Bang! Bang!

I stood there looking down at the woman who until last night had been my world and it was obvious that she was in as much pain as I was. Our marriage was teetering on the brink of a very dark abyss and I wondered if we had the strength going forward to keep from toppling over the edge.

I reached down and lifted Anna to her feet and we held each other until her sobbing quieted.

"Let's go make some fresh coffee." I told her.

"Thank you Brad, oh Brad" she whispered, "I think I broke your car when I pulled into the driveway just now."

"Yeah, I heard it. We'll talk about that too" I told her.

I helped her back down the stairs and into the kitchen. As we sipped our coffee I asked her. "What changed your mind? Last night you were so sure that you had to go with Stan. What changed?"

She peeked at me over the rim of her cup, her dark eyes still red and swollen. "You buried our marriage."

"What do you mean?"

"You put our marriage license in that awful coffin and nailed down the lid. After you left I went upstairs to pack, but all I could think about was our marriage license inside that dark, terrible place. Our marriage was over, you were burying it. It was in a place with no air, no light and it couldn't get out. And then I began to think of all the wonderful things that license had given us, all it had meant to me. We were a team, so happy when we were together and I thought of how happy you had always made me. I guess I dozed off because I dreamed that I was in that coffin, that dark place and I felt like I was suffocating. It was so real that it woke me up and I knew I had to somehow get that lid off that coffin and get our marriage back out where it could breathe, where I could breathe."

She laughed a little. "I never realized how well you hid your tools. It took me at least an hour to find the crowbar and another half hour to drag that coffin up to the bedroom and pry the lid up enough to get our license out. I felt obsessed. I had to get it out before you could hammer the last nail into the coffin."

"When did you decide not to go with Stan?"

Again she giggled, a sound that warmed my soul. "About two seconds after you walked out the door I knew I could never go away with Stan or anybody else. I felt so stupid and ashamed. How could I treat the only man I have ever loved the way I'd treated you? I tried over and over again to call you, but you wouldn't pick up. Then I started texting you, but that didn't work either. Much later, after I'd finally gotten the coffin lid pried up to where I could reach inside it I thought of how I would tell Stan I never wanted to see him again. I removed all my makeup and dug out your old Cal Tech sweatshirt and sweatpants and put them on, my eyes were already red and ugly from all the crying I'd done and I wondered how beautiful Stan would think I was when he saw the real me, the real me that you see all the time and you still love me?"

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever known Anna. Even now you look perfect to me."

"And when I realized that I knew I had to do everything in my power to get you back. To make you love me again. I hadn't packed much yet, but when I started to unpack I saw the negligee and panty and bra sets I'd bought for the trip with Stan and I broke down again. Suddenly the mere sight of them made me ill. They were the final expression of my betrayal and I had to destroy them so I took my scissors and ripped them all up. You know they cost a lot of money too, but I couldn't stand to look at them so I destroyed them just like I thought I'd destroyed you and our marriage.

That was when I went to where I'd placed our marriage license and I picked it up and studied it. It's really simple. It says that Anna Stanford and Brad Connolly were united in holy matrimony on June 12th, 2005 and it was witnessed by my maid of honor and your best man. But while I looked at it, it all came back to me. We stood in front of all our family and friends and gave ourselves to each other. We vowed to be faithful to each other until death and I cried again realizing I could not share myself with anyone but you. I cannot share what I do not own, and that's what I told Stan when he came to pick me up."

"Thank you for telling me. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Do you think we're going to get by this and be alright?"

"I don't know Anna. I hope so, but right now I don't know. You just about killed me last night. I've never felt pain like that in my life. I felt so betrayed, so alone, so helpless. do you have any idea how it feels to know that the one person on earth you love beyond all others, the one you've always trusted without question is choosing another man over you?""

She broke into tears again. "Oh Brad I am so sorry. I was out of my mind. I'd do anything to make it better, even die if that would help."

"That would definitely not help. I want you alive and healthy and more than anything I want to be able to trust you again. That won't be as hard as it could be because, as you said, we've always been honest with each other, even last night you told me how you felt."

"How I thought I felt Brad."

"How you thought you felt. So, what now Anna?"

"I don't know about you but I didn't sleep well last night and if it's ok with you I'd like to take you to bed with me."

"I don't know. It might be too soon for that."

"We don't have to do anything Brad. I just want to feel you next to me where only you belong."

Her dark eyes were so pleading that I couldn't refuse. OK, but no messing around Anna, I'm still mad at you."

A tiny smile caught the corners of her mouth. "Anything you say darling" and she crossed her heart as she took my arm and led me up the stairs to our room. "Absolutely no messing around."

Prologue

Things were touch and go for a couple of months. As hard as I tried there were times when that night flashed back in my mind and I got moody. Anna seemed to sense when those times happened and she'd smoother me with love to the point where she became the only thought in my mind.

She did quit her job and when her immediate boss and HR wanted to know why, she told them. Yes she was embarrassed, but she needed to get it off her chest. Not too surprisingly the head of HR told her that there had been three prior sexual harassment complaints about the really nice guy Stan and to make a long story short he found himself without a job and no references. Anna was not only allowed to keep her job, but given a rather substantial sum of money to promise not to sue the company. She only stayed on for about six months because we discovered we were about to become parents. I guess there's more than one way to BANG! BANG! BANG! to make an impression.

Oh and yeah, of course. as soon as Anna got me up the stairs and onto our bed that faithful day, we, well I think you know.

The end