26th October 2010

*cue porn music 'bow chica bow bow'*

How sick that you all knew just what porn music that was! Perverts!!

Just a quick drop by to say hi!

And thank you all for your comments and feedbacks in days gone by...they always bring a smile to this face that y'all took the time out to message me, and I don't always have time to reply but I do when my dungeon master permits.

*giggles* Kidding :p I don't have a dungeon master.

*sad face*

I have a dungeon Mistress.

*happy face*

Not kidding.

Ok, kidding.

Confused?

Good.

Isn't it more fun when you don't really know what's happening? ;)

As for new audios...they're coming.

I could tell you where, and when...and what about...but then, where's the fun in that?

Stay Horny ma lil' undies around the ankles perverted freak.

Always,

AP

======================

25th February 2009

*knocks on the wall*

..ello...*echo* ello...ello...ello.

Just checking in to change some things on my profile...*cries* i'm no longer in the 18-26 group...*looks around at the 27-32 group* well, you guys don't look so bad, no pervier than the rest. I also checked out some of the local talent on the audio stories circuit and am glad to see some of the usual suspects along with some newbies pervs around.

I've been having a little bit of a writer's block thing, so thought I might try my hand...well, your hand :p ...but my voice ... at this audio thing again.

Of course, once i try to do that, then no doubt the block will shift to my audio brain, and my writer's block will be all cleared up.

See what a genius I am?

Hope you're all taking care of you... and proper care of all those bits that need the most care... ok, i actually meant "attention" but you know what i mean...

And that is...

Stay horny...

;)

xo,

- AP

====================================

10th July 2006

'ello me horny lovelies :-)

I know, I know. I suck...but let's not talk about my stories yet :-P

I've been a lil AWOL-ish. Thank you all for your emails...asking how I am, and as to my whereabouts...and wondering if i've been busy gettin' busy :-D... would i dare disappoint?!

Life changes yada yada yada...

But my self-imposed semi-retirement will probably be short-lived and I hope to be back with some sort of story or another soon...a girl's gotta have her playtime after all ;-) And haven't you all been giving me such inspiration?!

tch tch...the number of perves out there..

*sniff sniff* I'm so proud of you all ;-D

Now... if you will excuse...i hear an orgasm calling my name...

can you hear it, too.. "AP??.. APPPPPPPPPPP??????"

Better go see what it wants..Mustn't leave it waiting, that would be ruuuuuuuuuuuuuude.. and i usually leave all my rudeness for my stories ;-)

Take care ma hornilicious lovelies.

Stay Horny!

-AP

===

6th April 2006.

...the sun will come out...tomorrow...bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun..

there better fucking be.

my bullet's battery is fucking solar powered eeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!

AP out. Stay Horny Y'all!

====

24th March 2006

Had a rough week.

Wouldn't have gotten through it without your weird, pervy, kinky, sweet, horny messages. Will get back to you all my lil jackers :-P

For the trolls, oh how i hate to love you just as you love to hate me! You've pushed me to new heights of perversity and I shall forever thank you for that. Enjoy the stories!

For those who left comments on the stories. *sigh* fuck. you'll never know how much they meant to me...no, really. thank you, from the bottom of my...heart. (lol i'm being serious dammit!)

So, new era. Let's see what happens.

Stories up soon should be: Femme:one for the ladies, and Masturbation: (er title says it all) one that has been requested that i repost.

So have a good weekend my horny lovelies. May debauchery ensue!!!!!!!!

Stay Horny!

xo,

-AP

====

16th March 2006

Thought of the day:

Well, no, it was a thought of the day awhile back but frankly I was too busy being horny and procrastinating in writing and recording stories that I didn?t get a chance to share it with you all but I'm here now and you're getting restless so I'll shut up now.

......

......

......

wha?? I said I was shutting up remember?

hang on, I'm missing something...it's coming?...don't tell me?it's coming. oh. yeah. ok. shit. my thought of the day, I know now. shut up! or else I'll start "faking" in my stories like some have been accusing me of doing, and then where will we all be?!!

