Curiosity

Usually when we argued, our pattern was different. We'd compromise, and I'd bend a little more, and a little more until I either agreed with her, or she got her way. Andie was my soul, so in some ways giving her what she wanted pleased me as well. Andie's smile made me feel good inside, especially when I'd done something to cause it. There was simply no way for me to ever share her with anyone else, not even temporarily. I'd always been paranoid about her love for me. I remember the first time we visited her family, I was jealous of the time she spent with her brother and sisters. I wanted, no needed to have her all to myself. Her dad had even commented once that his usual warning to the men who dated his daughters wasn't necessary in my case.

"Son," he said. "I'm calling you son, because I'm sure you're going to end up marrying my daughter. She loves you, and she'd be a fool to let you get away. Normally I tell guys that if they hurt my little girls, I'll track them down and kill them myself, but in your case, I have a far different warning. I know that you love Andrea, but remember, you can tell her "no," from time to time. It'll actually make your relationship stronger in the end. If you keep on going the way you are now, sooner or later, she's going to ask you for something that you aren't ready to give her, without giving up a piece of your soul. By that point it will be too late because she won't be used to you not giving in on anything."

"You're a good man," he told me. "Andrea needs that, but don't let her turn you into something that you don't want to be."

"I'll never do anything to hurt her," I told him.

"I'm not worried about you hurting her," he said. "You clearly love her too much for that. I'm more worried about her hurting you."

The next morning I was on my way out of the house, for my commute to the office, when Andie came out of our bedroom. She looked like hell. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she just looked off.

"Where the hell were you?" she snapped. "You know I can't sleep without you."

"I got back at around one," I said calmly. "I just drove around for a while to clear my head and to think."

"What would you need to think about? Why didn't you come to bed?" she asked.

"I slept in one of the first floor guest rooms," I said and walked past her.

I barely got any work done that day. Andie called me twice on my way to work, and then started texting me.

The first thing my secretary, Myrna told me as I walked into my office was to call Andie ASAP. I didn't and 10 minutes later my cell phone rang.

"What is it Andrea?" I asked. "Whether you know it or not, my job is not just an extension of home. I have work to do here, that's why I come here."

"What's wrong with you?" she asked softly. "Don't you love me anymore?"

"We'll talk when I get home, please don't call me anymore today," I hung up the phone and started trying to work but I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. The thing I kept coming back to was Andie. I looked up the costs for bricks vs. siding for a project I was working on. Before I could finish the math, I was wondering what my life would be like without Andie in it. I ended up doing the same calculation four times, and never finished it.

I turned on my computer and switched to a project where I could just draw. The house I was working on was for a single guy. He was a high profile lawyer and wanted something really different. I'd come up with a design that blew his socks off. The house was mostly underground; the only thing visible above the surface was a large sun room. The house had already been built, and was nearly ready for occupation. I just needed to finish the designs for the landscaping. Drawing wasn't a good idea either though. I couldn't even connect 2 frigging lines without thinking about Andie.

I went out to lunch with a couple of clients and one of my partners to discuss a prospective commercial project that would make a lot of money for all of us.

I still found myself wondering what Andie was wearing, and what she was doing at that moment. Did she still love me? Where had I gone wrong? Could I possibly undo whatever I'd done to make her need someone else? What did Mike have that I didn't?

When I got home that night I was ready to talk to Andie, but it didn't happen. As soon as I stepped into the house, I smelled steaks on the grill. I walked through the kitchen and out onto the deck and saw Andie in one of her bikinis and Mike grilling on my Webber. Melissa was sitting at the table grading papers. She was wearing a dark colored one piece swim suit. Her legs under the table looked far better than I'd expected, and her boobs as she leaned over the table concentrating on the papers she graded were amazing. I think my look at her was more one of curiosity than lust, because though I'd noticed that her body was better than I'd ever thought, I wasn't aroused by it.

I went back into my bedroom and changed into a pair of jeans, comfortable shoes and a t-shirt.

