Love, Sex, & Wanderlust

She'd giggle when we lubed up the pistons. Kept saying "She's so tight" when trying to unscrew the engine bolts. Called herself a "Dirty Girl" after she spilled the engine oil on herself. Then, after she insisted on getting under Daisy with me, both on creepers (which of course she laughed at), she would make quips about how it was always a good time to "work on my back". It should go without saying that all this had been done to get a rise out of me, but none was as impactful as the accidental touches.

When my bare elbow would bump against hers for only a moment while we worked under the truck.

When she would hold open the hood and I would stretch in front, our sides brushing together.

When we would both entwine our arms trying to rotate the tire jack to replace the tires.

Each time felt electric. I felt like my own engine had been started; a low, tumbling roar deep within just idling and waiting for a green light. I would chastise myself, try and shake it off as my body sensed the closeness of a woman but paid little attention to blood relations. I knew who she was, and I knew it was wrong. But it has been too long. That was why I felt this way. That had to be it. There wasn't anything there; I'm just picking up on the wrong signals again.

But then our eyes would connect.

There would be just a moment, a brief twinkle that I saw in those blue eyes. A spark. A flush to the skin, still visible beneath the light sheen of sweat and oil. It was the way she brushed a strand of hair back. I could see her breath catch, as I know mine had.

And then we'd blink, and the moment was gone.

There's nothing there. There couldn't be... right?

A loud thunk could be heard through the whole shed as I closed the hood. If I was correct, that should be it. Job's done. But then again there may be something I'm forgetting. Mentally I was checking and rechecking all our work as I wiped my hands on a rag.

Mumbling to myself, I looked over the pickup. "Engine's balanced. All lines were connected, belts on tight but not too tight. She's got oil. Alignment's correct..."

"Hey, Richie!" I hear calling from outside.

Turning, I spy Dani dangling a set of keys as she struts up with a smug grin.

"Wanna do the honors?" she asked.

I remember the feel of the key sliding into the ignition; each tumbler clinking as it slipped into place. My other hand gripped the steering wheel tightly. Dani sat beside me holding her breath. The world felt muted in the cabin, but though we said nothing, our excitement was all but screaming through our weak composure.

I looked at my sister, "Finger's crossed..."

With a foot on the clutch, I turned the ignition... and Daisy sang.

Her roar was like music, accompanied but the percussion of the rumbling engine. Holy shit we fixed her.

Dani was ecstatic, she screamed for joy and launched herself in for a hug across the bench seat. I turned to accept only to find her lips pressing hard into mine. Those lips, those soft, yet firm lips of my sister's sparked my own plug. It felt like a damn burst and I could hear the world.

And then, just as quickly, she pulled back, giggling with excitement.

"I'm gonna go tell Barb!" she exclaimed as she dove out of the cabin as if a major thing that we don't do wasn't just done.

She kissed me. That wasn't our thing. We were hugging siblings, we don't kiss.

But I could still feel her on my lips like a phantom touch.

What the hell just happened?!?

Cold water was a blessing. I faced the shower, head lifted up with my eyes shut and let it pour across my heated skin. I could feel it washing away the sweat and grime while pacifying this furnace inside. Looking down, the unmistakable signs of an erection still lingered. Not quite full mast, but if the wind blew just right, I might lose consciousness by the sudden relocation of blood.

I could just rub one out right now, can't I? Would that be weird? That's all I need to do, I'm sure. Too much baby batter on the brain. I don't need long.

Already sensing what was to come, literally, my cock had risen to the occasion while I debated the politeness of jerking off in an old lady's bathroom... Well, guest bathroom; as if that somehow made it better.

Reaching up, I steadied myself on the tile wall with one hand while my other grasped my turgid rod. It felt like fire, furiously refusing to yield to the cold water raining down from the shower head. Steady, with purpose, I began to stroke.

Images ran through my head as I searched for an image to fuel me. Memories of pleasure cascaded through my consciousness in a chaotic parade of lust.

I saw Juliet, my first love bending over her father's bed the time her parents went out of town. She shuddered in a seemingly endless wave of orgasms as we both discovered a magical angle to thrust.

There was Stacey. She was older than me by a couple of years. I was at a crowded campus party sitting on the couch when she sat down beside me, right on my hand. It was an innocent accident anyone could make while forgoing panties and only wearing a dangerously short skirt. She looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and settled in. She sipped her solo cup while my fingers squeezed inside her.