Anyways, as I was saying before you interrupted me..sheeesh.. *grin* *lick*

Thought of the day (take three)

Following the event of a lube assisted masturbation, or if you are lucky, hot fuck session (stop rubbing it in my face you non-LDR-empath) always, always put away your tube of lube. It is NOT wise, in your orgasm (orgasm *yummmmmmmmmm*) daze to simply hide it under your blanket with the intention of putting it away later. Because, hey, you just had an orgasm, you've used up all your brain power on visualizing your fantasy, "thinking" ain't gonna be happening for the rest of the day. Or if you must do the under-blanket-hideage, for God's sake..please, I'm begging you, just do me this one favor, please oh please, put the lid back on.

Now for you kiddies who no doubt are pooh pooh-ing my thought of the day, you reckless lube tube thrower arounderers! Let me tell you a story. It's not for the faint hearted.

I have this "friend". Let's all her ...er, asian_princess (I know, coincidence, huh?) and her bf, Michael..(again, sounds familiar, what are the chances). Anyway, AP and Michael hours earlier indulged in some stress relief and are now enjoying a leisurely game of yahoo pool ( and no you did not kick my ass in that tournament honey?er, I mean, my friend AP's bf, Michael!), and as the game is wrapping up, AP rolls over on her 500 thread count egyptian cotton sheets (she wishes) and in a yelp that now requires her bf to seek regular medical treatment for his hearing, springs from the bed as a toxic, viscous, gooey liquid spreads liberally over her back! Oh no! what is this noxious, nuclear waste substance that is burning rapidly through the layers of her skin! As toxin seeps into her cells and the blood stills in her veins and the breath freezes in her lungs, she reaches under the covers with her last ounce of strength, her fingers wrap around the guilty culprit and pulls out...a now empty, 50g tube of...KY!!!

While her skin has now returned to normal (it was extra smooth for a few days, quite nice actually) the sheets are now gone forevermore.

Oh you who heed not this tale of misfortune and sex play assisting gooey product shall be doomed to repeat the same mistake!!

Anyways, so the thought of the day is this: dirty sex need not mean you should be untidy.

Stay horny, my lil perverts.

xo,

AP.

PS. for the sake of this story, KY was used for universal understanding. Personally, I use wet platinum. hmm wonder if I'll get endorsement now lol

No tubes were harmed during the retelling of this story. Any resemblance to tubes alive or empty is completely intentional?it was a true story for cock's sake!

===

6th February 2006

I want a pearl necklace. A real one. A string of beautiful opaque smoother than satin silky pink pearls.

Why? Because nothing turns me on more than the thought of sliding them deep into my pussy, one by one by one...and walking around all day with one end rubbing, sliding, slipping over my clit, until he comes come...bends me over the kitchen table and takes me deep, hard pounding in my ass..and just as I cum, he pulls the string of pearls slowly out of my dripping pussy and cums all over them...

He then clasps it around my neck...and forbids me to take it off until the next time we fuck.

I'm horny.

xo,

-AP

==

31st January 2006

--

3:30-ish (for the sake of this semi-fiction blog)

"k, deal, I won't cum until I've recorded my story and when you wake up you're gonna reward me by fucking my brain out. Bye baby...night, I'll talk to you when you wake up, *kiss*"

*phone hang up click*

He said, 9, right... No problem. I'll show him. harumph. who needs to cum?

===

3:56pm

9...so that's like, in 8-ish hours time. not that long to go. Not-a-worry in the world. Just go get a drink or something.

==

4:01pm

fuckin' hot coffee fuckin burning the fuckin inside of my fuckin mouth fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!

==

4:03pm

fwuck, thith the lat friginth timfe I'm dddwinking cothee!!

==

4:26pm

how long now?8 hours? eeeeeeezy peasy peachy pie.

mmm, *wanders off to kitchen to find pie**

==

5:01pm

hang on! did he mean 9 my time or his? arghhhhh!