"Hey shouldn't you be putting on a swim suit," smiled Andie.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well Honey, we're all hanging out at the pool. And we usually just wear swim stuff. Even fuddy duddy Melissa is wearing a swim suit." She said smiling. The smile quickly faded when she saw that I wasn't smiling.

"Eric I was just joking, you know I love Melissa, she's like my best friend. I know you're tired after all of that work, so just come on down. You can wear whatever you'd like. Your steak is almost ready. If you hurry you can eat it, fresh off the grill the way you like it."

Andie went back out to the pool. I heard her say, "He was just getting changed. He'll be right down."

I went back out the front door. I don't think they even realized that I was leaving until they heard my Mustang's loud assed exhaust system. I drove down by the lake and stopped off at a Burger King on the way. I parked in front of the lake and ate my double whopper with cheese, while I played some games on my iPad. After I ate I read a few stories about swingers on one of those internet web sites. I had nothing against people who wanted to trade partners, but it just wasn't for me. I got out of the car and spent some time throwing rocks into the lake.

During the evening I saw several attractive single women pass by, either alone or in groups. A few of them looked at me. One or two even started walking my way and attempted to start a conversation. I think my body language, and the fact that I held my wedding ring up to punctuate every sentence, gave them the impression I wanted them to get. They quickly backed off and left me alone.

The thing that upset me the most was as the sun went down, seeing several couples who were clearly in love, walking hand in hand along the water front. As they smiled at each other, and hugged each other, or stopped for a kiss, I wanted to shoot every fucking one of them. My jealousy over what they had and I'd probably lost, made me want to go up to each guy and tell him something. "Run away from this bitch as fast as you can before she rips your heart out," I'd say. "Sure it's great now, but is it really worth the pain you'll go through when this cunt decides you're not enough for her and she wants to fuck your friends?"

I stayed out a little longer that night; it was closer to 2 a.m. when I got home. Andie was lying on the couch in the living room with a blanket. As softly as I closed the door it still woke her up. Her eyes were red as hell again, she'd clearly been crying. I didn't say a word to her, I didn't want to upset her any further so I just turned and headed up the stairs.

"Eric what the fuck is wrong with you?" she shouted. "Just yesterday, and for the past 10 fucking years you've been all over me. And now you can't even stand to be in the same room with me. It's like I'm a piece of shit on your shoe, and you're just trying to scrape me off."

"Andrea, I have no intention of trying to speak to you while you're screaming at me," I said. "I came home with the intention of trying to talk to you, but you needed to have a party. You wanted to talk to me so badly while I was at work, but once I got home that need had just evaporated. I need to get some sleep because I still have to go to work tomorrow, so why don't you pencil an appointment for me in on your busy schedule. We'll talk then."

"What party?" she asked. "It was just Mike and Melissa. We see them, most nights anyway. They practically live here. What is wrong with you? Don't you love me anymore?"

"Yes Andie, I Love you, I've always loved you, I guess that's the problem with us isn't it?" I said.

"Once again I have to work tomorrow, I need sleep. Why don't you call Myrna and set up an appointment for us to talk."I headed back down the stairs, to get away from her. I was really proud of myself for my restraint.

"Where are you going? Our bedroom is up here?" she snapped. The only sounds audible through the house as I fell asleep, were the sound of the door to the downstairs guest room door closing and Andie sobbing.

The next evening Andie was waiting for me at the kitchen table. There was something cooking in the oven and the house smelled great from whatever it was.

"Can we talk now?" she asked. I sat down at the table across from her.

"Eric, what is going on with us?" she asked. "One day we're the perfect couple, and I'm sure above everything else, that you love me. The next day, you can't stand to even look at me. We haven't had sex in 2 days and while that doesn't seem out of the ordinary for most couples, for us that's an eternity. I miss you, I'm going crazy. I want us back like we're supposed to be."

"Andie, that may not be possible," I said.

"Why not," she asked. "What did you do? Did something happen while you're out driving around?"

"Andie I didn't do shit, other than to drive around alone. You fucked us up," I snapped.

She shook her head. "I didn't do anything," she said.

