Beneath the Ice Ch. 07

"Where are you living anyway?" Theresa asked as she wiped a spot on the counter. "I feel awful that I don't even know."

Charlotte told her and had to smile at Theresa's expression. "It's not that bad, I promise."

"And Alexei lives in the same building?" Charlotte had already shared the tale of 'how they met,' making both Clyde and Theresa laugh, especially when Zoe demonstrated her stomping skills.

"Yes." She understood her sister's incredulity, considering she'd thought the same thing once she got to know him. "He insists that it's enough for his needs, and an easy drive to both the arena and the airport. He's hardly home during the season, so he doesn't feel like he needs much more than he has."

"I suppose." Theresa put the cloth back in the sink and gathered up a few of the plastic containers with the leftovers, carrying them to the fridge. "It makes sense since he doesn't know when he could be traded."

Charlotte's stomach flipped at the thought. She didn't like to think of him being traded and having to move to Phoenix or Miami, or anywhere else, but it could happen.

Theresa turned away from the fridge and smiled at Charlotte. "It makes sense for you to keep your own place too, one you know you can afford. If he up and leaves, you won't be stuck with some astronomical rent or mortgage."

"Oh." Charlotte blinked a few times as she absorbed her sister's words. She hadn't considered that as a consequence of him being traded either. She hadn't considered a lot, floating in her haze of love and sex for the past several weeks. Her heart started to pound and she looked down at the marble surface of the island where she sat.

"Charlotte? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Just thinking about what you said, about being stuck with a mortgage."

"Oh." Theresa frowned. "I didn't mean anything by it. It's obvious that Alexei doesn't mind taking care of you."

Charlotte didn't like the sound of that. "He doesn't take care of me."

"Oh, well, I just meant-- God, I'm such a jerk. Don't take it the wrong way." Theresa leaned on the island across from her with a worried frown. "I'm speaking from my own experience, not yours."

"What do you mean?"

Theresa chewed on her bottom lip for a long moment before blowing out a breath. "Well, when I was in my last year of grad school, I was seeing this guy."

"Okay."

"He asked if I wanted to share a place to rent once the spring semester was finished and I said yes."

Charlotte blinked. She could see where this was going even before Theresa finished.

"We found a place that was a little expensive, but with us splitting rent and bills, it was fine." Theresa rolled her eyes towards the ceiling and let out a heavy sigh. "And then in September he announced that he'd found a job in Minneapolis and was taking it. Leaving me with the rent and all the expenses."

"Oh, jeez." Charlotte sucked in a breath. "That must have been stressful."

Theresa let out a dry laugh. "You could say that. I was living off free samples from the corner grocery store for a couple weeks when all my savings ran out and didn't know what I was going to do."

"What did you do?"

"I considered calling Mom and Dad, but ended up getting lucky and found a roommate just in time."

"Clyde." Charlotte smiled, having already heard the rest of this story. They'd been roommates, and less than a month into living with each other, they'd fallen hard. Once the lease on that place had ended, they'd decided to move into a new place all their own, and eventually, get married. "I didn't realize it was because another guy had skipped out on you."

Theresa cringed and nodded. "Yeah. I got very lucky." She met Charlotte's gaze and leaned across the island to clasp one of her hands. "And I don't mean to make it sound like Alexei would do that to you."

There were the skipping heartbeats again. Charlotte swallowed and looked down at Theresa's hand. "I know you didn't mean that."

"I just worry. Now that we're sisters again."

Charlotte lifted her eyes and managed a weak smile. "We were always sisters."

"I know you're smart and capable of taking care of yourself. More than I ever was at your age, that's for sure." Theresa let her hand go. "I don't want to see you make the same mistakes I did, jumping into something so fast without a back-up plan."

"I won't." And she hadn't. Yet. Had she?

"I mean, I'm probably getting ahead of myself. You've only been seeing each other, what? A month?"

"Two, officially." Charlotte squinted as she counted back. "A little less than that, I guess."

"So you're not even thinking about living together or anything, right?" Theresa patted her hand one more time before straightening up. "You're smart enough to not get stuck like I did."

Well, Charlotte wasn't so sure about that. She wasn't exactly living the high life on her own. She remembered Sarah's joking comment before the gala and sighed.