And Gloria. My god Gloria. We fooled around all summer in '03, but I will never forget the time we just stayed in and listened to grunge rock all day long, rarely bothering with clothes as we just kept tearing them off each other. The way her tits brushed against my chest when she rode me... That will do it.

I could feel the wave approach.

"Richie!" Dani's voice called from beyond the door. "Ritchie, dinner's ready. You comin'?"

Oh shit, Dani. My sister. Images of her flashed in my mind, now twisted by my perverse state. Glancing over her shoulder at me while she stretched in the morning, wiggling her hips suggestively. Or her looking at me over her wine glass while we sit on the couch. Her eyes burn holes in me as she bites her lips and slowly spreads her legs. I see... no... I can feel her pulling on my collar while we are in the cabin. Pressing her lips to mine then opening as her tongue snakes into my own willing mouth. Her arms wrap around my neck as she presses her body against my own, straddling my lap.

"Rich?" she called again.

Fuck, now all I saw was Dani. She was bending over Juliet's bed, beckoning me to slip inside. She was sitting on my fingers at the party with a playful look. Listening to Alice and Chains while grinding on my cock harder than... what was her name?

Oh fuck.

I felt my body tense, muscles tightening.

Not to her. Shit, shit, shit!

But I couldn't stop as a final image entered my head of my dear sister, standing in front of me naked, hair disheveled and skin sweaty and flushed. I see her lips move, mouthing the words to come for her as her chest rises and falls with each deep breath. Her body lowers, she's on her knees while never breaking eye contact. She holds her breasts, lifts them, raises them, and says it again, tells me to come, and I do.

With a final heavy thrust into my fist, my cock erupts painting the checkered tiles. Waves of bliss crash through me as I shudder to each string of ejaculate. Through clenched teeth, I slowly return to earth.

"Rich?"

Oh shit!

I stop. Catch my breath and turn off the water.

"Yeah?" I call back.

There is a brief pause.

"... Dinner's ready," she said. "You okay?"

I can see my come dripping down the wall and a shudder trickles up my spine knowing who caused it.

"Yeah," I said. "... I'm done."

"Kay... See you down there." Footsteps fading away. I was alone again, only this time, awash with shame and confusion.

It was tough to sleep that night. Perhaps it was the excitement of the journey to come or the sadness of the newfound friendship being left behind, but I found I had come to cherish this place. The sounds of the world waking up in the early morning. The way the wind seems to sweeten as it blows through the cornfield. Even Charlie, that good-for-nothing lamb that stalked us in the shadows. I have no idea why I'm going to miss that stupid animal.

Sleep eventually did arrive, and the slumber was deep.

The sun had barely risen over the oaks when we were loading up the truck for the ride. Honestly, it took no time at all as both Dani and I carried what we could in a backpack, one each, plus an extra bag holding her Yoga mat, emergency repair kit, rope, and a quilt that Barbara insisted we take.

While Dani finished up inside, I bid my farewells to our host on the porch. Thanking her for her overwhelming hospitality and parting with Daisy. She kissed my cheek and wished us safe travels before looking me in the eye.

"You take care of her," she said. "She's a special one."

I nodded knowing she wasn't speaking about the pickup.

Giving Winston one last scratch on his head, I made my way down the stairs and began roping together the bags in the bed of the truck under Winton's watchful gaze. Then, with her bag on her shoulder, Dani exited the house for the last time.

She placed a hand on Barb's shoulder as they softly spoke, then hugged tightly with teary eyes. Eventually, they parted and Dani walked away wiping her tears with the palm of her hand. She climbed into the passenger seat and hugged her backpack in her lap. Following suit, I hopped in and started the truck feeling the almost therapeutic vibrations of the rumbling engine.

I put Daisy into gear and began the trek down the driveway watching the house disappear behind the old oak trees as Barb still waved from the porch.

Dani looked back once, then turned to me with a smile on her face.

"Away we go," she said as the tires rolled over the last feet of gravel and met the smooth surface of the roadway. Our journey westward had begun.