"So you don't think telling me you want to fuck some other guy, hurt us?" I snapped. "You don't think that my being not enough for you hurt us. I've read stories about open marriages and swingers Andie. They rarely ever turn out happy. In most cases they only start the couple down the road to divorce. Not all of them end up in divorces but a bigger percentage of them break up than stay together. It's especially true, in the cases where only one partner wants to swing. Anything that Swings open, also swings closed."

"That's what this is all about," she said laughing. "I've been going through 2 days of hell thinking you don't love me anymore, because of something I was curious about."

"Curiosity killed a cat," Andie.

"I really thought that was over with," she said. "You said "no," I let it drop, end of subject. But nope, you need to go off and stew over it and sulk like a fucking baby. God Damn it Eric. After listening to Mike talk about it, I just wondered...Especially after that last time we were all together, what it would be like. You're the only guy I've ever been with. You know how much I enjoy sex and I just wanted to know if all guys are the same. It's not like, I'm going to fall in love with Mike. He's a lazy good for nothing slob. And he'd be the best person for me to try out anyway."

"So you decided to try this out after talking to Mike?" I said. "That fucking figures, he asked me about it, about 2 weeks ago and I turned him down flat. I guess one of us thinks our marriage means something, and now we know which one. Mike doesn't care about your sexual awakening or your curiosity, he just wants to fuck you. He's stuck with Melissa, who while a very nice woman, is kind of dowdy. He starts seeing you walking around half fucking naked all the God Damned time and decides to see if he can get into your pants. I guess that makes you feel special or curious huh?"

"That's probably not all there is to it but it's one of the reasons I thought about Mike," she snapped. "I did want to try someone else out, and I picked Mike because he is no danger to us. He's your best friend so he wouldn't try to take advantage of the situation. I'm not attracted to him, so I'm not going to want him. It's only going to be one time, and you'll be there. Maybe you can satisfy your curiosity with Melissa. And Mike shoots blanks. There is no way he could get me pregnant."

"Oh, you made a fucking list." I said.

"Eric, this isn't about us. I don't want to be with anyone except you for the rest of my life. I want us to grow old together like we planned. I'm not going to fall in love with Mike and leave you. It's not about you not being enough for me. It's only sex. There's a big difference between love and sex."

"No Andie," I said.

"I thought you loved me," she said. "I guess I was wrong, you're full of shit and you always have been. Oh Andie I love you. You say it so much it's like a broken record. But the one time I need something from you that's a little bit out there, you shut me down. It's only going to be one time."

"No," I said.

"That's just like you," she snapped. "You're so selfish, all you ever think about is what you want. I don't matter."

"If not letting you fuck some guy is being selfish, then I guess I am," I told her. "Andie, I do love you. I love you way too much to ever want to share you with anyone else."

"That's what I mean about being selfish," she snapped. "You just don't know how to share. We've been together for 10 years. We probably have sex at least 7 or 8 times a week if not more. From the day we got together no one else has ever touched me. That 7 or 8 times 52 weeks in a year which is about 400 times a year at least. Multiply that times 10 years and you've fucked me over four thousand times Eric. I was just asking to let someone else do it once. If the only reason we're together is because no one else gets to fuck me, our relationship is pretty sad."

I didn't say anything. I was done talking.

"You know I could have gone out and done this behind your back, and not said anything," she said. "I could have gone out, found some guy and fucked him to satisfy my curiosity and never told you. You would never have known. But I tried to be honest with you, and look what it got me. It's great to know that you trust me Eric. What's that expression? "Love without trust means nothing. I came to you and tried to talk to you about my feelings and this is what I get. Thanks for nothing Eric, but It's my body so I get to make this decision."

"Good night Andrea," I said.

"Wait Eric, I don't want this talk to end this way, we have to come to some kind of solution," she said.

"I'm going out run," I told her. "Andrea, you're a grown woman. Do what you have to do. But if you do, make sure you can handle the consequences of what you do because this conversation may not be the only thing ending around here."

"Where are you going?" she screamed. "We're not done."