"Are you okay?"

Charlotte blinked, looking up, and realized she'd been silent for several minutes. Her sister was watching her with an uncertain expression. "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Okay." Theresa gave her another long look before moving around the island and finishing with her dinner clean up. "Anyway, I don't know Alexei as well as you do."

"No. You haven't had a chance to spend any time with him."

"I'm sure I will, right?" Theresa smiled at her as she put a bowl away in the cupboards. "He seemed like a very dashing boyfriend when we met the other night."

Charlotte rubbed a thumb over the marble surface of the island, giving her sister a distracted nod. But in her head, her thoughts were spinning and tumbling over each other. Did she already rely on Alexei for too much? Was he going to get traded in the spring and she'd be left struggling to find time to care for Zoe and herself? All on her own again?

"Charlotte? Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry if what I said upset you." Theresa came around the island to her side, perching on the stool beside hers. "You're not like I was when I got screwed. You won't lose your head like I did, or end up stuck like I was. You're obviously capable of taking care of yourself and won't let yourself get swept away by a handsome, rich man."

Charlotte blinked, absorbing her sister's words. She knew Theresa didn't mean anything by them. She was projecting her own concerns on Charlotte's life and logically, Charlotte knew what she said was reasonable advice, but it burned all the same. Doubts, guilt, every emotion she'd had and shoved aside over the past few months surged to the forefront of her mind once again.

"Not that I'd blame you either. After everything you've been through, of course I understand the urge to let someone take care of you." Theresa's hand squeezed around hers. "But you'll always make the right decisions. You always have."

Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down with a short nod. She didn't know what else to say or do in response to Theresa's words. She slipped her hand from under her sister's and slid off the stool.

She needed to go, to get away from more of Theresa's well-meaning comments. She didn't want to think about getting stuck again, about being alone with no one but herself to rely on. Was that where she was already though? She already didn't know how to spend her days without Alexei by her side.

"I think it's time we were going. It's getting late and Zoe has a bedtime."

"Oh, sure. Of course." Theresa's voice was light but Charlotte could tell she'd hurt her sister.

Ignoring even more guilt, she walked downstairs to gather her daughter and say goodnight to Clyde. Back upstairs in the foyer, the couple hugged them both after they donned their coats and waved as they walked out to the waiting car.

"It's cold, Mommy." Zoe gave an exaggerated shiver that made Charlotte smile, albeit a small one.

She cranked the heat vent all the way up and headed home, Theresa's words ringing in her head.

─────

Alexei was worried. It was new, in the grand scheme of things, and yet, ever since two pairs of perfect aquamarine eyes had met his, it was a sort of general state of being now. He didn't like being away from them, though his game was as on-point as ever. When he called after his first game on the road trip, both his girls had been fine, happy, and maybe a bit tired since it had been late, especially after the last half of his conversation with Charlotte.

In between games three and four, the evening after Charlotte and Zoe had been with Theresa and Clyde for dinner, Zoe was as she always was, chatty and exuberant. Charlotte, on the other hand, was not herself.

Alexei waited patiently as Charlotte put Zoe to bed, listening to the little girl's sleepy yawns over the phone. He said one more goodnight when Charlotte handed Zoe the phone, and then waited, listening as Charlotte closed Zoe's door and started turning off the lights in their apartment.

"Are you sure you're all right, lyubov?"

"I'm fine."

Her tone suggested otherwise.

"Did something happen with your sister?"

Charlotte sighed, a heavy sound and it made Alexei wish he was there so he could see her face.

"Nothing happened. Dinner was fine."

Fine. Awful word. Alexei's lips twisted and he paced across his hotel room to the window, staring at the unfamiliar Vancouver skyline. "Something is wrong and you can tell me whatever it is. I want to help."

"There's nothing to help, Alexei. I said I'm fine, and I mean it."

"Then why are you snapping at me?"

"I'm sorry for snapping." Her tone was still snappy even as she apologized.

Alexei rubbed his closed eyes, stifling his own sigh of frustration. This was the first time they'd had any sort of tension since their initial meetings, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He needed to try something different, since asking her outright wasn't getting him anywhere.

"What did you have for dinner?"