* * *

NORTH CAROLINA TO TENNESSEE

My dear sister really did have this whole trip mapped out, highlighted and everything. The plan was to travel westward along the highways and stop every 6-8 hours or so. Instead of heading straight to our destination too, we were aiming for Southern California first as Dani wanted to take Daisy along the coast before we reached home. We'd then shoot up to the Bay Area, then out to wine country where our parents lived.

It felt weird. Kinda like between this middle ground of anticipation and expectation. When you have that pit in your stomach that feels like pure energy knowing that you just started something big, but at the same time you feel like you just crested a hurdle, or climbed a mountain and now you are in free-fall, aimless, weightless. What was this? Excitement? Apprehension? Whatever it was, neither my sister nor I braved breaking this silence. And so that is how we started as we cruised along Highway 40.

"Minnesota!" Dani cried out, slugging my arm with her fist.

"Ouch! Jesus! What was that?" I flinched as Dani burst out laughing.

"Out-of-state plates," she chuckled pointing to a Buick beside us. Memories of a long-forgotten road trip game resurfaced.

First, to spot the license plates on a car that are different than the state you are in, they get to slug the other person. They were always gentle taps, but my bicep still tingled from her punch.

"Dang, Sis," I said shaking my head. "This is gonna be a long ride."

"That's right, Buddy. How far we've gone so far?"

"About fifty miles. Got a loooong way to go still."

"That's for sure," she said as she pulled her laptop out of her backpack. Within moments the cab was filled with the sounds of a clicking keyboard.

Curiosity then hit me.

"So your work, your job... you just articles for a magazine?" I asked glancing her way.

"Kinda'. I mean, yes, I do but not for print. Not yet. I have a web blog that I post to-"

"Web Blog?" I asked.

"Just a website. My contributions are in a space I call 'Kitty's Corner'." She must have heard me roll my eyes. "I know it's super cringy but it draws in readers."

"It's fine," I shrugged. "I shouldn't be one to judge. So what kind of things do you write about?"

"Really, whatever I want. But based on our readers and the branding of the magazine, subjects tend to be more adventurous in nature?"

"Like travel?"

She tilted her head. "Kinda, sorta, but no. Maybe more along the lines of 'Going to the beach? What bikini-line is best?', or 'How to sneak out after a one-night stand'. That kind of thing."

"Right. I think I get it. But what do you write about?"

She paused a bit. "You really want to know? It gets into stuff we normally don't share."

"Well, now you've piqued my interest."

Dani giggled, scrunching her nose. "Alright, um... so, okay, here's one from a month ago." She settled into her seat. She read, "'Covered in Kumquat: Can your diet change your flavor?'" She turned the computer to me showing a feminine face in profile from nose to chin, tongue extended to lick a gap in a suggestively sliced fruit.

"Flavor?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, like, you know..." she said, eyes pointing down to her groin. "... Your flavor."

It hit me. I could feel my face redden as Dani burst out laughing.

"I told you," she said between breaths.

"Man you really just dove in there, didn't you," I said now laughing myself, then glancing at the picture for a second time. "Wait, is that you?!"

She nodded. "Visual aids lead to clicks, and clicks lead to big bucks. I try to include something eye-catching. And fruit can be surprisingly vagina-like." She giggled some more as I rolled my eyes.

She continued as she turned the screen back to herself. "It's not what I expected but I'm really enjoying it. It's what got me into yoga, met a lot of people, and get to open up a part of myself that I never really explore."

Millions of thoughts were streaming through my mind at once. It was only when I felt the thumps of the lane dividers that I snapped out of it.

I nodded, maybe more for myself. "... If I'm being honest, this was not what I was expecting, but then again, I don't know what I thought you would write about otherwise." I kept nodding. I don't know why. "So that's pretty cool. You write about sex-"

"Sexual health," she corrected.

"Is there a difference?"

"Well, yeah," she continued.

"What? Like sex positions, or how-to's on orgasms?"

"No, we don't... actually we have articles on both of those..." She tilted her head again, "Well shit. It is just a whole bunch of sex."

I started laughing. "I knew it!"

"Buuuuuut," she interjected. "There's more to it than the down and dirty. There is a mental factor, emotional. And for a lot of women; there are some societal hurdles that need breaking down."

"Okay..."

"Like, okay, how often do you masturbate?"