"We might just be," I said. I changed my clothes and went out to run. When I got back from my run I was sweaty, but I felt better. I got into the shower and turned the water on. I didn't notice that Andie had joined me until I heard the door close. She rubbed her hands down my back. I moved away from her as quickly as I could.

"Andie this house has three bathrooms, find another one." I said pushing her away from me.

I showered while Andie sat there with a shocked look on her face. Then I got dressed.

"Are you ready to finish our talk?" she asked.

"Our talk is over," I said. "See you later."

"If you walk out that door, I'm going to fuck Mike," she said.

"Andie, you're going to anyway. You had your mind made up before we even started talking. I don't even know why you felt you needed to tell me." I said as I looked at her. "She looked down at the floor and couldn't meet my eyes.

"I wish you could understand what I'm going through, and just let me have this one thing. It won't mean anything," she said.

"If you do it, Andie, things with us will never be the same. I can't watch you all the time. So I hope your curiosity is worth our marriage. but like you said it's your body, and your decision," I said.

"Maybe you're the one who's throwing us away with your stubbornness," she said.

The only reply I made was slamming the door on my way out.

That night I came home early and went to bed in the guest room as I'd been doing for most of the week. Andie knocked on the door at about midnight, saying she wanted to talk. I'd locked the door so she couldn't get in and when I heard her, I pretended to be asleep.

The next day my world started to fall apart. I got home at the usual time, and noticed that instead of sitting in her kitchen grading her papers Melissa was sitting on her front porch doing it.

"Hi Mel," I shouted.

She looked up at me and looked awful. She was crying her eyes out. I went over to her to see what was going on and I knew.

"I couldn't sit in the kitchen and watch them out on your deck," she said through her tears.

I stormed into the house and saw Mike getting ready to dive into my pool. Just as he leaped into the air arcing for the water, I kicked him right in the face as hard as I could. He fell into the water and spluttered out a mouth full of it. His nose was busted and blood was pouring down his face.

"Get the fuck out of my house," I told him. "Don't ever come back."

"Hey buddy, calm down, it's over and done with. She wanted it. She was the one who suggested it in the first place. She told me you were Okay with it. So I went for it. Who wouldn't?"

"Don't make me have to ask you to leave again," I said. "I won't be nearly as nice the second time."

I turned and saw Andie coming out of the house. She hadn't heard anything that happened with Mike and me. She ran up to me smiling. "I told you it wouldn't mean anything," she said. "Now that it's over we can go back to normal."

I pulled out my IPhone and called a local Taxi company and gave them our address.

"The taxi should be here in about 10 minutes, that's how long you have to pack your shit," I said. "If you're here a minute after that, I'm throwing you in the street in your bikini."

"Eric what's going on?" she asked.

"We're done Andie. It's over. You can go to your parent's house, a motel or stay with Mike. I don't fucking care just get the fuck out of my house," I screamed at her.

"Please Eric, it's over. It won't happen again," she whined. "You told me last night to go ahead and do it. I knew you weren't happy about it but just told me to go ahead so I could get this out of my system and we could get back to us."

"Andie, maybe that's what you heard, but it's not what I said. You were the one who said that if I walked out the door, you were going to fuck Mike. I said that you were probably going to do it anyway. That was not me saying for you to do it. Since this whole fucked up idea came up, I have let you know that I was against it. I also warned you that if it was something you needed to do, that you should be ready for the consequences. These are the consequences. You now have 6 minutes left to pack your shit, before the taxi gets here."

"I don't need a Taxi," she said. I'll drive my BMW to my parent's house. When you get your head out of your ass, that's where I'll be."

"Andie the car is in my name. If you take it I'll report it stolen, and your ass will be in jail before nightfall," I said.

She looked at my face and saw that I serious and ran into the house crying.

A few minutes later the Taxi pulled up.

"Hey buddy, did someone from here call a cab?" asked the driver. I just nodded my head.

"Andie, your ride is here," I screamed. "If he leaves you're going to have to walk." I gave the driver a hundred and told him to take her anywhere she wanted to go. Andie came out of the house carrying a hastily packed over-night bag.