===

5:10pm

checks back of clock to see if batteries are working. realise there is no "back of clock" when it's a laptop.

==

5:22pm

*drums fingers on laptop*

fuck, I'm so horny.

==

5:23

*still drumming...but faster now*

no, really, I'm so fucking horny.

==

5:25pm

*practically a one man percussion band on the fragile touchpad of the laptop*

no, really, I really really mean it, I'm niagra between the legs, heaving bosom, bullet hard nipples, pulsing pussy kinda horny.

==

5:35pm

god damn him and his "no cumming until you record a story" and my secret "I'll show him, I can NOT cum and NOT record a story" pledge.

hey, scrunching your legs like this, *crosses right leg over left and pulls both towards ass*?just allllllllllmost rubs my clit?

==

5:42pm (after 7mins of extreme leg crossing)

almost. ALMOST???

I DON'T WANT ALMOST I WANT A FUCKIN COCK IN MY FUCKING PUSSY

==

5:45pm

*rocking back and forth on the bed. chanting...*

"I will not cum, not recording a story, I will not cum, not recording a story, I will not cum, I will not cum"

==

5:53pm

ties hands to bedpost and tucks legs tight under sheet...

as god as my witness, I will not record a story just so I can cum!!! that'll teach him...aha! I'll never cum again in my life and then he'll be sorry!! I am NON-ORGASMING WOMAN!! no cum shall ever wrack through my body again!

==

6:03pm

AHHHHHH MY GOD, FUCK SHIT I'M CUMMING AHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT GOD FUCK SHIT FUCK.

==

6:04pm.

oops.

==

hehe but at least this time next week you guys will have a hot new story to listen to!! Just give a little thought to what I had to go through just for you, the sacrifice I had to make...

stay horny y'all!!

==6th January 2006

no.

...NO!!

i am NOT going to say it...i can resist.. I refuse to say...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Goddamn fuckity fuck!!)

:-) just kidding...of course i wish you all a happy new year!! how else am i going to get good wishes back in return :-P ??

so, ok...you know me...i love to dole out advice whether you want to hear it or not, right?

if you're going to take kinky photos of your legs encased in fishnets with your dark red toenails showing through to send to your boyfriend so he can get hard and jack off over them (basically the very reason for my existence)...fuckin do yourself a favor and wait for the fuckin nail polish to fuckin dry.

trust me...just TRUST me on this...or else don't blame me when the next morning you freak out while walking past the mirror naked (of course, this could just be me) and see a long red gash on our thigh and yell and scream and dissolve into a pile of hyterics wailing about how you're about to bleed to death...well, that is...if blood dried with a shiny lacquer and could only be removed with acetone.

*sigh*

the things you do just to prove to your lover what a kinky, nasty, dirty little tease you can be...

as if he couldnt tell that by the way i beg him to fuck me in the ass...

*breathe*

mmm,ok, well, this little note degenerated a little more than i had hoped...

i'm horny as all fuckin hell ...so what the hell am i doing here??

*goes off searching for my michael (poor guy, doesn't know what he's in for)...checking out my naked ass in the mirror as I walk by...somewhat hesitantly...*

have a great happy horny year now ya here? or else i'm coming after you

xo,

-AP

======

25th December 2005.

Harumph.

Christmas.

For those of you who are surrounded by loved ones and spouses and children and friends...what the fuck are you doing here? LOL

Now, as for the lonely, the neglected, the socially inept and the clinically insane...a great big hello to you all.

Hands up those far from the one person you really wanna be with today.

Join the Goddamn, fuckin, Merry old Christmas club.