"Dinner?" She seemed surprised by the question. "Oh, this casserole thing, with chicken and broccoli, and garlic bread."

"Sounds delicious. Did Zoe eat all of hers?"

"She did. She even asked for a second helping."

"Really?" That surprised Alexei. Over the last week before he'd left on the road trip, the little redhead had been acting more fussy with her food options. Maybe it was a phase. "How were the roads on the drive? I saw how much it snowed there yesterday."

"They weren't great." There was some rustling and Alexei pictured Charlotte climbing into bed. "But I went slow and avoided the higher traffic areas."

"What neighborhood do Theresa and Clyde live in?"

Charlotte told him and he nodded to himself, still staring out the window. "That's a nice area."

"It really is." Another long sigh. "Theresa says they're trying to have kids."

"Oh. That's nice." He blinked at his reflection on the glass. "She told you that?"

"Yeah. She showed me the house and she already has a room painted as a nursery."

"I bet it was nice." Was that all he could say suddenly? Nice? He cleared his throat and moved away from the window. "Their house must have been large."

"It was."

Charlotte fell silent as Alexei made his way to his own bed and slipped under the covers.

"Charlotte?"

She replied with a loud yawn, making him smile at last.

"I'll let you go so you can sleep."

"Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Yes, I'll call before we go to the arena for the game."

"Sounds good. Good night." And she ended the call before he could say anything else.

For a few minutes after the call ended, he stared down at the blank screen of his phone, rubbing his thumb over the corner. Something had happened at that dinner and he was going to find out what it was, as soon as he was back home with his girls.

─────

In the days between the dinner with Theresa and Christmas Eve, Charlotte focused on her routine. Work, sleep, taking Zoe to and from daycare. She managed to fit in a bit of Christmas shopping for her daughter and helped Zoe make a couple handmade gifts for Ursula, Sarah, and Sarah's mother, Gladys. They would see everyone on Christmas day, as was their usual routine, and the day after Christmas, Charlotte and Zoe would be back at Theresa and Clyde's for a family dinner. With the whole family, Charlotte's parents included. To say she was nervous about that was an understatement.

Throughout all of the planning and shopping and getting through every single day, she couldn't shake the conversation with Theresa from her mind. She replayed it over and over again, told herself it was just Theresa being a concerned big sister, that it didn't mean anything. So what if Theresa had been screwed over by a guy? It didn't mean Alexei would do the same to her. Especially if she ended things before he did, before she got any more wrapped up in him and let herself get swept away. It was a sound course of action, she told herself. She'd gone it alone before, she could do it again.

Christmas Eve was on a Sunday and Ursula had the store open for a few hours in the morning, for any last minute shoppers. She didn't force anyone to work, but Charlotte offered to work the shift and took Zoe with her, since daycare was closed. The little girl was content to sit behind the desk, coloring in her coloring books and playing with the My Little Ponies she'd brought along.

Charlotte also knew she was avoiding being home for Alexei's return. They'd spoken on the phone every day, as usual, and she thought she'd masked her confusion and guilt well enough, though he did ask if everything was okay now and again. The man was far too astute for her peace of mind. She owed him a face-to-face conversation before it was over.

Ursula spent some time with Zoe behind the counter and Charlotte found them discussing the option of coloring a mermaid's hair green or purple when she returned from a bathroom break.

"My vote is for green." Charlotte leaned on the counter, eyeing the picture in question.

Zoe looked up with a frown. "Green?"

"Yeah, like the seaweed. It would be awesome camouflage, right?"

"You're right." Zoe picked up the green crayon. "You're so smart, Mommy."

Ursula patted the little girl's head and winked at Charlotte. "You're right, Zoe. You're mom is very smart." Her smile dimmed as she took in Charlotte's expression. "Are you all right, honey?"

Charlotte pasted a smile on her face and turned away to fuss with a nearby display of towels decorated with Santa faces. Ursula came around from behind the counter and took Charlotte's elbow in one hand, leading her away from Zoe.

"Come on now. You can tell me. Is something going on at home? Are things okay with Alexei?" Ursula frowned as she asked, keeping her voice pitched low so Zoe wouldn't overhear.

"I'm fine."