"What?! Jeez, Dani! You can't just ask me that!" Once again, my face was flushed.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes, somehow annoyed that I didn't answer. "Alright, whatever. Let's just assume it's around one-to-three times per week..."

I kept quiet. Best not to argue with her 'cause God only knows what she'd say if she knew she was low-balling the estimate.

"But for a woman the same age? So while 20-25% of men admit to doing it that frequently a week, only 7-8% of women do."

"Okay," It was a hard conversation to participate in and my thoughts were turning dirty.

"That's one of the things we talk about. That number should be higher! Chicks get handy-randy too!"

An image flashed in my head of Dani, lying on her back on the couch with her knees up, her hand between her thighs.

"So we help them to find peace, not guilt, in spending that special alone time."

The image returned, this time she was in the shower. Condensation covered the glass but her back pressed up against it as her passion-filled voice echoed off the tile.

"I'm sure you know what I mean. Things can be kinda zen-like after a good... session."

Another image. Dani was on a bed, ass in the air while she bit the pillow. Her fingers rubbed between her thighs. Then my own guilt washed over me as I imagined the sheets as my own.

My face must have reddened something fierce, or maybe it was the tightness of my pants as my lonely cock strained against the confines of my trousers; I had to have visually indicated shame, desire, or something. Whatever it was, Dani shifted in her seat and was silent for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and shifted again.

"You're right, we don't normally talk about these things, do we?" she said.

I laughed, though not because it was funny. "No, not really."

She pondered for a moment, "Why do you suppose that is?"

"I don't know. Isn't it weird if we did?"

"Maybe. Well, yes, and no."

"I mean somethings are kinda' private," I said.

"Yeah, but why?"

"Why what?"

"Like why can't we discuss this? Why does it have to be private?"

"I don't know. Isn't that the polite thing to do?"

"Seriously, Richie?"

A long, heavy sigh escaped my lips. "I don't know, alright? I just don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I don't know what I'm supposed to think. I don't know why I feel I'm supposed to know what to say, or think, or do, or whatever. This whole thing is a little uncomfortable."

From her, for a moment, there was just silence as I stared ahead guiding the truck between the lanes.

"Richie, I hear you," she said. "I do. But If I'm being honest here, something I have found is that it is good, no, it is healthy, to discuss personal things with someone you trust." Her eyes waited for me to meet hers. "But I don't have anyone who fits that except you. There are things I'm working out, some things I need to get off my chest, and others that, honestly," she pointed to the laptop, "I'm just figuring out on the fly."

She closed her laptop, deflated, then continued.

"Look, I'm sorry if I haven't been keeping in touch as much as I should. Also, I can see how it is weird for most brothers and sisters to talk about these things. Yet, for some reason, I feel comfortable doing that around you. I know you hear me, and you listen, but I also understand that you need that too so if talking about this stuff is weird for you, we don't have to."

The hum of the road filled the cabin again as no words were spoken.

I relaxed my grip on the steering wheel after noticing my knuckles were white.

"Sorry, Sis," I said. "I may have overreacted."

"No, you didn't. I kinda' sprung this all on you. So I should be the one to apologize."

Daring to steal a glance over, she met my eyes and smiled that smile that can melt anyone's heart. Damn you, Dani.

"Okay, okay," I said. "I tell you what. We have a long ass trip ahead of us so we might as well get the most out of it as we can. As far as I'm concerned, Daisy has always been a safe place. So, anything you want to talk about, anything at all, I will try and be open."

Her eyes sparkled once more.

"Thank you, Richie!" she said as she suddenly leapt toward me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I barely was able to keep Daisy in her lane.

"Jeez! But let's try to get there in one piece, alright?!" I laughed.

"Oops. Will do," she said as she settled back into her seat. "Oh, and that goes both ways, by the way."

"What?"

"The open-book thing. If you will be that way for me, the least I can be is available for you too. Oh! This could be a great opportunity for a blog!"

I chuckled and shook my head wondering what on earth I got myself into.

* * *

COOKSVILLE, TENNESSEE

The sun had begun to set when we decided to call it a night. We made it to a small town east of Nashville. Our pace had been a little slower as the truck wasn't exactly as aerodynamic as modern vehicles, and we tried to go easy on the engine. The last thing we wanted was to blow it out so far from home. Needless to say, what would normally take about five hours was considerably more and we were in much need of some rest.