply because the Houston Police Sergeant would soon enough return to Houston, Texas and his wife, Heidi Monroe and their three daughters.

But Heidi had told Milt she and Stan had divorced; she'd had enough of his philandering, had enough of his attempts to control her.

"Last straw was when he called Honey, that's our oldest; she's nine, Anyway, he called her a 'stupid little slut' and I said this is crazy!" Heidi confided to Milt. "At her age she shouldn't even know what a slut is, for God's sake."

"Well, good for you," Milt had agreed. "And I see you went back to being a Moek too?"

"Never was a Monroe," Heidi smiled prettily. "Oh, my God! That drove the great Stanley Monroe AND his whole family crazy!"

"Of course soon as we left Stan and his buddies? Harassed the shit out of me," Heidi continued. "Stan's all like 'you're not divorcing me! Nobody divorces the Great Stanley Monroe!' And naturally he thinks I'm having an affair, right?"

And, sure enough, within two days of seeing Heidi, Milt saw a DeGarde Police Department vehicle outside of his house.

Today, once again, here the same vehicle was parked out front. Cheryl knew Milt didn't like Stan in the first place, and certainly didn't like the man stopping by when Milt was not home.