Sucks, hey. (and not in the good way! LOL my michael would be disappointed in me if i didn't make my ritual oral joke :-P)

Logging onto Lit today i received a PM from a Lit friend whom is also dreeading spending the day, lonely, far from his lover...

so in honour of him, and me and my own sexy man, i say this to all the single number out there..

fuck this. go out and make your own fuckin' tradition for today.

go get drunk at the pub, go see a movie, go for a walk through your old high school, jack off for 24 hours straight, go to the beach with your fav coffee an ipod, eat cereal and indian takeout, watch Fight Club, find out if you CAN jack off for 24 hours straight..

whatever!!! it's gonna suck as a day anyway...just find a way to get through it.

and tomorrow is another day.

And now, while my body is still recovering from the goddamn earth shattering mindblowing orgasm my michael gave me this morning, let me leave you with this.

sex. fuck it's fuckity fuckin great.

more. more. more...

Stay Horny y'all!

xo,

-AP

===

10th December 2005

ok.

so.um.yeah...ok.

hangon! i'm getting to it!

so. 3somes. yeah. hmmmm.

goodie? baddie?

i know you listeners like the idea of them (god you guys are downright kinky!!!) but would you really go for one if your gfs wanted to? (lol you're all laughing at me at the ridiculousness of my question aren't you...cos i'm sitting here naked in the privacy of my bedroom and i can hear you all answer with a resounding YES!!! does she even need to ask..) ok, ok i'm a just-a wondering...research and all ya know ;-) )

alright, ok, uh-huh.

guess i'm just gonna have to find someone to practise my oral now aren't I? where's spare pussy when you need one? (hehe talk about the eternal question!)

oh, ok found one! *dives in* oh fuck, while my tongue's busy could someone break it to Michael that he needs to take a nap during the day sometime...it's gonna be a loooooooonnnnnng night.

stay horny all!

xo,

AP

======

5th December 2005

See up there ^^^ ? See? Do you see it?! no, you DON'T do you?!! AHA!

(No, i haven't had another attack of the crazies...that only happens in winter when I get hibernation fever from hiding under the covers too long to protect my nipples from freezing off...ramble END)

Right up there? where you see NOTHING?! is where a picture of my ass should be.

It's not an ass most would revere, nor, unless you had short sightedness problems, would even want to necessarily see but by god its my right to put it up there and up there it should be!!!

Now i don't now if it's some kind of conspiracy to hide the naked asses of the world but i will not be silenced, my ass knows it's rights!I shall not stray in my pursuit of justice...hey look, ice cream...

Anyways, webcamming is fun. True Fact.

And if you have the right lighting, you can watch your very own sexy man taking a slash from over 10 metres away.

My Michael has yet to experience such pleasure as i still can't get my cam to resemble anything other than "block of black space"...but hey at least you get to see a pic of my naked butt..hang on...NO YOU DON'T!!!!

Stay Horny Y'All...(i wouldn't want to feel like the only one ;-))

XO,

AP

=====

2nd December 2005

God, I'm sexually frustrated.

Here's the thing right, good sex? it doesnt satiate you...it just makes you crave more!!! Ask anyone who's had a bout of bad sex..they're not so eager to to jump back in..sadly, i've been on the receiving end of some goddamn mind blowing orgasms lately and now i want more...and he's at work.

Oh well..guess shall have to record a story instead then ;-)

Keep an ear out for it, babes...

Take care all, and especially those living in the snow infested lands...drive carefully.

And if you should see my michael out there on the roads....1.don't tailgate him, it shits him off, and 2.tell him to hurry home, i'm horny...

xoxoxo

PS.to the very helpful feedbacker who keeps wondering...i AM asian, and i have the 20kg bag of rice in my pantry to prove it.

======

6th November 2005

Couldn't sleep last night so I thought I'd work on some recording for fun,Turned out to be really fun . Those of you who know how I go about my recordings will know...i had no trouble sleeping after "restrained";-)

But anyway, to those of us summerbound, oooh it's gonna be a hot one...must find a way around wearin clothes, where's a goddamn nudist colony when you need one...."oi! yeah, you! you know one?... hey!...come back...im harmless...sorry, yeah, ok, i'll put some clothes, ...officer...

hehe

*kisses*

-AP

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