Ursula's expression changed. She had her 'stern mom' face on now. Charlotte wilted and rubbed a hand over her face.

"All right, everything's not fine. I'm going to end things with Alexei." There. She said it. Out loud. And still felt like throwing up. She pressed a hand to her chest to keep from vomiting all over her boss.

"What in the world are you talking about? Did he hurt you? Or Zoe?"

"What?" Charlotte scowled and shook her head, her stomach still churning. "Of course not. He'd never hurt anyone, least of all us."

"Did he say something? Did he cheat on this road trip?"

"No." Something else she knew without even having to ask. Alexei was a perfect gentleman. The perfect man. And that's exactly why she couldn't stay with him.

"Help me out here, hon. Why on earth would you dump him then? I saw the way you two look at each other when he visited the store last time. That's not something you see every day."

Charlotte turned away as warmth flooded her chest and crept up her neck. Just what she needed. A fever to go with the stomach flipping over. "We're not right for each other, okay?"

"No, that's not okay." Ursula tugged her around to face her again and placed her hands on Charlotte's shoulders. "Talk, young lady."

Damn. She was breaking out the 'young lady' to go along with stern-mom face. "We're not. I'm a single mom and he's a hotshot professional hockey player. We're not going to be together forever, so I'm ending things with him, before he can end them with me."

"You think he's going to end things?"

Charlotte shrugged. "I don't know. Not today, but some day. Like I said, there's nothing he could possibly want from me. What could I ever offer to someone like him?"

"Oh, I don't know. A life of love and happiness?"

"Please." Charlotte scoffed. "That's the last thing I should be expecting from him. One trade and we'd never see each other again."

"Not unless he married you."

Charlotte blinked and tried to laugh but her heart ached too much. Someone like Alexei, with all his talent and life experience, would never propose to her, a single mom with no prospects. "He's not going to marry me."

"You never know, hon." Ursula dropped her hands. "But you know your own mind. I'll say this though, don't go putting the cart before the horse."

Charlotte's mouth pinched at the expression, making the older woman smile and pat her arm.

"As in, don't break up with Alexei unless you have a good reason."

Oh, she had a good reason. She knew it. Didn't she?

─────

Alexei wanted to wait at Charlotte and Zoe's apartment for them to get home from the store, but he wasn't sure if Charlotte would welcome that. Sure they'd talked every day but it had been stilted and overly polite, as if they were nothing more than mild acquaintances.

So when he got home from the airport, he started a load of laundry and changed into workout clothes before deciding to do some yoga. After being squeezed into the plane for the long flight back from Los Angeles, he needed to get in some stretching to unwind.

He was finishing up the last pose when he heard the familiar noise of Zoe entering the apartment above. Straightening up, he wiped his neck with his towel and crossed his apartment to grab his phone from his dresser. He normally wouldn't bother checking first, but after the way things had been, he didn't want to push Charlotte.

He shot her a quick text and waited with his phone in hand for a reply. Above his head, he heard more quick footsteps, then the sound of Zoe throwing herself onto the couch. All of it made him smile, especially when he recalled how much the noise used to irritate him. A lifetime ago, or so it seemed.

Charlotte didn't respond to his text and the longer it took, the more disgruntled Alexei grew. She had to realize he knew they were home. Why was she ignoring him?

Setting his phone down, he quickly changed out of his workout clothes and headed for the door. He wasn't going to make this a fight but he wasn't going to let her shut him out either.

Upstairs, he knocked before barging in and Charlotte must have been in the kitchen because she actually pulled the door open before he could. She gave him a half-hearted smile, her eyes darting away from his.

"Hey. Sorry, I was going to reply to your text in a minute."

He grunted something that might have been a response as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Grumpy!" Zoe launched herself at his legs and he smiled in earnest at the little girl, bending to give her a quick head pat. "I missed you but we watched all your games."

"Did you?" He glanced at Charlotte, who had moved away, pulling clean dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away in the cupboards. All while not looking or acknowledging him at all.

"Yes. You were the best!"

Chuckling, Alexei let Zoe pull him inside and over to the couch. She chattered away, filling him in on everything he'd missed over the past two weeks. After a while, Charlotte joined them, though she still wouldn't meet his gaze. It was really starting to get to him.